GENRE: Gonzo Feature
DIRECTOR: Seymore Butts
STARS: Alisha Klass, Taylor Hayes, Shane, Bridgett Kerkove, McKayla Matthews, Seymore Butts
DATES OF PRODUCTION: Various
LENGTH: 150 mins with bonus material
Over the course of two plus seasons on Family Business, and numerous adult entertainment titles, we have seen Adam Glasser, a.k.a. Seymore Butts, do a lot of interesting things. He has approached dildo manufacturer Doc Johnson about starting his own line of sex toys. He has helped both camera man/editor Bishop and the loveable Cousin Stevie start their own line of suck and fuck films. He's wooed Jesse Jane and fallen for his assistant Myrna, a.k.a. Mari Possa. And he's filmed a shit load of smoldering pornography. But unless you are an aficionado of his film catalog, and have seen everything he has ever made or been a part of, you probably haven't seen him in very many sex scenes.
Mr. Butts has taken a decidedly behind the scenes role in this, the middle part of his career. Since becoming one of the premier gonzo directors and distributors in the smut trade, we have seen very little of Seymore's shaft, and even less of it rocking the Casbah. Well, for those who've longed to observe this mop topped titan back in the booty saddle where he belongs, you're in luck. Seymore Butts' I Did Her My Way, in keeping with his company's recent concentration on the compilation, collects several Seymore-only scenes from the Butts' canon, and delivers them in a non-linear, non-pseudo-storyline manner. As a showcase for our star's penis power, this is a pretty good set. But once again, it's the ladies that steal the show, especially two infamous gals who made their careers in the care of Seymore's films.
Get ready for the Alisha and Taylor show, as I Did Her My Way offers up four scenes filled with balls to the wall boning and more than a little she-squirting. Indeed, if you leave with a single impression from this quartet of quackenbush, it will be that Ms. Klass is one liquid lady. She exudes enough pussy potion and cunt Kool-aid to drown several small children. During the course of this better than average compilation, Alisha showers, sprays, oozes, seeps, weeps, flows, fulminates and pops like a hardcore Old Faithful. There is definitely not a dry seat in the Butts residence when this gal is done gushing. Along with a nice tropical take from Taylor (and Ms. Hayes own version of vaginal sprinkling), and a banging four-way with Brittany and McKayla, we have a very good, very erotic piece of porn. And for those who long for Seymore's schlong, you get quite a bit of that mottled boner too.
Since there is no storyline here, just scenes from previous Butts' titles, there is no need to go into the narrative. Let's just start with the first scene, to see if the XXX here is really worth your time:
Scene 1: Alisha Klass, Seymore Butts
Acts Performed: Masturbation, Anal Butt Plug Play, Anal Fingering, Tit Sucking, Cunnilingus, Squirting, Tongue Fucking, Straight, More Squirting, Pussy Juice Drinking, Straight Anal, More Squirting, $hot in Mouth, Oral Clean-Up
Over the course of the Dirge's critical career, he gets the distinct impression that, when Seymore and Alisha were a "couple" (either professionally or personally), life was one non-stop fuck fest. Either Ms. Klass is the hottest piece of pussy this side of the Iron Curtain, or she's a great friggin' actress. Whatever the case may be, she really sells the ride here, making us believe that every potent vaginal emission she exudes is part of some passionate porking. The reason the scene doesn't rate a higher score, however, comes from the fact that most of the meat to mons merriment is captured in a Seymore sightline/first person POV camera style. As a result, angles are odd and the ability to witness the wantonness is slightly undermined. There are lots of guarantees in gratuity, and along with the lady coming up next, Alisha is a certified cock knocker. She also does a damn fine job on the fans' fleshy bits as well. Score: 7.5 out of 10
Scene 2: Taylor Hayes, Seymore Butts
Acts Performed: Masturbation, Vibrator Action, Anal Tonguing, Anal Toy Action, Pocket Rocket Fun, Vaginal Fingering, Squirting, Blow Job, Ball Action, Tit Fucking, Doggy, Anal Fingering, Hair Pulling, Anal Doggy, $hot on Face
-- sponsored by --
From Seymore Butts' Monkey Business (1996)
