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Can You Be a Pornstar? Episodes 7&8

Studio: Hustler Video » Review by Saul Good » Review Date: 6/23/05

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Genre: Reality Game show/Pay-Per-View

Director: Faye Kneighm

Cast: Tabitha Stevens, Mary Carey, Dr. Ava Cavell, Ginger Lynn, Ivy, Malie, Dusty, Camille, et.al.

Length: 2hrs 25 min

Production Date: Hustler, 2004

Extras: Chapter Selection With Scene Access=- -=Contest Recap=- -=Gallery=- -=Trailers=- -=Spam=-

-- sponsored by --

Audio/Video: The Audio of the film is presented in 2.0 as expected. The sound is just under par with the typical television program. There is a consistent muffle and at times speech gets lost. The Video is Full Frame Color and is nothing extraordinary.

Body of Review: Hustler's Pay-Per-View reality series continues with young, gorgeous ladies competing against each other for a contract with VCA Pictures and a $100,000 prize. Episode 8 brings the series to an end and reveals the winner.

The show continues very much like the episodes before, with the invite of new contestants to Mary Carey's house and the distribution of gift baskets. Again, the girls get an assortment of toys and lotions, acting very much like a group of six year olds on Christmas morning. They then head upstairs for a game of truth or dare and, thankfully, Mary Carey is not a participant and clothes come of much more quickly, followed by some dildo play-but remember there's no penetration so everything is blocked or cut. This batch of girls is very attractive. We are introduced to each one of them through the usual interview segment and followed by the "Centerfold Moment," involving each girl doing an individual striptease of sorts. These are hot moments, particularly when the scene is more than just a boring strip (one stunning and skinny girl washes a car as she gets naked). But, of course, the excitement never goes beyond late night Cinemax. And at times the camera is too herky-jerky, panning and zooming too quickly and not allowing the viewer to stay in the moment. The other problematic visuals are also here, and it's probably best to check out my review of the previous episodes to see the specifics-shifting between black and white and color, crappy music, etc). When the game begin we are treated to some fun and funny moments: the topless contestants swinging blindly at a penis-shaped piņata, a silly, inexplicable game of strip cards that, despite the girls being "drunk" fails to be climatic, naked twister. The girls perform scenes with men or each other to show off their porn talent for the judges. There is the usual entertaining segment of two and some of the scenes are rather steamy, despite never quite getting off the ground. But as I said before, where the series falls short is in its validity from the start. Too much is planted and carefully maintained for the show to have any feel of "reality". And the sporadic editing and unfocused direction give everything a disorienting feel making me not really ever care about the girls and only wanting to see what happens next. So by the time the winner is to be announced, I still didn't know the girl's names, not that it mattered. The game is narrowed down to 6 lovely women. Jessica Jaymes's name is pronounced by some dude in a white suit, flowers are given, an electric guitar plays something vaguely patriotic and confetti (is that digital confetti?) falls from the sky. Jessica doesn't have much to say in her acceptance speech, but afterward proudly boasts that she is going to "Rock some cock". Nice.

Concluding Words: Again, this production was a good idea. While watching it, I kept thinking of ways it could have been so much better. Most of the girls are very good looking, attractive with stellar bodies. Some of the disc was exciting, like the games that are played (naked twister and penis piņata) and there is the occasional arousing "Centerfold Moment". But these moments faltered in the way the program was filmed--for television and therefore with heavy edits and distance. I liked the premise behind this, but it was too obviously a shtick from the beginning. When the whole game came to an end and the winner pronounced all I could wonder was how much it cost them to shoot 8 episodes of this? And how many people actually might have kept watching (and paying Pay-per-view) after the first show. Anyone looking for some decent, tamely rated porn and girls playing goofy games you might enjoy this. For most others, we can breathe a little easier knowing the series is finally over. For now. Skip It


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