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F-ing Teens

Studio: Venom » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 6/11/05

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

F-Ing Teens

Exquisite Multimedia/Venom Digital Media

Genre: Gonzo

Director: Jordan Septo

Cast: Karina Kay, Sasha, Lain Oi, Tyce Bune, Teena Fine, Lee Stone, Bailey, Marcos Leon, Kinzie Kenner

Length: 140.5 minutes

Dates of Production: 3/8/2005, 3/10/2005, 3/17/2005

Extra's: The best extra was 28.5 minutes of Behind the Scenes footage (I believe it was done by Gina Lassen). I enjoyed it a whole lot since it gave the performers a chance to discuss things as well as show off their bodies. The only other extras were some trailers, a photogallery and a cum shot compilation but the BTS feature was great.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: F-Ing Teens was presented in the same 1.33:1 ratio full frame color it was shot in by director Jordan Septo for Exquisite Multimedia. The fleshtones were generally solid since the lighting seemed to compensate for the weaknesses of the settings and the amount of grain was minimal. The clarity of the focus was sometimes slightly soft but that could've been an attempt to make a few of the gals look more appealing. The composition of the shots was typically enhancing to the cast as well and while some of the editing could've been tighter, I think some effort went into the movie beyond collecting a check (that's partially supposition though). The audio was about average for a gonzo, with some background noise heard in a few scenes, some hollowness from the cast, and a bit more variation between the vocals of the cast compared to the director than I like.

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Body of Review: If ever there was a concept of keeping up with the Jones' in the world of entertainment, porn would be the place to look; especially gonzo porn. Let's face it, if one director is successful with an act, a setting, type of fetish outfit or formula, a great many others will follow suit in no time at all (and often try to claim credit for "discovering" whatever the idea was, regardless of how long it had been used by others. One of the directors that seems to try new things (sometimes working better than others) is a guy called Jordan Septo. I'm not overly familiar with him and his work (I've seen a few of his movies) and maybe some day I'll find his titles on sale (heck, trying to find some of them in stock can be a challenge) but until then I'll still try to keep an eye out for what he offers up next. His latest release is a title called F-Ing Teens, a movie that used teenage gals as the centerpieces of his formula to tease and titillate the consumer. The gals were not always very skilled at sex (a good thing I'm told by many of you over the years) but they seemed fresher than average and Jordan allowed them enough room to showcase their own flavor rather than just stick to a tightly knit script. If this sounds interesting to you, here's a breakdown of the scenes by cast and actions, noting that no condoms were used in them:

Scene One: Karina Kay, the 18 year old brunette displayed on the front DVD cover, was up first as she initiated the formula for the movie. The general order of operations was to introduce the gal, give her a short interview as she stripped off her clothes and provided some tease material, and then had sex with a partner; in this case, it was Sasha. Her ample breasts seemed to work well for him as he kissed and set her mouth in motion on his penis. She gave a solid blowjob with some sloppy slobber before jumping on it to pump up and down as though possessed. He did some choking (as she asked for) and then he rode her pussy some more with a bit of PTM (pussy to mouth) between positions. She was vocal but the audio was hollow since the acoustics of the room were so bad. It ended when he came in her face with a decent sized climax that went all over the place.

Scene Two: Lain Oi, another 18 year old gal (at least she claimed to be 18 even though she looked to be in her mid twenties) with lighter hair and larger breasts. She wore a white fishnet top and light blue vinyl bra with blue jean shorts and tiny matching panties as she teased the camera. Her face wasn't as pleasing as most of the other gals but she had a pleasant demeanor and quick smile so I suppose it would be safe to say that many of you would prefer her over an ice queen. She followed the same formula and then took on a guy old enough to be her father (or older), Tyce Bune. He felt her up and forced her to do some oral before boning her pussy like he hadn't had any in a long time (that would be a surprise, huh?) and then choked her until her nearly turned purple. That's about where I draw the line so the rest of the scene, as energetic as it was, didn't work for me. There was no chemistry between them and it was almost as if he was trying to punish her for it but she tried to do her best regardless. They boned some more in various positions and she did a lot of PTM before the pop shot that wasn't shown for the camera (maybe he never popped…).

Scene Three: Teena Fine, another 18 year old gal with light hair but with a slightly cuter face and nice body (powerful legs and ass too), claimed to have had about 30 guys in her life as she played with her ponytails. Her body was all natural and the manner in which she played with herself in her break away outfit was pleasing. Her partner was the massive Lee Stone and it almost seemed like she got wet just stoking up on him when he entered the picture. The oral was pretty good, the vaginal even better and the anal even more passionate than that. She did the usual taste testing (PTM and ATM) but it was evident that while she liked Lee, she was also struggling a bit to take him all the way inside her ass too. In all, there was a good level of energy and some solid chemistry between them with the action ending as he popped off onto her face (which she swallowed).

Scene Four: Bailey, a very attractive 18 year old with a little meat on her bones, was up next in a scene that included Marcos Leon. Her breasts were very large (all natural too) and her eyes were extremely pretty so if you like a little junk in the trunk, you'll like watching her in action. She did pretty much everything the others did, from the oral to the vaginal to the anal (adding only a titty fuck for good measure). She seemed less experienced than some of the others but her playful energy added some replay value to the action this time. I hope to see more of her in future releases since she managed to combine just the right amount of various qualities to keep me hard the entire scene. The pop shot went to her mouth and she seemed to begin swallowing but the camera faded away.

Scene Five: Kinzie Kenner, a lean gal with brown hair (and blonde highlights) has been in porn longer than the others but not too long as she showed off her lean body on the couch and stripped to have a scene with the massive Lee Stone. It sure didn't hurt that she was one of the best looking gals of the movie but her all natural body was hot too and I could tell he wanted to tear her up on first sight. He went down on her first, she reciprocated with some skill, and then the two boned in a heated manner. They didn't seem to screw as long as some of the other couples but that may have been because she was so tight. At one point, I thought he was going to lose it early but he held on longer than I could have and eventually popped on her face.

Summary: F-Ing Teens was a title that offered a mixed bag of sexual flavors and for me; it was worth a rating of Recommended. Some of the gals were major hotties and others were very talented at milking a nut but few of them could honestly combine both qualities in ample supply as those in Jordan's other movies have managed to do. I liked the movie and thought it had some nice replay value but the true winners for this one will be guys that like their performers younger than average (but still legal). The extras were good; the technical values enough to earn some measure of praise, and the overall amount of fuck for the buck seemed well above average for those enamored with youthful performers. I guess Septo will be advancing yet another step on his long plan to conquer the world of gonzo porn although maybe not as quickly this time as in some of his other recent releases.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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