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Can You Be A Pornstar? Episodes 5&6

Studio: Hustler Video » Review by Saul Good » Review Date: 4/30/05

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Genre: Reality Game show/Pay-Per-View

Director: Faye Kneighm

Cast: Tabitha Stevens, Mary Carey, Dr. Ava Cavell, Ginger Lynn, Ivy, Malie, Dusty, Camille, et.al.

Length: 2hrs 44 min

Production Date: Hustler, 2003

Extras: -=Chapter Selection With Scene Access=- -=Gallery=- -=Trailers=- -=Spam=-

Audio/Video: The Audio of the film is presented in 2.0 as expected. The sound is just under par with the typical television program. There is a consistent muffle and at times speech gets lost. The Video is Full Frame Color and is nothing extraordinary.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: Hustler's Pay-Per-View reality series continues here on DVD with volumes 5 and 6 where young, gorgeous ladies compete with one another in a variety of challenges to win a contract with VCA Pictures and $100,000.

Show 5:

Show 5 has the contestants narrowed down to 4 lovely ladies. The interesting thing about this, particularly having not seen previous episodes, is that these women already look like adult starlets. They have comfortableness with the camera and they carry themselves as though they've been through this before. (Not to mention the DVD box states that "Many girls have appeared in adult movies, including some in this video...." What a rip-off! Not only do the girls already look the part they are competing for, but the show blatantly admits to it. Then of course, reality TV turned away from being "real" long after the first season of "Survivor," so why should this show be any different.

After a slow start that seems redundant since this is the fifth episode, the girls are introduced: Camille is a 25 year old skinny, brunette from the Czech Republic. Ivy is an all-American girl with blond hair. She is 23 and from California. Lilian, another thin, brunette, is from Tempe, Arizona and is 20 years old. And lastly, Dusty is 19 and from Akron, Ohio. These are the last remaining girls, and as the voice over tells us, they will be living in a mansion "somewhere in California" where they will eat, sleep and play with each other. Mary Carey, that busty governor-wanna-be, invites them into the house and--over champagne, how nice--asks each of them why they want to be porn stars. The girls are given their welcome presents, butt plugs, dildos and whips and other "freaky shit" and then they go their bedroom for their first challenge.

Explaining the first challenge gives plenty of insight into how the other challenges play out. It is a disappointment on so many levels. Firstly, there is the video. The show is color for the most part, but it makes use of the black and white when the girls are 'sharing' with the camera or at various moments of a scene. Truthfully, this is annoying, because it is not used as it is intended--to signify a moment of reflection or revelation (i.e. the girls talking in retrospect about what we are seeing within the scene). Rather, it is used about every 10 seconds for god knows what reason. Secondly, Mary Carey dominates the scene as an overzealous host. She tries to get the girls to play 'truth or dare' but she's so hyper and juvenile sounding "I just came up with a great game! It's called let's write down and see if we can all figure out who we slept with!" After 2 minutes of this I'm already tired and she's still the only one with her top off. Finally, the girls begin to undress, but doing so has nothing to with the game, and I can't help but wonder, "what's the point?" I'm all for mindless nudity, but not when I've been expecting something else. It is nice to see some of the cute, slim-bodied girls lying casually naked, but again, the shifts to black and white footage and Carey's yap-yap is grating.

The show then turns to "Centerfold Moments" a few brief minutes spent with each girl, highlighting their physical attributes. This is nothing more than a soft-core strip tease. It is nice, seeing the ladies strip to nothing, but it is shot with quick cuts, pans and care--there are no close-ups and only occasionally do we see anything as revealing as a glimpse of someone's pussy. I'm reminded of those "Wet and Wild" or "Women in Uniform" flicks Playboy puts out. Some decent showcasing of the girl's bodies, but nothing terribly exciting.

Following this the girls undergo a number of challenges all judged by porn icons Ginger Lynn and Amber Lynn and porn agent John Steven. The games range from Pin-the-Tail In the Porn Star to assorted feet rubbing and breast licking. This is a great idea; I mean come on a nude, blindfolded girl stumbling around trying to shove a dildo up one of three other gals--who wouldn't want to see that!). But there is no penetration, not even close. When the girl gets the plug near the area, the camera becomes shy. This is how all the other games play out, some uneventful foreplay that is shown as nothing more than heavy petting.

Dr. Ava, a clinical sexologist, the girls some advice that will prep them for being a porn star. They reveal their 'special, sexual talent' and other advice that does nothing in the excitement department. There is an assortment of dildos and toys on the table, and occasionally the gals pick them up, but they are never put to use, which is what I was hoping for the entire time. Sex scenes follow, between the girls or with the use of some random stud, but don't expect anything too grand. The vocals are drowned out by the music and a thigh or strategically placed forearm conceals their wedding tackle. Following the scenes, the judges analyze the footage and make comments on the girl's performances.

Show 6:

Show 6 is pretty much the same, but includes different women. There's Sabrina, a husky blonde from Orange County; Jassie, an adorable, small-breasted girl with a great smile; Corina another hottie with a thin, smoking body from Little Rock; Jacqueline a 19 year old Californian with a gothic look. Episode 6 follows pretty closely to Episode 5: the girls have a slumber party, do their profiling stripteases, visit with Dr. Ava and compete in Sex Challenges. Again the challenges are pretty lacking--massaging another girl's body and squeezing their breasts for the judges. The women perform in their own sex scenes and again the judges critique them. What I liked about this episode is about what I enjoyed with number 5--seeing the girls standing around naked, doing casual things like eating pizza or just waiting for their turn at the challenges. The sex scenes were decent and mildly exciting, but I've seen steamier ones late at night on Cinemax


Concluding Words: This production was a good idea. While watching it, I kept thinking of ways it could have been so much better. Most of the girls are very good looking, attractive with stellar bodies. I was particularly fond of Jassie and Daisy and enjoyed seeing them the most. But they were put through such silly challenges and wasted space (the Dr.'s advice and the slumber party for example). Some of the disc was exciting, such as the pin-the-tail game, but these moments faltered in the way the program was filmed--for television and therefore with heavy edits and distance. I liked the premise behind this, but it was too obviously a shtick from the beginning. A title like Slumber Party 18 essentially does the same things, but the girls there are freer, enjoying themselves and not being showy. So, I'd say you should rent this if you've kept with the series and just can't live without seeing the rest. Otherwise, I'd say Skip It because there's too much of nothing here. See Don's Review for another, yet similar, opinion.


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