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Hot Auto Bodies

Studio: Sex Z Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 2/18/05

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Hot Auto Bodies

Sex Z Pictures

Genre: Feature

Director: Skye Blue

Cast: Ava Vincent, Marcos Leon/Martinez, Danni Woodward, Mario Rossi, Kelly Kline, Lauren Phoenix, John West, Monika Sweetheart, Anthony Hardwood
Non-sex role by Rick Masters

Length: 86.5 minutes

Date of Production: 3/30/2004

Extra's: This is an area where consumer friendly companies tend to shine; providing all sorts of cool value added features that will entice a consumer to buy something rather than just rent it or pass it up altogether. I was disappointed to learn that the only extras were a photogallery, some trailers, and spam since the rear box cover clearly stated Behind the Scenes footage being included. I wish Sex Z Pictures well but false advertising is a bad way to get customers from coming back for more.

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: Hot Auto Bodies was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color it was shot in by director Skye Blue. The colors were okay but the lighting so bad that lots of grain and video noise were present and the DVD mastering left much to be desired since I saw a plethora of compression artifacts and moiré throughout the movie. The camera angles looked like someone was experimenting with the camera for the first time and I wasn't happy with the visual aspects of the movie. The audio was presented in stereo English in the MPEG format. The vocals were average and the soundtrack kind of droning but it wasn't too bad overall. There wasn't any noticeable separation between the channels or dynamic range worth going into but as I write this review, I'm of the opinion that this was one of those releases made on the fly, on a shoestring budget, with little planning put into it.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: Sex Z Pictures has had a slow start in many ways, even though they've gone out of their way to employ a number of seasoned directors and performers for their releases over the past year. Given the competitive nature of porn though, they have yet to differentiate themselves from the already crowded market and that could prove to be a mistake for them. After all, if you want hardcore gonzo, there are a couple of leaders to go to (typically, Red Light District, Evil Angel, and a few others); if you want feature porn, you go to Wicked Pictures, Digital Playground, or a few others; if you want something bland, you go to the numerous companies that have little special to offer so other than fetish or price, there isn't a lot to target for. Therein lies the problem; Sex Z Pictures has a lot of potential to offer (look at their cast lists, directors, and press releases) yet they don't follow through (yet). A case in point would be Hot Auto Bodies, the latest title of theirs that I took a look at. With a cast known for draining balls dry and a director that made the best of a bad situation at the generic JKP porn mill, I was kind of expecting something decent, if not outstanding. With weak technical matters, the movie was lamer than it had a right to be, and here's a breakdown of the scenes to show you why:

Scene One: Ava, the blonde cutie in the middle of the front DVD cover, was up first as she took on Marcos in the auto shop's garage. The action was kind of generic, oral, straight and a bit of foreplay up front, but fans of hers won't mind since she seems to have greatly cut back how many movies she makes these days. On top of a car in a poorly lit garage isn't the best place to showcase a gal or her sexual skill and while her throaty moans were pleasant, the intercourse wasn't anything special (and I've liked watching Ava for years).

Scene Two: Danni, a skinny gal that looked barely out of high school, took on Rocco Siffredi look-alike, Mario, in the locker room of the shop. The lighting and shadows of this scene also got in the way of the action although Danni's oral skills would look good under any circumstances. He reciprocated on her, the two boned on a small bench, and the impression I got was that the two were somehow distracted as they filmed the scene (call it a hunch). I look forward to seeing her in better releases, even if she's too lean for my tastes, but this wasn't a scene I'd brag about if I were her (or him).

Scene Three: Kelly, a cutie that has long been associated with the saying "looks great, less filling" to me, and Ava, were up next in a lipstick lesbian tryst outside by a graffiti-laced wall. The scene benefited from the outdoor lighting but the rest of the technical matters were weaker than I wanted since the background noise, the camera angles, and the editing all combined to drain much of the potential heat out of the action. I've seen Ava really into other women before and Kelly certainly looked better with her than she usually does with husband Raymond but the energy was lacking too.

Scene Four: Lauren, the hotty on the left side of the front DVD cover wearing the red lingerie, and studly John, were next up. They had a scene at night in the alley where, you guessed it; the lighting detracted from the heat and caused various visual flaws. If any couple could save this flick from being a dog, these were the two and I wanted very much for them to succeed but as good as they were together, it seemed like a little too little, a little too late for me. She is arguably one of the top ten gals in porn right now due to her skills, looks, and overall appeal to fans and he's no slacker himself so while the scene was indeed pleasant, it wasn't much better than a generic scene handled well. Ah, the lost opportunities this scene and some of the others presented…

Scene Five: Monika, the hotty on the right hand side of the front DVD cover, was up last in a scene with Anthony at night in the alley. By this point in time, I wondered what happened to the budget for the sets (nonexistent?) since it looked as though they did a single take with little consideration for the visual medium being shot for. Monika's ass looked as fine as ever and the rest of her certainly has coaxed a few hundred thousand (if not more) loads out of men all over the world and Anthony is okay as a meat puppet but they were fighting the background noises, the poor camera work, and the low budget nature of the scene far too much to get even a fan of Monika's like myself off. Like the other generic B/G scenes, it was oral and straight only with little to recommend.

Summary: I truly want Sex Z Pictures to succeed but they need to work on the technical matters as well as the chemistry between the couples they present on their releases. Having decent extras, especially advertised on the box cover extras, sure wouldn't hurt but maybe someone should let them know that there were upwards of 12000 pornos released last year. While it wasn't even in the bottom 10%, Hot Auto Bodies wasn't in the top 50% either, owing as much to the lost opportunities as to the way the production was handled. I'm crossing my fingers that they get better quickly or Skye might have to direct similar fare over at JKP again, and we all know that would be a waste of talent, yes? For what it's worth, my rating of Skip It should be taken with a grain of salt if you're very new to porn or are a slavering fanboy of some of the cast but otherwise, pass it up for something better.

For better choices in porn, check out: 2004's Top Porn List and 2003's Top Porn List.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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