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ProfessiAnals 8, The

Studio: Hustler Video » Review by Disco Dirge » Review Date: 8/10/05

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

Genre: Straight Feature
Director: Denis Marti
Cast:: Jane Darling, Niki Dark, Angel Dark, Victoria, Daria Glower, Valentina Valasques, Maria Bellucci, Denis Marti, Kid Jamaica
Length: 135 mins
Production Date: July 2005

In a Nutshell - Excellent: Well Done on All Accounts
Obviously trying to mimic the Tarantino/Hong Kong martial arts look of Kill Bill and other hyper-crime stories, The Professianals #8 is superbly shot. The 1.33:1 full screen image is clear, clean and loaded with proper color correction. The actresses look great, the guys give good machismo and the entire production has an aura of class and extravagance.

In a Nutshell - Packed with Tantalizing Tidbits
Though there is not a bonus scene to be found (unless you count a solo shot with Maria Bellucci flicking her privates as added porn), there is still a lot of excellent supplemental material to be found on this disc. There is an interview with Ms. Bellucci, a Behind the Scenes featurette (interesting, even if it is presented in a non-subtitled foreign language) a collection of trailers, a look at the photo shoots involved, an accompanying gallery and some additional Hustler-based merchandising. All in all, a quality collection of additional DVD facets.

First Impressions:
Whatever else you want to call it, The Professianals #8 is hot! This two hour plus tour de force of foreign fuck and suck is simply sizzling. Director Denis Marti (who also stars in four of the five scenes - talk about your double duty) understands how to make porn passionate, and he hires six like-minded ladies to showcase his designs. The results are resplendent. Though the entire crime gang set up is just a joke (Marti and Jamaica are agents sent to infiltrate an elite force of horny hit-girls) it at least gives us a visual theme to play off of. Also, since there is no dialogue, we don't have to worry about piddling plot or exhausting exposition. Instead, we are treated to tremendous tushy trouncing, accented by some of the most potent pussy play around. More or less guaranteed to make your groin grateful, The Professianals #8 is hardcore of the highest level. It's a treat to beat your meat to this terrific kind of carnality.

The Sex:
The set up for each scene is simple: while sneaking around a large mansion, Marti and Jamaica (or both) are caught by some anxious assassins. Instead of killing the boys, however, our gals decide to glory hole them to death. What ensues is five scenes of ferocious fun, dripping with anal goodness and lots of delectable DP action. Individually, each sequence has its selling points. Let's begin with:

Scene 1:Jane Darling, Denis Marti
Acts Performed:Salad Tossing, Cunnilingus, Blow Job, Doggy, Standing 69, V to M, Cowgirl, Standing Cowgirl, Vaginal Fingering, Anal Fingering, Anal, Gaping, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, A to M, Anal Doggy, Anal Spooning, $hot to Face and Mouth, Oral Clean-up
Score: 4 out of 5

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It has to be said upfront that Denis Marti is no superhunk. Dumpy, kind of dopey looking with a massive member, he's not what you'd call classically attractive. But the boy can sure bang the babes. Every women he services in this film understands that they're being balled by one of the best. Not that they are just slutty slouches looking for a paycheck. Jane is more than capable of keeping up with her co-star, and their scene swelters under the heat. Amazingly enough, while quite good, this is not even the best scene in the set.

Scene 2: Niki Dark, Angel Dark, Denis Marti, Kid Jamaica
Acts Performed:Minor B&D, Cabaret, Blow Job, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, V to M, Mish, Cowgirl, Alternative V to M, Spooning, Anal Doggy, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Gaping, A to M, DP in the Reverse Cowgirl Mode, DP in the Cowgirl Mode, Lots of A to V to A to V to M, DP in the Standing Mode, $hots in Mouth, Snowballing
Score: 4.5 out of 5
It's time for the first of our two group gropes and it's the better of the pair. Our Dark duo are eager to please and Denis and Kid kick it into high gear here. The ladies are rather petite, and when paired with the puffy Marti and the HUGE Jamaica, the domination dynamic is set in motion. But instead of abuse, we get arousal and lots of it. Kid is just as impressive as our director in his dicking, and the ladies shore up the sex with their sensational brand of suck and fuck. About the only negative thing that can be said about the scene is that, once the DP starts, it's kind of difficult to keep the participants and the positions straight. The sequence turns into a true free-for-all, in the best sexual sense of the word.

