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Two Hot

Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 6/8/05

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Two Hot


Genre: Feature

Director: Paul Thomas

Cast: Lacey Love, Lyndsey Love, Joelean, Alex Divine, Jean Val Jean, Jack Lawrence, Nikki Hunter, Tyla Wynn, Evan Stone, Veronica Jett, Scott Nails, Rick Patrick, Austin Kincaid, Trent Tesoro
Non-sex roles by: Paul Thomas, Shylar Cobi, Steven St. Croix, Chris Cannon, most of the crew (and even a few porn world reporters if you believe the gossip columns)

Length: 87.5 minutes

Date of Production: 1/20/2005

Extra's: My favorite extra was the 17.5 minute long Behind the Scenes feature that gave several of the cast and crew a chance to shine. I wish there was more to it but it added some value in my book. There were also five bonus scenes from past Vivid releases by they weren't related to these in any significant way. The other extras were fairly generic, including; a double sided DVD cover, two photogalleries, a positions room, some trailers, and the usual spam that forcibly plays at the beginning of the DVD.

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: Two Hot was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color it was shot in by director Paul Thomas for Vivid Entertainment. With so much riding on the "twin" angle, you'd think veteran director Thomas would have crafted this one as nicely as possible but that wasn't the case here. There was a whole lot of grain, poor lighting, video noise, and even substantial portions of the movie that were out of focus. Heck, in the fourth scene, there was even something attached to the bottom of the camera lens that stuck out like a sore thumb! I'm not one to bag on a movie endlessly but there's a reason why no one's reviewed this title anywhere else yet: it looked worse than pretty much any feature from Vivid I can recall in recent years. The stereo audio was a bit hollow and the echoes were distracting but the general sound quality was about average for a Vivid release made on a low budget.

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Body of Review: There are times when I want a movie to succeed so badly that I can almost taste it and anything having twins stands to become such a movie. Vivid's latest release, Two Hot, was the latest movie using the gimmick of twins, in this case the twins being Lyndsey Love and Lacey Love, in an effort to generate some interest. The story was a take off of the cable channel E! biographies that serve as exposes for semi-celebrities, in a thinly veiled spoof of the twins from the old hit television series, Full House. In the TV show, the twins were the now famous Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen while in the movie; they were Missy and Becky Wilson from the show Family Jewels. In general, the gals looked like regular performers although thanks to the camera work, I got to see plenty of stretch marks on them that I somehow doubt the Olsen sisters have. My biggest disappointment is the way in which this movie looked thrown together, especially since I'm well acquainted with the technical skills of the crew (they've worked on scores of movies before, all of them better than this). If you're still interested in the movie, here's a breakdown of the scenes by cast and action, noting that the sex was fairly mundane in most cases and condoms were used all over the place:

Scene One: The Hot Spot: The first scene was an orgy of sorts at a local club turned art gallery. Lyndsey Love and Lacey Love started off by doing Jean Val Jean as Alex Devine did Jerry, and Joelean diddled herself in plain view. The twins split up and the partners seemed to fluidly move about as they sucked and fucked one another. I'm pretty sure I saw Bella Starr, Jack Lawrence and Jamie Lynn in the background but the editing was so bad that it wasn't easy keeping track of the many players (and there were a huge number of so-called non-combatants in the scene standing around getting in the way).

Scene Two: Gina, Lydia & Bob: Nikki Hunter, a curvy blonde gal that has been making some waves in the porn world of late, Tyla Wynn, a gal that could be the sister of Alex Divine, and the mighty Evan Stone were up first in the living room. Initially, Nikki and Evan went at it with him rubbing her the right way while he sat in a chair. Seeing as how wet he made her, it seemed only right that she'd give him some superior oral, gagging and licking him before sucking his balls. Nikki then took to the boning well, even doing anal when Tyla joined them to lick her crotch as Evan slammed it home in her back door. Tyla then got in on the anal, using her vocal manner to coax out a load from him. It ended with the gals licking his load off their faces and kissing; showing a measure of heat that put the first scene to shame.

Scene Three: Del Rey Trio: Veronica Jett, a skinny brunette new to porn, Lyndsey Love, the wicked half of the fictional characters played by the twins, and Scott Nails, were up next on a chair in a secondhand store where the twins were signing autographs. Lyndsey was the first of the trio to get undressed but the gals shared his meat orally like swell friends would do for one another. Lacey kind of masturbated in the corner as she watched while Lyndsey was getting nailed by Scott (pun intended) in a couple of positions. Veronica also got some meat but she didn't look too happy about it and neither of the gals did much with the other. It ended when Scott rubbed out a load onto their faces and they licked him clean.

Scene Four: Special Delivery: Lacey and Lyndsey Love, the twins, were up next with Rick Patrick, a guy that dwarfed them by a large margin. The gals double teamed his meat and they took turns riding him as the other would lick his balls and penis clean. The gals finally showed some energy here (albeit with minimal chemistry) but the sex showed little creativity, little flare for the dramatic, and even the ending facial won't work for most of you (the technical values were especially poor here with an out of focus camera, tons of grain and video noise, and close ups of their stretch marks making me wonder if someone needs a new prescription for their glasses).

Scene Five: The Little Princess: Austin Kincaid, a hot little brunette with large implants, was up next with Trent Tesoro in a shower scene. The scene was out of focus to the point where I tried it on four DVD players, including my computer, just to make sure it wasn't a problem on my end. It was oral and straight sex only and after taking her to the bed from the shower, he rubbed out a load onto her stomach. The positive news was how energetic she was but the quality of the scene was not as good as it should've been; much like the other scenes here.

Summary: Two Hot introduced Lacey Love, Lyndsey Love, and Veronica Jett to the world of porn so I suppose I can't hate it as much as I want to but the technical matters were so poor as to cause me to search out other players in order to make sure it looked as bad elsewhere. There were some shining moments but they were fleeting (to say the least) and I hope that the twins weren't reaching their full potential if this is all they have to offer. As much as Vivid has made great strides to improve their movies on DVD in recent months, this was definitely a few steps backward; making me wonder if someone WANTED it to fail. I know my hopes were dashed but I'll reserve judgment on the sisters after I see more of them since everyone has a bad day from time to time. Until then, I'm rating this as a Skip It since it even lacked in terms of sexual energy and chemistry most of the time.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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