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Wet Nurse

Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 3/30/05

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Wet Nurse

Vivid Entertainment

Genre: Feature

Director: David Stanley

Cast: Kimberly Kane, Evan Stone, Savanna Samson, Steven St. Croix, Nicole Sheridan, Voodoo, Rick Patrick, Tory Lane
Non-sex roles by: Sharon Kane, Don Peters, James Mitchell

Length: 81 minutes

Date of Production: 10/20/2004

Extra's: The extras were standard for Vivid, including 5 bonus scenes from other releases (three with Savanna Samson in them) but my favorite was the 19+ minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Vic Alpine. There was also a short biography for Savanna, some trailers, a couple of photogalleries, a positions room, and a double sided DVD cover. Like most Vivid DVDs, there was also a bunch of forced spam at the beginning of the DVD that bugged me (phone sex commercials probably have their place but in front of the DVD is not one of them).

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: Wet Nurse was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as originally shot by director David Stanley. The clarity of the picture was about average for Mr. Stanley though the colors seemed accurate in most cases. There was some video noise and grain I've long associated with his work but before being fired by Vivid, he seemed to be improving his efforts a bit. On the negative side, the composition of most scenes still seemed substantially less flattering to the women than most contemporary porn directors with an abundance of close up shots and lowly lit scenes to detract from their usual good looks. The audio was presented in stereo English and had little worth mentioning other than you could hear the vocal moans and the music didn't suck as badly as Stanley's usual movies.

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Body of Review: David Stanley has long been something of a mystery to me as he's won awards and entertained at least a few people as an adult director at Vivid these past few years. The mystery for me relates primarily to the nature of his work; the sex scenes he makes are often boring, his writing leaves much to be desired (and let's face it, porn isn't known for solid writing so when it stands out as bad…), and his technical competence is more frequently in question than my own. That's not to say he hasn't made some good porn, just that I wonder what some of you see in his…"talents". Well, Vivid gave him the boot recently and the illustrious Wicked Pictures picked him up in turn. If any company can turn this sows ear into a silk purse, it's Wicked Pictures, but I have my doubts on that too. His latest release for Vivid is Wet Nurse, a movie credited as being made on the same day as Be With Me, using many of the same performers and sets on both movies. The lead role is played by Voodoo, a guy on the edge of sanity (it has long been established that director Stanley puts his own personality into his characters so perhaps he's crying out for help here), and the titled "nurse" by the lovely Savanna Samson. If you're looking for a feature that makes sense, look elsewhere but there were some entertaining moments to watch. Here's a breakdown of the scenes by cast and action, noting that the usual impediments to heat existed:

Scene One: Kimberly Kane, a blonde new comer with a growing following in porn for her look and sexual skill, and the mighty Evan Stone, were up first in a scene centering on a small diner. The sex looked edited in that it started well into the scene and they weren't really doing much more than oral and vaginal sex but I have to hand it to them; they were energetic. She could've lost a couple of pounds but otherwise was attractive and I didn't waste my time watching the scene here.

Scene Two: Savanna Samson, the lead hotty of the movie as displayed on the front DVD cover, and porn veteran Steven St. Croix, were up next in a hospital scene. His fake accent was funny (certainly funnier than Stanley's talking pants bit prior to this scene) but the sex was kind of standard. They each did oral to the other (hers was decidedly erotic though) before they boned in bed at the hospital but even in the doggy position (where she looked great) or cowgirl (loved that ass bouncing), the scene lacked the kind of passion I like seeing from her. It ended with a pop shot to her chest but some of the camera angles made me wonder if someone dropped the ball.

Scene Three: Nicole Sheridan, always a treat to watch, even when she's told to affect a silly accent in bed for a scene, and her real life husband Voodoo, dressed in a paramilitary outfit that looked like it was from off the rack at Walmart, were next up in the movie. I doubt they could ever make a scene where their chemistry didn't shine forward and her energy was decent, if not her best. The way the sex incorporated some of the plot into the scene was weak but I'd be lying if I said I thought the scene was as bad as it could have been. The ending pop shot to her crotch did seem to weaken it though (and I'm not really into facials).

Scene Four: Savanna Samson, looking even better this time, had sex with Rick Patrick in his small office after playing footsie under the desk. He went down on her with the vigor that I'd show if given the chance and she appeared to enjoy it more than a little. They screwed on the desk with the usual condom but she seemed more into the action this time (in each of the positions here) but the positions weren't as flattering so it was a toss up as to what worked better. It ended with a facial for those who care.

Scene Five: Savanna Samson, after giving an off screen screw to Voodoo (which made no sense at all to me seeing as this was a porno), instead had some lesbian fun with the lovely Tory Lane in a hospital storage room. While Tory is too lean for me, the couple seemed to work well in all aspects of the scene from the licking, rubbing and toy use employed here. Of all the scenes in the movie, this one at least appeared to be well shot on a technical level, and the energy was evident throughout the scene.

Summary: Wet Nurse was far from the worse movie I've seen from director David Stanley although I think Vivid will fare much better without him in coming years. The plot was as crazy as the lead character was made out to be and the sex was often limited in terms of heat and energy; even with a cast as solid as this one. I think the rating of this one could be generously given as a Rent It to couples less interested in the story and more interested in one another (glancing up at the television while this one is playing for the occasional peek) but if this was all the director could come up with for his employer, it's no wonder they canned him. Fans of Savanna Samson will appreciate her leggy, attractive presence in much of the movie but other than that, there wasn't a whole lot to appreciate most of the time.

For better choices in porn, check out: 2004's Top Porn List and 2003's Top Porn List.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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