The setting – a tropical beach somewhere in a palpable paradise – is perfect. The female partner is also flawless. The Dirge has long been a fan of Ms. Hayes hard-on production porn power, and she does not disappoint here. What does undermine the XXX-cstacy – yet again - is the camerawork. Seymore's depth perception must be off, or his obvious infatuation with Taylor's noticeable assets must be fogging his viewfinder, since a lot of what we see here is far too up close, too tight, and occasionally out of focus. When he does get the balance right, we are treated to a steaming hot bit of Caribbean carnality (or it could be Pacific pussy pounding, who knows). The scene is actually divided into two parts. Taylor masturbates her way through the first section. The minute Seymore's peter pops into frame, we are dealing with another day, another set up (it's clear in the text-based framing material). Had Bishop been along to capture the fuck in the sun fun, this would have been a great sequence. As it stands, it's just very good. Score: 7.5 out of 10
Scene 3: Shane, Seymore Butts
Acts Performed: Blow Job, Ball Action, Cowgirl, Doggy, $hot in Mouth
Poor, poor Shane. She just can't compete with the other gals in this film. She is definitely no Alisha or Taylor, and we will soon learn (from the next scene, actually) that she's really no Brittany or McKayla either. Her history as one of Seymore's first finds (and partners) is commendable, but this sequence is not one of her best. Shane appears half asleep, sans make-up, and looking much the worse for wear here. There is not a lot of erotica to be found in early morning wake-up sex – especially if, like Seymore, you're probably filming it in real time. Again, the first person perspective really doesn't work (too many shots of Shane's mid-back), the color correction is crappy (the video is all washed out) and the lack of actual anal really detracts from the purported passion. On the plus side, it's a rather short scene. Score: 5.5 out of 10
Scene 4: Alisha Klass, Bridgette Kerkove, McKayla Matthews, Seymore Butts
Acts Performed: Masturbation, Toy Time, Toy V to M, Squirting, Lesbian Action, Anal Fingering, Fountain Flowing, 3 Way BJ, Ball Action, Cowgirl, Snatch Spraying, More Toy Time, Anal, Gaping, Additional Reverse Douching, $hot in Mouth with Oral Clean-up
From Seymore Butts' Thighs Wide Open (1999)
Obviously saving the best – and moistest – for last, I Did Her My Way features a rather potent example of how to become dehydrated during sex. In the past, Alisha Klass has proven rather skilled at delivering the womb water. Give her a couple of fingers, the patented 'come hither' motion and about 10 seconds, and she'll turn all Trevi on you. But nothing can prepare you for the sheer volume of vaginal volcanics here. The final shot of the scene tells it all. Seymore and the ladies look over their bawdy bed, only to find the kind of stains and wet spots you expect to see in an old folks home for the terminally incontinent. Alisha squirts so much, that her liquid leanings almost steal the sequence away from the rest of the sex. Luckily, McKayla and Bridgette aren't about to take a backseat to bush basting, and really turn up their T&A game.
There is more self-satisfaction than Seymore in this scene as well. The first 2/3rds of the action revolves around the ladies pleasuring themselves with all manner of faux phalluses, with a roving Butts camera capturing the action. Once Seymore dives in, we are treated to some decent POV for once, but we do miss out on some of the girl/girl goings-on in the background. Since all three gals really play up the porn, the heat is hefty and turned up to 10. With just a little more 3rd party perspective, this could have been a classic. As it stands, it's just an excellent hardcore happening. Score: 8.5 out of 10
It's interesting how a title advertised as featuring "Seymore" in every scene can actually be viewed as a highlight reel for his honeys, not him. Indeed, if we are to judge Adam's XXX skills based on this film, we can honestly say that he delivers a good dicking, and is rather robust in his orgasmic vocalization. But Mr. Butts is no Randy Spears or Evan Stone. He has no dynamic beyond the gonzo realm. He is perfect for amateur antics – and his real life role on Family Business – but there is very little to recommend him from a ribaldry standpoint.
