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Assploitations 5

Studio: Mayhem » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 8/25/05

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Assploitations 5

Sin City/Mayhem

Genre: Anal

Director: Aurora Snow

Cast: Amber Peach, Alex Sanders, Georgia X, Aurora Snow, Julian St. Jox, Dulce, Anthony Hardwood, Brooke Haven, Johnny "Bad Bob" Thrust, Katja Kassin, Seth Dickens, Dirty Harry

Length: 133 minutes

Date of Production: 5/6/2005

Extra's: There were some decent extras this time with the best being the 11.5 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Johnny "Bad Bob" Thrust, the many biographies (short but including each cast member, male and female) and interviews (each gal EXCEPT KATJA KASSIN got a few minutes of screen time) all added some value. There was also the usual pop shot compilation, trailers, and photogallery but I've never really cared about either of those so you can adjust the rating a touch higher if you're a fan of them.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Assploitations 5 was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color, as originally shot for this release. Mayhem's usual picture quality is a bit on the low side with some of the varied visual problems lower end porn is known for including grain, soft focus, compression artifacts, and video noise leading the issues I've noticed. For the most part, the sex scenes here weren't impacted too much by these issues but they weren't all that great to begin with so the further hampering of the heat was devastating to the final product. I've seen some very crisp and clear porn from the company so whenever I see a title looking like this, I wonder (often aloud to the chagrin of my friends) what went wrong. The 2.0 stereo English audio was a bit hollow with little dynamic range or separation but you could hear the moans and groans once the action started; just like always. On a bad note though, the vocals were few and far between, lowering the heat that could've come from them.

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Body of Review: Now that Aurora Snow is no longer under contract with Sin City/Mayhem, a number of her series will be up for grabs by other directors. Towards the end of her reign at the company though, she seemed to deliberately hold back, doing less each movie and being careless with the production qualities that so many of us DVD aficionados appreciate. Exactly what went on behind the scenes is still unclear to me but the look of her movies seemed to be in decline and that's a shame. Her last movie from the company that I've had the opportunity to review is Assploitations 5, a title from a series with some respectable numbers that focuses on anal sex. I wish I could say that it was one of the better volumes but unlike Assploitations 4, the scenes looked worse than ever and the cast appeared all too often to be going through the motions. That said, here's a brief look at the action, noting that no condoms were used and that the action in other movies by the company are still looking pretty solid:

Scene One: Amber Peach, a blonde gal with a lean body wearing red fishnet arm warmers, matching hosiery, and some freckles, was up first in a bedroom scene with studly Alex Sanders. She was cute enough although I got the impression that she wasn't really comfortable doing the tease/masturbation footage by the mechanical way in which she did it. I'd have licked her glass dildo clean for her but her inexperience showed and the over the top manner she pretended to orgasm when he jilled her off made me wince at the bad acting. They each did some oral on the other and then boned in the pussy and ass but he did most of the work and she simply appeared to think yelling "fuck yeah, oh yeah" and the like was a substitute for real heat. It ended when he jerked off a load to her face but it was a mechanical scene with little to care about.

Scene Two: Georgia X, another light haired gal with some decent curves (thick legs too), was up next as she followed the generic formula and masturbated in her orange fishnet top and black shorts with stripper shoes to fill out the effect. She was joined by Aurora Snow, the well known director/performer, in a purple torn jumpsuit before they took on Julian St. Jox. Each gal got some boning action and played with the other while Julian tore into them. The scene wasn't bad but it lacked anything to elevate it from the pack and Aurora's inability to do anal, her trademarked gig, disappointed me (maybe this was why she was fired from the company recently). It ended with some cum swapping by the gals and ATM but Aurora's been much better previously and she held Georgia back.

Scene Three: Dulce, a skinny redhead (or brunette with reddish highlights) in a fishnet body stocking like the one Katja wore on the front DVD cover, was up next in a scene with Aurora Snow and Anthony Hardwood. I liked that she engaged the audience during the masturbation footage but her very hairy crotch was spooky. She had one of the nicest asses of the cast this time and I was more than happy to see it in action once the preliminaries got out of the way. What really turned me off though was how Aurora and Anthony stuck 8 fingers deep inside her pussy (pulling it apart, making me notice that they could've almost climbed inside all the way without much effort). The gals double teamed him orally in what amounted to the finest moment of the movie to this point (which normally would've been a much stronger compliment I might add) and then did some boning. Aurora seemed to shy away again and let Dulce do virtually all the work. Dulce did do anal with a large gape and some ATM by both gals, before taking the facial. The scene had some potential but it was largely lost by Aurora's limited participation.

Scene Four: Brooke Haven, a curvy blonde with large implants, a tiny thong, white fishnet top, and light blue vinyl cap, sucked on a lollipop to begin the next scene. I liked the idea and thought her chunky butt was built for comfort, not for speed, as she sort of teased the camera a bit to get ready for the action. Her partner was Johnny "Bad Bob" Thrust, the production assistant and regular in this line of movies, although not exactly the studliest guy in the show (no offense but a few years in the gym wouldn't hurt him). The sex was okay and she was slightly active in a couple of positions, taking the anal enough to satisfy the advertised content. Most of the act was vaginal though and while I think she showed potential, she wasn't at her best.

Scene Five: Katja Kassin, one of my favorite performers in porn for some time now, was up next; sporting the same dark hair she had on the front DVD cover. Her fishnet body stocking added some heat to her scene, as did her red pumps but her solo action was too light on the tease for my tastes. Some of the problem with this scene (and the others) was the lame camera work and some of the other problems related to how tired the action appeared but I figured this would be a safe bet given the dozens of magnificent performances of hers I've watched (and repeatedly at that). Well, it started off slowly and I didn't hold a lot of hope once I saw who she was going to work with Seth "creepy guy" Dickens and Dirty "even creepier guy" Harry. She can be a dynamo of energy and chemistry but she was saddled with lame partners here and even the circus act of a double anal penetration (DAP) wasn't enough to save this scene. Out of all her work that I've seen to date (and I've seen a lot), this was easily one of the worst.

Summary: Assploitations 5 was a Skip It in my book due in large part to the lack of chemistry between the performers, the weak technical values, and the limited replay value on display here. I expect more from Sin City's Mayhem line of hardcore porn and so should you. I could try to analyze every aspect that appeared flawed but the result would be the same and I don't think it would matter much. As a fan of Aurora Snow and Katja Kassin in particular, I found their work here to be so generic as to make me want to ignore their participation as though they were on autopilot. You can find much better at Mayhem so pass this one up unless you're a slavering fanboy of the cast and feel compelled to own every scene a gal (or gals) are in.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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