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Kill Girl Kill

Studio: VCA » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 7/5/05

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Kill Girl Kill

VCA Pictures

Genre: Vignette

Director: Eon McKai

Cast: Veronica Jett, Kurt Lockwood, Katrina Kraven, James Deen, Gia Jordan, Mya Rose, Brooklyn, Trent Soluri, Zoe Matthews, Benny Profane

Length: 110.5 minutes

Date of Production: 1/15/2005

Extra's: For my money, the best extra was the audio commentary track by director Eon McKai and several of the cast/crew. He seemed the most "in the know" about everything but this return to providing commentary tracks by VCA is a pleasant change from their recent focus on compilations. It wasn't as good as some of the dearly departed Jim Holliday tracks by the company but it did manage to provide some laughs and background data (not to mention solid cast identities which certainly helped me write this review). The next best extra on the DVD was easily the 9+ minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Alice Suicide. While most of it was fluff and filler, there were a few highlights with the gals in various states of undress to appreciate. There were some trailers, a section where you could pick out that gal you liked and go straight to particular sex acts with her (often incorrectly called a fetish menu), and that was it.

Condoms: None

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Audio/Video Quality: Kill Girl Kill was presented in the same 1.33:1 ratio full frame color it was shot in by director Eon McKai for VCA Pictures. Apart from two scenes, the movie looked grainy, video noise ridden, and had substantial issues with the way in which the scenes were composed (making the gals look substantially worse than they should have). The first and last scenes looked the worst, intentionally if you believe the audio commentary, much like a tape that was dropped in a vat of acid and left overnight to dry. I've heard many good things about Eon's first release but if it looks as bad as this one did in spots, I won't be buying it any time soon (even though it has Katja Kassin in it). There's a difference between artistic, edgy, and otherwise stylish work and just plain lousy; guess which heading this DVD falls under. The stereo audio was also kind of weird with hollow vocals, no substantial separation between the channels, and limited dynamic range but the part that some of you will absolutely hate will be the musical score. It was bad enough to make me want to hear some of Paul Thomas' droning 70's music (we're talking lame folks!).

Body of Review: VCA was long one of my favorite feature porn producers in the good old days. Way ahead of the curve, they offered fun movies by Jim Holliday, well done stories by Veronica Hart, and some very interesting artistic features by Antonio Passolini among their usual contract fluff pieces. These days, the company seems to be releasing primarily compilations or contracting out the directing work to fledgling directors as they grasp at threads to restore their once bright name on the marquee of the porn world. Sadly, their latest release, Kill Girl Kill, was pretty weak, despite the advance press by AVN. Why doesn't it work most of the time you ask? Well, there was nothing other than two decent scenes on the plate would be the primary reason it failed. The use of a certain style in three scenes to make the movie look aged sucked donkey balls, the music made me think of what an alien from another world would listen to, and the majority of cast members were gals I wouldn't stick my dick in if it were on fire. If not for Katrina Kraven and Gia Jordan's participation in the movie, I'd have petitioned for a new rating the negative equivalent of the Collector rating so favored by top of the line companies as there was about as much "edge" as a razor blade dulled by scraping it across a rock. If you're still interested as to what the scenes were about, here's a breakdown of them but until a couple of the scenes make it to the inevitable compilations, don't worry about missing this one.

Scene One: Veronica Jett, a homely brunette with a lean body and what appeared to be a black eye, was up first with Kurt Lockwood. He roughed her up and took her up the stairs to complete his mission of dominating her. I'm not into the choking, slapping or spitting action shown so frequently here but some of you will enjoy seeing a gal with limited curves being made to service a guy. Fans of oral will likely notice the blowjob lasted seemingly forever but it got better as it progressed so that's okay by me. The vaginal screwing was a much more mixed bag in terms of heat and energy since she seemed to turn it on and off as if to jerk the viewer around. It ended after he stepped on her head, she sucked his toe, and he rubbed out a load onto her face.

Scene Two: Katrina Kraven, looking as hot as I've seen her except for a lousy make up job, played around with youthful James Deen; a guy that looked like he had been smacked around in the face (bruised left cheekbone). This scene looked far better on a technical level and I'm not afraid to admit the sex was much more passionate this time from the oral to the boning action she has shown so capable of in the past. This gal did vaginal AND anal with a flair that Veronica will unlikely ever have (either hole); making the scene a very solid one in terms of chemistry and energy. She did the usual taste testing (including ATM) and took his load to her face and upper torso very well. Whew!

Scene Three: Gia Jordan, another real hotty with darker hair and an all natural body, Mya Rose, a gal of mixed heritage with nice curves but lame tattoos (her entire back was covered), and studly Kurt Lockwood were up next. Gia and Kurt made the scene for me, although Gia's salad tossing (rimming Kurt) wasn't all that special, with her energetic bouncing on his knob in her ass. Mya also did anal but everything she did in the movie seemed like a watered down copy of Gia, right down to the tasting of his semen after the pop shot. Gia did get kind of bizarre though when using a straw to inhale some of the semen up her nose (the cum swapping was limited but more natural in that sense). The quality was mixed for the scene but Gia wasn't the problem this time and I'll still be looking for her work in the future.

Scene Four: Brooklyn, another all natural brunette with a lean body but too many gross tattoos, was up next with boyish Trent Soluri in another scene that looked like crap. She looked much like a gal you'd find outside a methadone clinic waiting for her fix, a look that may well appeal to some of you if you enjoy the trashy looking street whore look. This shouldn't be taken as a criticism of her look so much as a descriptor for those in search of such a gal to jerk off to but her tattoos alone were enough to drain the blood from my crotch and your mileage may vary. Her oral skills were pretty good (far better than his) but her boning skills were about as exciting as watching paint dry since he did most of the work here. She jerked out a load into her mouth with a little help from him in this mostly lame scene.

Scene Five: Zoe Matthews, a different looking gal wearing the least appealing outfit of the cast (including those cheap $10 sneakers poor people wear), with multiple band aids and a crutch (and some kind of rope tied into her hair), had the next scene with a guy called Benny Profane. He looked like a cross between a wolfman and Mark Wood but had less appeal than either of those characters. It was oral and straight only with about as much energy as a dead battery. In short, they went through the motions as mechanically as possible, leading me to wonder why Eon would include it here (given the sole hit he had Art School Sluts).

Summary: Kill Girl Kill looked bad, had mostly unskilled performers, and sounded nearly as bad as it looked with as little heat as I've seen in a while. My best guess is that you need to be on some kind of mood altering drug (a heavy dose at that) to really appreciate this one since my sober self found it to lack in even the basic aspects needed to work as a stroke flick. It's not bad enough to be good though (I've seen a few of those in my sorted past) so consider this yet another reason why Hustler lost out when they bought VCA several years ago. If you do find something to enjoy (outside of the two scenes mentioned) please email me to tell me why since I found it to be only worth a rating of Skip It.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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