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Where The Boys Aren't #2

Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 6/7/05

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Where The Boys Aren't 2: Shipwrecked Showgirls

Vivid Entertainment

Genre: Lesbian

Director: Paul Thomas (under his alias "Judy Blue")

Cast: Barbara Dare, Jamie Summers, Deidre Holland, Cheri Taylor, Kelly Royce
Non-sex role by: Cal Jammer, Nick Murder

Length: 78 minutes

Date of Production: 1990

Extra's: There were none on this vintage DVD release, not even the advertised trailers (called "previews") or photogallery.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Where The Boys Aren't 2 was presented in the same 1.33:1 ratio full frame color it was directed in by Paul Thomas for Vivid so many years ago. The levels of grain were very high, the colors accurate, and the ultra low budget sets comical but it was the lack of variety in the scenes and the lame composition of the shots that most fans of porn will recognize as the weak points here. The DVD mastering seemed problematic at times too since I saw numerous compression artifacts and the age of the source material didn't help any either. The monaural soundtrack had droning music, as expected, and the vocals were handled in the same fashion all movies back then seemed to be; without a boom microphone. In short, the vocals were rarely heard at optimal levels and what could be heard was hollow to the point I wondered if they were dubbed.

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Body of Review: Revisiting older porn can be a pain in the ass since so much of it suffers by comparison to the better works of recent productions. I don't mind the pubic hair, the lack of budgets (well, not too much), and the incredibly lame acting so much as the lousy technical values most older titles have. I'm not talking about the golden age of porn, before the advent of videotape, here so much as the way anyone with a videocamera could toss in a tape and make money with a good box cover. Such was the case with Where The Boys Aren't 2: Shipwrecked Showgirls, not exactly a sequel to Where The Boys Aren't 1 other than in theme. The movie started off with crummy credits over a toy boat in a plastic tub with the label P.T. 1990 on it (obviously referring to director Paul Thomas and the year it was made since he didn't direct under his "real" name). The set was about the size of a small room, with a painted tarp for the ocean and horizon, a few fake rocks and some sand with fake trees. Unlike modern volumes in the series like Where The Boys Aren't 16, the budget on this one was probably as big as the catering budget on a current Vivid release. Is it any wonder this was released as part of a four movie on one VHS tape a number of years back? Anyway, if you're a fan of the cast, read on but this really stretched my taste for lesbian porn to the breaking point (I like lesbian porn but only when done properly):

Scene One: Barbara Dare, my main reason for picking this one up, began the sexual aspect of the show by diddling herself, supposedly while sitting up asleep, on a fake rock. The other gals watched her and seemed to enjoy the action but they didn't do anything about it and the scene was very limited with regard to what took place and only huge fans of the lady will care to watch it more than once. The other gals; Jamie Summers, Deidre Holland, and Jamie Summers than started jilling themselves but no one went at it with another gal, limiting the heat of the action.

Scene Two: Cheri Taylor and Barbara Dare, the gals on the middle and right hand side of the front DVD cover, were up next after they became acquainted on a wooden pallet. There was a lot of rubbing and going down on one another but there wasn't a bunch of toy use as expected (I like some toy use in a lesbian scene). I thought they had fun with one another but I didn't think it was conveyed very well by the camera angles and lousy music. At least it ended with a passionate kiss between the gals.

Scene Three: Jamie Summers and Deidre Holland, looking similar to the other gals, had the following scene on a big rock where they seemed to do the same basic sex acts as the previous scene. I'm not going to say it was lame to watch but it sure didn't show a lot of creativity on the part of the cast or director. The vast majority of the action was muff diving for those who care.

Scene Four: Kelly Royce, Jamie Summers, Deidre Holland, Barbara Dare, and Cheri Taylor, were up next in the big orgy finale scene. Kelly was a member of the local Club Med and stumbled across the gals due to their nonexistent signal fire. While they all paired off (to some extent), there was some interaction yet this introductory scene of Kelly's had her mostly masturbating and that kind of sucked. The action didn't appear to be any more heated than the other scenes, didn't use the variety of toys that were introduced earlier, and was more of the same if that makes sense.

Summary: Where The Boys Aren't 2 was pretty tame and limited compared to most modern releases and will only appeal to huge fans of the cast that are now mostly long forgotten in a world where the career span of the gals is measured in months. I'm rating it as a Skip It primarily due to the way it lacked replay value, had lame production values, was so sexually limited, had no extras, and cost so much. In short, you can do better for your hard earned money with numerous other Vivid releases that focus on lesbian action. Keep in mind that the DVD cover advertised a photogallery and trailers yet had neither, something indicative of the manner they released this one (with little care).

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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