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Euro Babes 4

Studio: Metro » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 11/30/04

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Euro Babes 4

Metro Interactive

Genre: Gonzo

Director: unlisted but possibly Frank Thring

Cast: Ildiko, Carina Wells, Sophie, Nikki Stone, Stephany, Paola, Monika, Katja Love, Laura Red, Katy S., Katy R., Niki Blond, Deborah Valentine, Carlos/Chaz, Yuliya, Princz Romero/Robert, Richard

Note on cast: The scenes listed the women's names as the cameraman/director introduced the viewer to the cast. Often enough, the names didn't match one another. On top of that, the box credits are usually different too. If Metro didn't want us to know who they were, they should've just left off the names altogether.

Length: 120.5 minutes

Date of Production: 5/3/1999

Extra's: All that was present was a photo gallery and trailers on side 2 (about an hours worth but only of old movies).

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The audio should've been better. Most of the time, I could easily hear the director but not the performers. I don't know about you but I'd prefer it to be the other way around. Most of the scenes were shot outdoors so you could hear all the ambient noise which ranged from planes flying by to birds squawking. The full frame color video was shot simply and fairly well for this type of production. The DVD mastering left something to be desired at times but this was an early release by Metro so I can understand what happened. The cameraman didn't try anything fancy and did okay. He did spend a lot of time looking at their feet and, to a lesser extent, asses but that's okay too.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: For years now, porn production companies have spent a lot of money going overseas to obtain footage of hot looking gals in action as an alternative to the usual faces they put on display from more local situations. In the past four years, this has been a huge trend for such companies, partially to avoid regulation and partially to find the next great thing in porn (many of the best performers come from Europe). In an oldie re-review from my past, Euro Babes 4, Metro Interactive provided a lengthy (and cheap) release for fans of foreign gals in vignette style after the director interviewed them a bit. Here's what I thought of the show (I was so naÔve):

"The concept here is that some people like European women. Considering that most of the porn stars we are familiar with have a European heritage, I guess I am missing something. The accents are okay but nothing special and they often look like a few trips to the dentist are in order. My guess is that the term refers to women who will have unsafe sex (i.e.: no condoms) including anal, facials, and DP's. Apparently, AIDS isn't a problem in Europe and the performers will all live forever. I wish them well and strongly recommend that anyone working with these stars be extra careful. For more information on why these behaviors are dangerous and how to protect yourselves, go to: http://aim-med.org . This DVD has seven scenes which include multiple partners, anal, straight, oral, fingering, rimming, and facials. All of the scenes are pretty similar and little direction was evident." Here's a look at the action:

Scene One: The first scene has Ildiko, "Chaz", Richard, and Robert having a four-way. None of her holes go unfilled in this one. The director's voice gets irritating quickly and will only get worse as time goes on. While the sex is fairly hot, her pussy is nasty looking.

Scene Two: The second scene has Katja, Monika, Paola and Robert enjoying each others bodies. You will notice that the sound is again too low on the cast. Initially, all the girls lick and blow Robert, then Katja and Robert pair off while Monika and Paola do the same. You will notice that Katja has a lot of ass zits and doesn't seem to be as interested in the movie as the others.

Scene Three: The third scene lists Stephany and Yuliya while the voices claim to be Anico/Anna and Agness. Robert and Chaz join them. Anico seems to be in a contest for having the most ass zits but she has strong competition from our previous scenes contender. The sex is mechanical and uninspired.

Scene Four: The fourth scene is a lesbian scene with Carina, Sophie and Nikki/Moya. There was some heat to this one although I would have preferred they pull out a bunch of toys and went at it.

Scene Five: The fifth scene was with Laura, Robert and Richard. Her dress was a bit too much for the compression rate used and caused many digital artifacts. Other than that, the scene was okay but nothing special.

Scene Six: The sixth scene was billed as Katy and Katy but we learn that one of the Katy's is actually a Monika. Robert, of course, joins them in a threesome. As in almost every other scene, there is anal, straight, and oral. The scene starts out promising a fetish scene but quickly disappoints us with the same old stuff.

Scene Seven: The last scene is between Dorothy, Deborah, Nikki Stone and Chaz. I liked this one least of all although I can't quite put my finger on the reason. It is as mechanical as the others and includes pretty much what the other scenes have-maybe it's just that you get tired of this stuff pretty fast when the direction goes for a cookie cutter approach.

Summary: This is an example of what a lot of people want: anal, DP, unprotected sex with relative newcomers. I am not as infatuated with this style as others seem to be. If you are looking for a plot or acting in your porn; this movie won't be for you. If you just want a stroke film-this may be for you. The women are not bad looking (although zooming in on a few of them wasn't a good idea). It had enough merit to rate as a Rent It and current pricing is dirt cheap (you get what you pay for in life) so act accordingly. Note to Metro: two things-first, get the names right or drop them altogether and second, find a translator if the problem with getting everyone fired up was a language barrier.

This Don Houston "retro-review" was written long ago before the so-called Professor of Porn had much experience writing reviews. Since that time, he has found Metro Interactive to have a lot of good releases and seen more porn than almost anyone reviewing on the internet. Keep in mind that his comments accurately reflected his fresh viewpoint of the time he first saw the movie.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of many newer performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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