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Stocking Secrets 7

Studio: Smash Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 1/27/05

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Stocking Secrets 7

Smash Pictures

Genre: Tease

Director: Kira Eggers

Cast: Bella Starr, Erin Moore

Length: ~49 minutes (no time code)

Date of Production: 7/5/2004

Extra's: I have to admit that when there's more sex in the extras section than the feature itself, I get kind of concerned about the misplaced ideas of a show. The only decent extra, and it was kind of weak, was a bonus scene from Secrets Exposed between Cytherea and a guy I'm not overly familiar with (Brian). It wasn't a great scene but at least there was sex taking place (unlike the feature). There were also trailers for a number of other shows and a photogallery but neither of those amounted to much.

Condoms: None

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Audio/Video Quality: Stocking Secrets 7 was presented in a non-anamorphic widescreen aspect ratio of about 1.85:1 in color. It was competently done with accurate colors and only a bit of grain and video noise but the camera appeared to display a need to continually move throughout the show; shakily at that. It was better than Volume 3 but not by much. The audio was presented in a somewhat distorted stereo without the benefit of the listed Dolby Digital. I didn't notice any separation between the channels or much dynamic range and the audio seemed to be pumped up to the point where it was distorted (I'm sure some of you also listen to the movies you buy, even if many reviewers don't).

Body of Review: While most porn seems headed in the hardcore, gonzo anal-fest direction, there are a number of releases that should appeal to men who actually like women. On this other extreme of the spectrum, you'll find a wide variety of niche product designed towards specific fantasies and this makes sense since many of us have little interest in solely watching the circus act sex that frat boys are fascinated with. One series that may appeal to you in this regard would be the Stocking Secrets series released by Smash Pictures. The company is best known for its association with director Jimmy D. but they have a number of others as well, including the lovely Kira Eggers who directs this series now. The latest release is Stocking Secrets 7, a show designed around the lovely Bella Starr and Erin Moore. Each follows the admittedly limited action and if that's enough to get you off, yay you is all I have to say. Like Volume 3, there was not a lot going on and the tease you'd get from other releases at least leads somewhere, unlike this show. Here's a breakdown of the four "scenes" but unless you're very new to porn, it probably won't be something you'd drop a lot of cash on:

Scene One: Bella, a bleached blonde fresh off a cameo role in Krystal Steal, started off the show by talking on the phone on her motel room bed in her underwear. She then bounced around and taunted the camera a little bit and showed off that lovely body of hers that was proudly on display on the front DVD cover. She rubbed herself a bit but other than the striptease action, she barely touched herself. What a waste!

Scene Two: Erin, another blondish gal, followed the formula but started by wearing a pink crop top and plaid schoolgirl outfit with stockings on. Her appeal was visually less immediate but I'll be the first to admit that she's worth checking out if you like the lean, all natural look. After the usual striptease, her scene ended too and I wondered why the scene had to be so limited as to exclude any really worthy masturbation action other than toying with a silver vibrator.

Scene Three: Bella, this time in a shower scene, soaped herself up very nicely before masturbating. Granted, this was better action than the previous volume of the series I reviewed but hardly the kind of thing I'd pay top dollar for without getting Bella to sit in my lap while I reviewed it. I'd bore you with a virtual screenplay of her moves but they seemed cold and mechanical to me, hardly befitting a gal that looks this good.

Scene Four: Erin, dressed up in a sheer black negligee, had the final scene of the flick and she too did the masturbation sequence as called for in the script. I'd have preferred she act more into the action but like her cohort in crime, her performance seemed staged and weaker than average. Oh well, even the best gals are limited in this type of release.

Summary: Stocking Secrets 7 manages to warm up the engine but fails to drive you home or even leave the driveway. That's about the best way I can put it without relying too heavily on the usual clichés of a porn review. The gals were attractive, they had some mechanical moves and the production values were slightly better than home movies but it was all for naught when you consider that they didn't really do much more than give you what you'd get in a vanilla strip club (without the touching). I like tease as much as the next guy but unless you like to be left hanging, you'll probably agree this is a Rent It at best (and I'm being generous).

For greater choices in porn, check out: 2004's Top Porn List and 2003's Top Porn List.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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