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Dirty Birds

Studio: Vouyer Media » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 7/26/05

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Dirty Birds

Platinum X Pictures

Genre: Gonzo

Director: Tim Von Swine

Cast: Poppy Morgan, Tee Reel, Michelle B., Steve Holmes, Jon Dough, Isabel Ice, John Strong, Randy Spears, Sophie Dee, Alicia Rhodes, Toni Ribas, Robert Rosenberg; Tim Von Swine (bonus scene only)

Length: 141.5 minutes

Date of Production: 3/2/2005

Extra's: The best extra was the short oral only scene between Sophie Dee and director Tim Von Swine. I described it below for those who care but suffice it to say, it was fun. Another decent extra was a 17 minute long Behind the Scenes feature where the cast was given a chance to play around before and after their sex scenes. It was well done and added some value to the DVD package (although Jake Malone looked kind of dumb trying to teach Sophie how to move; I could tell he and Tim were getting pissed off at her resistance to his instructions though). There was also a cumshot recap from the scenes, a photogallery, and some trailers along with the usual double sided DVD cover.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Dirty Birds was presented in the same 1.33:1 ratio full frame color it was shot in by director Tim Von Swine for Vouyer Productions (distributed through Platinum X Pictures). The fleshtones were accurate, the focus solid and lighting pleasing to the eye but the camera movement and composition of some shots did a disservice to some of the gals (optimizing the look of the gals should be job #1 of the director in my opinion). I saw no compression artifacts or video noise though so the only other thing some of you will fuss about is the light watermark in the lower right hand corner proudly displaying Vince's company throughout the scenes and extras (it was smaller and lighter than usual though). The stereo English audio was decent enough but there wasn't a lot of separation between the channels (if any) and the dynamic range was akin to a high end home camera but I could hear all that was said which is appropriate for a gonzo porno.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: In the past year, I've noticed that Red Light District and Platinum X Pictures (both being related on a few levels) have been expanding their directorial pools, trying out new guys to find some new blood. This isn't a slam against their established directors, all of whom have displayed some serious talent in their careers, just a casual observation of the success of the company. Their latest director to make his mark is Tim Von Swine, a guy trying very hard to differentiate his work from that of his colleagues, meeting with some limited success of his own. His latest release is Dirty Birds, a show about gonzo sex with gals from jolly old England, with little thematically linking the scenes together since the gals all had their own limits. It was an overall well received movie in several ways but here's a breakdown of the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used at all here:

Scene One: Poppy Morgan, a cute and lean gal wearing red & black lingerie, was up first to establish the formula where she showed off her lovely body on a bed in a nice teasing fashion before hooking up with Tee Reel. Her playfulness was evident as she appeared to get off by being on camera and I could see why Tim called her "a tasty dish". I would've preferred the director let her do her own thing rather than micromanage her but newer directors have that in common so I can't fault him too much for being a control freak. Otherwise, she paid too much attention to the camera as she blew Tee but she seemed like a skilled fellatrix so I doubt he cared much. He gave her some minor oral in return and then they screwed very passionately (with PTM on her part) with her doing much of the work bouncing up and down on his cock. It ended with a facial and was a decent scene to begin the show with.

Scene Two: Michelle B., the extremely popular 23 year old blonde, was up next as she teased around in her white & black undies. Her throaty voice has long been held in high esteem by fans so it came as no surprise that both Steve Holmes and Jon Dough seemed driven with a need to breed around her. As one of the reigning anal queens, I knew she'd be on the receiving end of some powerful thrusting anal by these two and they didn't disappoint me after she orally prepared them on the couch. The vaginal wasn't anything special but her anal and DP managed to convey a sense of heat few in the jizz biz obtain regularly with some taste testing on regular intervals being standard operating procedure by her. It was a decent scene too if not her best work to date.

Scene Three: Isabel Ice, a cutie becoming more popular every time I see her, was up next as she claimed to be from the "pig pen of Europe" during her interview. Wearing some fairly standard underwear that didn't really show off her body all that much, she has some proven skills and fans of gals with some extra pounds will enjoy her look (she carried it well) as much as John Strong and Randy Spears did. Once they entered the scene, she became quite focused and they took turns on each end with Randy jamming a huge (not exaggerating folks, it was like a baseball bat) dildo up her ass to stretch her out while she blew Jon. She took them in each hole and even did a powerful DP (all with PTM, ATM< and some rough stuff to boot), making her scene one of the best of the show (and that was against, if you'll pardon the pun, some stiff competition). Yum!

Scene Four: Sophie Dee, a 21 year old gal from Birmingham with blonde hair, was up next on a couch with Steve Holmes. I've remarked in the past that she looks like Ginger Spice (see below) but she also looks a lot like a younger Vicky Vette too with similar cheek structure and breasts (hers are real though). By her interview, it sounded like she's nastier in her personal life, unlike the other gals that claimed to be dirtier on camera. For me, that works on a couple of levels but there was some tension on the set seen in the BTS feature that surprised me that it was left in (Jake and Tim were dogging her out for not following their whiny orders, to the point where they threatened to send her home because they couldn't convey the need for better tease footage; the movie ended with a nasty little note about it too). Sexually though, she gave just as good a performance as most of the gals in the movie, blowing Steve with lots of energy and offering up her pussy as though she wanted it. She had some junk in her trunk, like most of the other gals, and could've been slightly more active at times but it was a decent scene too.

Scene Five: Alicia Rhodes, the blonde on the front DVD cover, was well chosen as the gal to bring it all home in this final scene with Manuel Ferrara, Toni Ribas, and Robert Rosenberg as the studs of choice. Those who are unfamiliar with her should know that she's curvy but cute (when she first entered porn, she was substantially heavier) and known as a gal with few limits. The sex this time included all the usual tricks, including a double anal (DAP) in addition to vaginal, anal, DP, PTM, ATM and just about everything else you could ask for. While the list of sex acts gives an indication about the quantity of what she'll do, her personal strength lies in the quality of what she does, showing passion, heat and lots of energy just about every time she's in front of a camera. This scene was no exception and fans will be happy to note she delivered the goods in spite of some weaker than average camera work.

Bonus Scene: Sophie Dee, a gal that reminded me of Ginger Spice of the Spice Girls, was up once more in a short oral only scene with director Tim Von Swine who called her "a good cock sucker". Done in point of view (POV) fashion, she cleaned his pipes nicely and then gave him a short titty fuck before he rubbed out a load into her mouth. It was short but sweet.

Summary: Dirty Birds had two stand out scenes and the others were pretty good too so that made it difficult to properly rate as anything above a Rent it. If you're a fan of the cast, by all means elevate the score I gave it but keep in mind that the sometimes forced nature of the sex and the lack of anything special in most scenes made me hesitant to lean in the higher direction of a recommended. The gals were attractive, were no stranger to cock, and the mixed production values seemed generally decent, if not exceptional but three of the scenes were kind of generic for me so your mileage may vary. The folks at PXP know I hold their work in high regard and I've been very generous to Tim's recent releases, but a rating has to be earned and this one fell a bit short. Check it out though since there was a good bit of shagging worth your time.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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