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Valley 911

Studio: Wicked Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/14/04

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

Valley 911!

Wicked Pictures

Genre: Comedy

Director: Jonathan Morgan

Cast: Devon Michaels, Alex Sanders, Cherokee, Kaylani Lei, Steven St. Croix, Trevor Zen, Julia Ann, Cheyne Collins, Jessica Drake, Brad Armstrong, Eric Masterson
Non-sex Roles by: Mark "The Clown" Nicholson, others uncredited

Length: 101 minutes

Date of Production: 6/25/2004

Extra's: For most consumers, the best extra is going to be the bonus scene between Jessica Drake and Brad Armstrong from The Assignment. I described it below but it's interesting that a scene this good never made it to the main feature of a movie (it was a bonus scene in that movie too). For me though, the best extra was the 31 minute long All Access: The Making of Valley 911 by Mark Stone, since it had lots of commentary by the cast, some sex, and plenty of goofing off by the cast. There was also an interesting 2 minute long photoshoot. The rest of the extras were more general in nature, consisting of trailers, various photogalleries, star stats, promotional reels, and DVD Rom material like AVN awards and nominations, company profile, Wicked Casino and the like. I would have really enjoyed an audio commentary (Jonathan is known for giving great…commentary) but maybe we'll get one next time.

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: Valley 911 was presented in the usual 1.33:1 aspect ratio full frame color, as originally shot by the talented Jonathan Morgan. Other than a little pattern noise and a few shadows in one scene, the visual aspects of the movie looked very solid. I saw minimal grain, no compression artifacts, and generally thought the movie looked very good. The audio was presented in Wicked Pictures usual 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround English. There was some stereo separation and a decent amount of dynamic range for an adult movie but I think more work could be given to this aspect of porn production in general; even Wicked Pictures might want to upgrade their efforts if possible.

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Body of Review: Wicked Pictures has long been known as a company that makes solid features, especially comedies, that employ parody to add some humor to porn. In general terms, director Jonathan Morgan has shown more ability in this sub-genre than most of his peers combined so it's no wonder that movies like last year's Hercules have been so well received by fans and critics alike. Jonathan's latest effort is a smaller budgeted release called Valley 911!, parodying the cable television show Reno 911 (which is itself a parody of various police television reality shows like Cops.) Why parody such a show? Probably because society in general holds police in such high regard that a little good natured fun is fair game. After all, in the history of television, movies, and even the printed media, police officers have long fascinated us all. They are the ones that stand against the criminals that'd do us harm and I can't think of a more utilized topic in mainstream literature than that involving the police. In the last few decades, cops have proven as fallible as the rest of us (making for more interesting press and fictional stories) and I doubt they'd be upset at this light-hearted look at a day in the life of a small town squad of goofy cops. That said, here's a look at the scenes by cast:

Scene One: Devon, the curvy brunette with large implants, and studly Alex, were up first in a scene revolving around a domestic disturbance between the two (dressed and acting like trailer trash hillbillies) on a couch. Once their argument turned to a heated display of affection, they gave one another oral before screwing like happy little bunnies. Each gave a lot of energy and had some chemistry to show for their efforts. Fans will especially like the way she ground her hips as she took him inside her tight pussy, much like Ginger Lynn used to do years ago. The music was a bit loud but you could still hear their dirty talk and the pop shot to her mouth at the end of the scene helped make it a good one to look for.

Scene Two: Cherokee, the diminutive brunette with great curves and a lot of playful energy, Kaylani, the tiny Asian with the aptitude for nut milking, Steven and Trevor, had a scene on the set of a porno. Cherokee's squeaky voice and offer to work something out was hilarious as she took care of Trevor and Kaylani's suggestion to Steven made a fun beginning to a good scene. Each gal provided a contrast for the other so fans of one may get to appreciate the other all the more. They all had some energy and chemistry; making the actual sex pretty good with oral and vaginal sex being the focal points this time.

Scene Three: Julia, the lead of the movie for good reason, finally got a chance to shine in the movie (she was the listed star). For those living under a rock for the last ten+ years, she's the hotty on the right side of the front DVD cover (with clear blue eyes). Her curves came in handy as she seduced Cheyne in the interrogation room; stripping him and rubbing him before giving him a great blowjob. Anyone that needs proof that a gal with a couple years on her body can't be better sexually than women (girls) half her age, need only watch Julia go at it in this scene. After he returned the oral pleasure to her, the couple screwed with a small measure of intensity (the oral was the best part of the scene), ending it with her going back down on him and jerking off a load to her lovely face.

Scene Four: Jessica, the cutie on the left side of the front DVD cover, had a scene in a dark alley way during a prostitution sting next. Her hooker outfit went with her role and Brad dressed up as the lonely loser needing to buy sex off the street corner looked amusing in his pimp daddy outfit. The technical values on this scene were probably the worst of the show but they shared some chemistry together as they did the usual oral with straight sex routine (sadly interrupted by a goofy bit of story line between Eric, Trevor and some homely gal with a nice body). Once the two were back at doing one another, the scene got really hot and I could see why even Julia referred to Jessica as one of the stars of the movie. Whew!

Scene Five: Julia, all decked out in her cop outfit, was last up in a scene with Eric outside during the morning hours. Once again, she played the seductress and gave Eric the ride of the movie, rivaling Jessica's scene in terms of heat and chemistry. The sex was a bit more sensual and slower paced but it didn't lack in any way the facets of a good scene. Purists will likely complain about the condom being so obvious this time (in several of the other scenes, you could barely tell one was used) but she looked as good as ever here and the scene had a lot of replay value for me.

Bonus Scene: The Assignment : D-Jonathan Morgan: 4/12/2003: Jessica, looking hot, is driving her car at night and rolls through a stop sign. Brad, as a diligent police officer, pulls her over in order to enforce the law. She seduces him and works out a deal whereby he'll forget about giving her a ticket in exchange for some physical fun. The sex included oral by both and a straight screw in an alleyway at night ending with a facial. In all, it was a good scene.

Summary: Valley 911 sure had a lot of technical expertise going into it with Michael Raven doing art direction, Francois Clousot as the director of photography (both being directors of movies with many solid titles under their belts) and Jonathan as the lead director. The cast was also very solid with plenty of attractive women, comedic leads like Steven and Eric, and a host of silly set ups to provide them with something to improvise with. Unlike Hercules though, the limited budget seemed to hamper the production somewhat since the entire movie was so short (compared to Morgan's other comedic works). This meant the sex didn't last as long and neither did the comedy aspects of the movie. I still liked the movie enough to give it a rating of Highly Recommended but it fell short a bit too often to go any higher. Maybe a director's cut will appear in a few years but I just with there was more fuck for the buck this time. I just hope that Jonathan is given a bit more resources for his next project as that often helps promote Wicked Pictures well into the mainstream world more than I'm guessing they realize (maybe some day he'll write that comedic ode to online reviewers we kidded about a while back; hopefully sparing yours truly from his barbed wit). As a side note, Valley 911! compares pretty well with movies like Contract Star; a movie that appears to be similar in terms of budget, time, and care, so it's not like Jonathan is losing ground to his comepetitors.

Note: You can see recent candid shots of several of these performers by visiting: My Photo's and read about their antics at 2004 AEE Show.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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