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Welcome to the Valley 3

Studio: Nectar Entertainment » Review by Michael Vega » Review Date: 1/16/05

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

GENRE:  Gonzo, Comedy
DIRECTOR: Johnny Diablo.
LENGTH: 1:26
CAST: Sarah Blake, Nautica Thorn, Sharon Wild, Sativa Rose, Jayna Oso, Lexis Marie, Dick Smothers Jr., Billy Tyler and Anthony Hardwood.
PRODUCTION: October 1, 2004


the Audio & Video

Video: Shot in the standard full-frame 1.33:1 ratio with a sharp picture, consistent with features shot on video. Audio: Clear and presented in 2.0 stereo.

the Special Features

"Behind the Scenes" featurette [9m 3s], Slide Show, Trailers for "Mystified", "Mystified II", "Mystified III", "Metropolis", "Illumination", "Space: 2077", "Club Inferno", "Liquid", "Beautiful Girls" & "Perfection" and 7m of Bloopers.

the Fucking




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Billy gets a post-it note telling him he needs to hire a secretary and that he owes Dick $3,000 for a location shoot. After Sarah rattles off her qualifications to Billy during an interview, Nautica drops by with a welcome basket filled to the brim with all sorts of goodies. Holding up a silver dildo, Sarah asks if it's necessary for that to be in the basket. "Yeah, if i'm gonna fuck ya" replies Nautica before gettin' busy undressing Sarah and licking her body. Once Sarah's dress comes off, Nautica gives her pussy a quick licking before laying back on the desk so Sarah can return the favor. As Sarah's licking, Nautica is looking into the camera quite SEXILY [see the pic to the left if you don't believe me]. Next, Nautica puts on a strap-on and begins fucking Sarah missionary-style on the desk. This was just TOO FUCKING HOT. It gets even hotter [if that's possible] once Sarah bends over for some Nautica-flavoured doggystyle. However, I have to say that I was disappointed by Johnny's direction here. While watching Sarah and Nautica make "fuck me" faces to the camera was, at times, sexy, i'd rather see Sarah get penetrated during this position. At the very least, it would've been much more comfortable for Nautica. Hey, gotta spin it anyway I can. Anyways, up next, Nautica makes the lovely Sarah cum while she's riding reverse cowgirl to end this scene.

This is the first time i've seen Sarah. Hopefully, it won't be the last. However, this isn't the first time i've seen Nautica...and she's just as sexy fucking girls as she is getting fucked by guys. If this scene doesn't get a rise outta you...well, turn the TV on.

[Nautica Thorn & Sarah Blake | Fingering, Toys, Strap On, Oral (F), Vaginal | Reverse Cowgirl, Doggystyle, Missionary | Condoms: None | ]

After Sarah tells Billy she's taking a break to get her salad tossed [actually a tossed salad], we're introduced to the lovely Jayna who's nude and sucking on a gold vibrator with her legs spread. And, hey, if you're going to be nude with a gold vibrator in your hand, having your legs spread would be the way to go. Eventually, the vibrator finds its way inside her pussy and we spend the next couple of minutes watching Jayna give herself a good workout in various positions.

Like girl/girl scenes, a masturbation scene could be painful if in the wrong hands [pun not intended]. Jayna handled herself well [really, i'm not punning over here] and while this wouldn't be a scene i'd watch over and over, once was sufficent.

[Jayna Oso | Masturbation, Fingering, Vibrator | ]

During a brief interlude, Dick gives us an insight as to what he thinks Billy's problem is - he jerks off too much. 

Cut to Sharon talking to Billy. After Billy goes in the back, Anthony walks into the office telling Sharon he has to "lay the cable". He then grabs and kisses her before she drops his pants and begins sucking his dick. He gives her pussy a licking before some missionary followed by scissors and anal doggystyle. There was some brief ATM before Sharon got on top for anal reverse cowgirl before taking a shot on her face.

Sharon's not really my type, but the sex looked real good [particularly, the anal action].

[Sharon Wild & Anthony Hardwood | Oral (F/M), Vaginal, Anal, ATM, Facial | Doggystyle, Reverse Cowgirl, Scissors, Missionary | Condoms: No | ]

Dick continues assessing Billy for us until we join Lexis on a stairway in the woods. She frees up her "store bought" tities before sitting on a blanket and spreading her legs for us. Rubbing and fingering her pussy, she lubes up a blue vibrator and eventually sticks that inside her. The scene by cleaning off her vibrator when she's done. It's always good to take care of your toys.

Lexis reminded me of Jennifer Luv and that's not a bad thing. I didn't mind watching her play with herself and, unlike Jayna's scene, i'd watch this one again. And again. And again.

[Lexis Marie | Masturbation, Fingering, Vibrator | ]

We see Billy dozing off. As he does, we're treated to "Fantasy Time With Billy Tyler". The rules of this game are pretty simple: choose between the amazing Sativa Rose or...Betsy the Goat. Since it's not THAT kinda flick, the lovely Sativa is his choice and he begins kissing her until she unzips his pants to take his dick out. Getting on her knees, Sativa gives those luscious lips AND Billy's cock a lengthy workout followed by Billy giving her pussy a licking. Since she's already spread wide, Billy fucks her missionary-style on the desk [this desk has seen a lot of action]. Doggystyle is up next, and Sativa just looks too damn hot while getting done from behind. That is, when Johnny chooses to let us see her face instead of an extreme close up of Billy's dick ramming her. Reverse cowgirl follows, until Sativa ends up with a load on her face. 

The flick ends with Billy getting a rude awakening by Dick, who tells him to go on a chore which leads to a cliffhanger of epic proportions...

Sativa. What more is there to say? Practically every single thing she does is hot, and watching this scene, Johnny's camerawork notwithstanding, will make your temperature rise.

[Sativa Rose & Billy Tyler | Fingering, Oral (F/M), Vaginal, Facial | Vertical Missionary, Reverse Cowgirl, Doggystyle, Missionary | Condoms: None | ]

the Final Word

This was an enjoyable flick. Light on the humor, heavy on the fucking. Clocking in at 86 minutes, there really isn't that much filler on this flick. Obviously, it's the third in the series, so i'm not familiar with Billy's exploits before this. Perhaps it might've been better to understand his character if i'd seen the first two flicks?

What the FUCK am I saying??? I'm here for the FUCKING, man! And what's on display is pretty great. The 2 solo scenes come from out of nowhere and seem slightly tacked on, but if I really wanted to watch a movie with something resembling a cohesive, linear storyline, i'd rent a Michael Bay flick. Nautica outfitted with a strap-on and fucking a cute hottie? Sativa putting herself through the paces for the longest scene on the disc? There are the only things I need.

And this thermos..

That said, this is a Recommended flick.

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