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What's a Girl Gotta Do?

Studio: Wicked Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 6/30/05

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

What's a Girl Gotta Do?: Director's Cut

Wicked Pictures

Genre: Feature, Comedy

Director: Jonathan Morgan

Cast: Rita Faltoyano, Kelli Tyler, Stormy Daniels, Steven St. Croix, Evan Stone, Nicole Sheridan, Voodoo, Randy Spears, Alexis Malone, Eric Masterson; Cheyne Collins (bonus scene only)
Non-sex roles by: Wankus (the main DJ at KSEX radio), David "Crawdaddy" Crawford (former Wicked Pictures marketing guru)

Length: 149 minutes!

Date of Production: 1/30/2005

Extra's: My favorite extra was the 29.5 minute long All Access: Behind the Scenes of… feature by talented director Mark Stone. There was more sex, posing for pictures, interviews, and a lot of fun in general in this value adding extra. There was a related Blooper Reel lasting about 11 minutes too (these are great for a comedy DVD to have folks). I also liked the hidden Easter Eggs that were usually easy to find ("You Can't Keep A Good Guy Down…" starring David Crawford that lasted nearly minute long or "Evan's Shopping Tips", "It Is Not Possible" with Jonathan Morgan rambling to Rita and Randy). Most of you will actually enjoy the bonus sex scene between Stormy and Cheyne Collins taken from Secrets of the Velvet Ring described below more but I've seen it a bunch so your mileage may vary from mine. Next up were a variety of photogalleries and Star Stats, some trailers to movies like Secrets of the Velvet Ring, Road Trixx, Shameless, and Wicked Sex Party, the usual promo reels, DVD Rom content like the Wicked Casino, desktop pictures, awards and nominations, and such; the Wicked Pictures DVD catalog, some spam, and a cardboard sleeve over the new gray case used by Wicked Pictures to prevent piracy.

Condoms: Yes

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Audio/Video Quality: What's a Girl Gotta Do?: Director's Cut was presented in non-anamorphic widescreen color with an approximate aspect ratio of 1.85:1 as originally shot by director Jonathan Morgan for Wicked Pictures. The box said it was shot and mastered in "High Def" but I think an anamorphic transfer would've had at least as much effect in improving the picture quality as this did. In any case, the picture looked extremely crisp and clear with little grain, no compression artifacts, decent editing, and a careful eye towards the composition of the scenes to enhance the look of the cast. I've seen a lot of feature pornos in the last twenty+ years and this was one of the best looking in many ways (at least for those of us that eschew the weird stylish ramblings of a handful of so-called "arty farty" directors). The DVD mastering was up to the task as well and my impression of the visuals was certainly favorable. The audio was presented with a choice of a 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround English track or a basic 2.0 stereo German track (that I sampled for sake of this review). While the surround track wasn't all that special in terms of separation between the channels, activation of the rear speakers or subwoofer, or even dynamic range; it beat out the German dub hands down. I can't speak to the accuracy of the dub either but it was cute to watch a couple of minutes nonetheless. The vocals were generally crisp too and the music seemed to have been attention to in most scenes, making me wonder why Wicked Pictures doesn't list tracks these days.

Body of Review: Wicked Pictures has long been a leader in the production of porn with a story, typically called "feature" porn that uses acting, scenarios, and all the usual story telling elements in order to appeal to a broader market than your usual gonzo splooge-fest release. This is why the company has employed some of the most talented directors in porn to shoot for them like Brad Armstrong and Jonathan Morgan. Jonathan's latest hit is What's a Girl Gotta Do?, a comedy based on the massive amount of mainstream releases from the mid to late 30's where a gal gets involved in various situations as a result of trying to get ahead at work. While lead performer Stormy Daniels is no Jenna Jameson, she is rapidly building a fan base as a performer, writer and director for Wicked Pictures so with a little more marketing of her unique talents, I could see her making it much bigger than she has so far but this comedy will surely be one more reason for fans to check her out (I just wish she had more sex scenes in the movie). If you like Jonathan's brand of comedy and don't mind safe sex, read the following breakdown of scenes to get an idea of what this director's cut was like, noting it had a lot more material than usual for a feature:

Scene One: Rita Faltoyano, the beautiful foreign hotty well known in porn circles, and curvy Kelli Tyler, were up first in a lesbian scene where the gals used body paint on their bodies in a very erotic manner. While not the best use of Rita's talents, it was a nice way to warm up for the rest of the movie. I remember clearly thinking that if this was the only way they used Rita how pissed I'd be but I gave the movie a chance (since I know Jonathan Morgan's not a screw up). The action was limited to licking and rubbing but the two worked well together and there was some energy to the action.