Thankfully, his girls more than make up for his lack of log jamming. It is obvious that the Butts industry was built on the backs...and the asses...and the snatches of Shane, Alisha and Taylor. You won't find a combo of cunt this sexually fascinating in any other back catalog of carnality. Each one appears completely tapped into their own inner needs and make it a point to fulfill them over and over again. The camera, even in crappy POV mode, just eats them up and they never fail to fulfill the hardcore promise of a scene. Fans of these three female freaks will certainly enjoy this crazy corporeal collection – even if Shane's work is weak, at best.
As a handheld camera creation with very little post-production work (except for the ever more tacky title sequences), the 1.33:1 full screen image does have a few focus issues and obvious grain. Seymore sometimes shoots when available light is at a minimum and the tell tale gray specs of tanking technology are occasionally viewed. Editing is also a little suspect from time to time, but nothing so horrible as to hinder the hardcore. Still, the overall transfer is good – though far from great - and even with all the POV predictability, this is a bright, colorful collection of sex scenes.
Utilizing the internal mic in his camera, Seymore barely captures the conversations occurring during I Did Her My Way. Sometime, the dialogue drops out. Then there are times when Mr. Butts is taking a more Q&A approach to the recording, and when he does, the exchange of words comes in loud and clear. The sounds of sex are also highlighted in the Dolby Digital Stereo presentation, so we never miss a moan or misinterpret an orgasmic ovation.
The bonuses here are kind of a cheat. We get trailers (ho hum), a webpage ad featuring Alisha (who last time anyone checked, wasn't part of the Butts clan any more) and a few other unimportant offerings (photo gallery, 800 number ad, ZZZZZZ). At least we get an additional sex scene, one that's not as good as most of the other offerings on the disc:
Alisha Klass, McKayla Matthews, Seymore Butts
Act Performed: Pot Smoking, Masturbation, Blow Job, Ball Action, Anal Doggy, A to M, Alternating A to M, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Squirting, $hot in Mouth
From Seymore Butts' Mission to Uranus (2000)
As a bonus scene, this is pretty fundamental. The most intriguing part is the whole pot party dynamic before the actual sex begins. Seymore and the gang appear to be lightweights in the weed department, as one or two puffs off a small spleef and they act like they're flying. As for the sex, it's rather routine. Alisha has to squirt just to keep things interesting. McKayla is not as active here as she is in Scene 4, and even Mr. Butts' camerawork appears affected by the consumption of Chronic. All dope delights aside, this is an uneventful bit of suck and fuck. Score: 5.5 out of 10
Perhaps one of the reasons why we've seen less and less of Seymore in sex scenes is because the director knows the limitations of said logistics. Maybe, thanks to success, he is able to finally afford the going rate for professional meat puppets. Perhaps his passion for Myrna/Mari has corralled his carnal knowledge. Whatever the case may be, I Did Her My Way is a first rate clip collection, sullied by a single underdeveloped scene. On the Disco Dirge Peter Meter, this title rates a solid 7 out of 10 and is definitely recommended. The reason for avoiding a "higher" rating is two-fold: (1) the lack of significant added content on the DVD and (2) the paltry POV aspects of the filmmaking. Otherwise, couples will enjoy this exciting trip into the wonders of the sexual waterfall. Therefore, a Cohabitation Certification is warranted, and awarded. So the next time you are wondering to yourself why the head honcho himself isn't starring in more of his movies, you can put on I Did Her My Way and find out. Seymore Butts is, without a doubt, one of the best gonzo filmmakers in the adult industry. But as a fuck frontman, he's less than successful.