Scene 3: Daria Glower, Victoria, Denis Marti, Kid Jamaica
Acts Performed:Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Tit Fucking, Deep Throating, Salad Tossing, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Reverse Cowgirl, Doggy, V to M, Ball Action, Scissors in a Sex Swing, Stranding Cowgirl, Anal Doggy, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, A to M, DP in the Cowgirl Mode, Alternating V to A to M, DP in the Reverse Cowgirl Mode, A to M, Face Fucking, Gaping, $hots in Mouth
Score:3.5 out of 5
After the fire of the last scene, Daria and Victoria have a lot to live up to. Unfortunately, our lovely lasses just can't get it together. They look nice, and provide receptive reasons for Denis and Kid to go corporeally crazy, but they don't give off the 'ready to be plowed' vibe of Niki and Angel. As the scene moves on, we start to wonder if director Marti has any additional tricks up his sleeve. The answer, sadly, is no. Our helping of hardcore simply cruises on its rather substantive heat, but never ignites our 'flames' the way the previous pairing did.

Scene 4: Valentina Velasques, Kid Jamaica
Acts Performed:Blow Job, Salad Tossing, Cunnilingus, Doggy, V to M, Mish, Cowgirl, Anal Spooning, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Choking, A to M, Anal to Vaginal Penetration, $hot in Mouth
Score: 4 out of 5
Getting a chance to prove himself sans filmmaker, Kid Jamaica jumps all over the very fetching Valentina Velasques. The result is something truly amazing, a totally satisfying portion of porn. Since he is quite large in the body barge, there is a fear that his partner will simply balk at said boner. But Valentina appears to be anxious for more, as she rides, rams and rims his cock with genuine abandon. This couple gets so moist and damp that the TV screen threatens to steam over with hump humidity. Marti's pitch perfect camerawork captures all the detail, as well as the fervor between the players, in images that completely sell the sex. This is some of the best action the adult industry has to offer.

Scene 5: Maria Bellucci, Denis Marti
Acts Performed: Minor B&D, Cabaret, Tit Play, Blow Job, Cunnilingus, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, A to M, Anal Doggy, Anal Pile Driver, Gaping, Choking, Mutual Masturbation, $hot in Mouth and Face, Oral Clean-up
Score: 4 out of 5
Matching his dark skinned partner blow for blow, Denis gets yet another chance to reset the balling benchmark. And with the amazing Maria as his onscreen lover, he just about does it. This is a classic cock and cunt carnival, a guy and a girl getting it on without a care for the camera or the circumstances. They loose themselves in the act, ardor focused on each other, not the home audience. In the end, this scene seems shorter than the others, as if time and tendencies required that the sex be rushed. But while it is happening, Mr. Marti and Ms. Bellucci are out of this world. This final sequence sends The Professianals #8 off with the kind of bang we expect from the ultra-erotic world of European hardcore.

Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (Highly Recommended)
Cohabitation Certification: Granted
First, all props to Marti. He is one of those rare directors of pornography that doesn't get lost in crazy angles or excessive close-ups. Instead, he lets scenes play out, avoiding the jump cut in the middle of a particularly potent position, to keep the heat focused and fiery. His actors seem ready and willing to please, and there is a polish and aesthetic to the look of his work that makes it highly charged and sexual. Had Scene 3 and 5 been a little better, this would have easily made the DVD Talk Collector's Series. Still, The Professianals #8 is absolutely amazing adult entertainment. Couples should get all hot and bothered watching this disc, and anyone into butt busting ass antics will enjoy the trunk junk out of this disc. When it's done right, a straight feature can put gonzo or amateur antics to shame. The Professianals #8 is indeed porn done right.

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