Scene Two: Stormy Daniels, looking especially attractive in her jeans and sweater, was up next with porn stud Steven St. Croix, on a couch. He immediately went for her breasts and both then did some oral on one another with a little bit of foot fetish action thrown in for good measure before they did the vaginal mambo. At one point, she did some taste testing (PTM: pussy to mouth) but he used a condom so it's not quite the same thing in my book. My favorite position here was doggy style where they were kissing but some of you will hate that the pop shot was not to her face as is the industry standard. The couple were playful and energetic together with some chemistry though, making it a decent scene overall.

Scene Three: Stormy Daniels, looking no less foxy, wore fishnet stockings, matching boots, and a black bra as she walked over to the mighty Evan Stone on the couch. This scene was a little more seductive in my opinion since he took plenty of time kissing her and otherwise making her feel at ease in his presence before he went down on her like the professional that he is. She gave him a somewhat uninspired blowjob though so I was glad it didn't last as long as it could have. The vaginal screwing was pretty heated though, almost as if she wanted to let him rip her in two (see the BTS feature for more information) but was afraid of the consequences of going ahead with it. It ended with a pop shot to her breasts but she cleaned him off PTM style after that.

Scene Four: Nicole Sheridan, the blonde hotty known for some of the most heated performances inside a feature porno, was up next with real life partner, Voodoo, after she got rid of Stormy in the house. While oral and vaginal only, the couple proved that they still have what it takes to ride with energy and chemistry (not to mention passion!) in a feature movie. She was as sexually aggressive as ever and that contributed to the scene's heat for me; proving that anal isn't needed if the couple is hot for one another.

Scene Five: Rita Faltoyano and Kelli Tyler were joined by Randy Spears this time after they tossed him down on the bed and pretty much forced their way with him (I should be so lucky!). I honestly thought this scene would have anal in it but it didn't as the two gals competed in a contest to see who was better sexually. In my book, Rita won out but I'll admit to being biased in her favor as a long time fan. Kelli was also talented with both gals giving (and receiving) oral before taking Randy's penis like the champions they were. There was some taste testing but in all, it was a couples friendly version of the scene it "should have" been.

Scene Six: Alexis Malone, wearing a French maid outfit, took care of Eric Masterson in a bed. He was portraying a geek in the movie (doing as good a job as anyone I've ever seen doing so; reminding me of several porn reviewers I've known over the years) and she found something about him particularly appealing so she gave him that extra special cleaning maids that want tips are known to do. Like the other scenes, it was oral and vaginal sex only but they actually shared some chemistry together and she was more talented than I think most critics have recognized so the scene was another well done tryst; ending with a facial and cleanoff.

Bonus Scene: Secrets of the Velvet Ring: Stormy Daniels, looking extremely fine, was dressed in a green dress that hugged her every curve as she slummed it up with aging lothario Cheyne Collins, in an auto repair garage. They engaged in some heated foreplay before slowly disrobing one another, with each spending some time going down on the other to get hard or wet. It was far too short for my tastes and the action was limited but I'd be lying if I said I'd tire of seeing her in action any time soon. It ended with the usual pop shot to her mouth and chest but it wasn't her best work.

Summary: What's a Girl Gotta Do?: Director's Cut was one of my favorite Wicked Picture releases of the last year, having a great cast, lots of fuck for the buck, a nice selection of value adding extras, and some solid heat between the cast as they did what they do best. The story wasn't exactly Jonathan Morgan's best to date but he handled the entire show in a very capable manner with tremendous replay value for both the sex and non-sex aspects of the DVD. I wish he was making more movies since the last few years have seen him far less busy but hopefully movies like What's a Girl Gotta Do?: Director's Cut will appear more frequently in the future. Is there any doubt that this one earned a rating of Highly Recommended?

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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