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Lauren Phoenix's Fuck Me

Studio: Evil Angel » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 9/15/05

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Lauren Phoenix's Fuck Me

Evil Angel/Harmony

Genre: Vignette

Director: Gazzman

Cast: Lauren Phoenix, Marco Duato, Anthony Hardwood, Haley Paige, Jayna Oso, Joel Lawrence, Taylor Rain, Brandon Iron, Brian Surewood, Brett Rockman, Kylie Ireland, Melissa Lauren, Ariana Jollee, Sophia, Roxy Jezel, Angelica Sin, Chris Charming, Nick Manning, Eve Laurence, Rich Handsome

Length: 150.5 minutes

Date of Production: 3/11/2004 (box); 5/2004 (credits)

Extra's: My favorite extra was a bonus solo masturbation scene lasting 11 minute by the attractive Eve Laurence. She's a good looking gal with an ample chest for those who aren't familiar with her. There was also a minute of deleted bloopers, some trailers, and a photogallery and a cool 3.5 minute masturbation scene by Lauren Phoenix where she talked dirty, but the best extra was a 9.5 minute interview by Lauren Phoenix. A lot of the information was redundant to that which is public knowledge but it was well done and made her look especially good. I also really liked the cardboard protective sleeve on the DVD case as it looked stylish and appealing, as did the others in the series.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Lauren Phoenix's Fuck Me was presented in the original aspect ratio of 1.85:1 in anamorphic widescreen color in the NTSC format (unlike the first two volumes in the Fuck Me series, Belladonna's Fuck Me and Katja Kassin's Fuck Me, which came in PAL). They were often showing gals in the natural sunlight of the Caribbean location they were shot in but this volume in the trilogy was filmed inside, with substantially weaker lighting, causing a host of problems. There was a lot of grain and shadows, and I think the conversion to the NTSC format from the original PAL caused a bunch of issues in itself. The bit rate was better than the first volume of the series, sporting a 6.24 Mbps average, but it didn't look nearly as good and I think this technical barrier to director Gazzman's work should be fixed for later volumes in the series if any more are made. I've been told that Harmony's releases look superior to most American porn from friends overseas but until I saw this series (with some in their television format and this one in ours, I thought they were blowing smoke). Maybe a better DVD mastering company is needed to address this issue. In any case, the visuals detracted from the heat of the scenes and a number of compression artifacts were observed. The stereo English audio was slightly hollow here and maintained the average rate of 224 Kbps the other volumes of the series had so I wondered if this was impacted by the transfer too.

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Body of Review: While awards should never be the basis for determining a porn performer's popularity, it is difficult to argue that Lauren Phoenix is not deserving of any accolade she comes across. The attractive blonde has been in porn for a few years, done some of the most passionate anal scenes to be found, and still managed to keep her wonderfully all natural body intact unlike many of her peers. Today's review is of a piece of her work shot by the near legendary Gazzman shot for Harmony in England, now distributed by Evil Angel called Lauren Phoenix's Fuck Me. The third in a trilogy of showcase titles with the other two titles being Belladonna's Fuck Me (volume 1 in the series) and Katja Kassin's Fuck Me (volume 2), this was the first volume I received offered up in our domestic television format, and I'm curious if that's why it looked like it did (the others looked superior in every way). The benefit to Belladonna's volume was that she is currently not doing men on camera for now (making her great performances all the more worthy of your money) and the benefit of Katja's volume was that the majority of the cast was looking fine as they engaged in some solid performances (though not as passionate as they could've been; Lea's scene in particular was great) so what's the comparable benefit of seeing an actively performing Lauren when you can find her looking better than ever and pushing her limits beyond what she was doing when this was filmed a year and a half ago? Well, with some serious technical issues, I have to admit that even a fan of hers like me is currently asking the same question. I have little doubt that the director was at fault given his past work and that leaves penny pinching on the company producers as the most likely candidate to point fingers at. Here's a brief breakdown of the scenes to give you an idea of what I mean, noting that no condoms were used:

Scene One: Lauren Phoenix, the lead gal of the show here, was up first in a dungeon scene with Marco Duato and Anthony Hardwood. I liked her dirty talk and ability to do just about anything they wanted, including some very energetic anal and ATM. She did a decent DP and seemed to be very sexually aggressive, as expected mind you, a trait that has won her numerous awards over the last couple of years. There's no denying that Lauren is on the short list of talented anal performers in porn, something she shared with the other two gals in the series, although this very well made first scene wasn't anything special in terms of what she's done in the past.

Scene Two: Haley Paige, a very cute gal with a nice figure, and Jayna Oso, the exotic hotty known for driving men wild, were up next in what started as a lesbian scene in an aircraft maintenance hanger (for helicopters by the looks of it). Jayna was dominant and Haley did as she was ordered until Joel Lawrence joined them for some meat oriented antics. Using toys and medical instruments, the gals had some anal fun but the meat was what they wanted and he sure gave it to them. With PTM and ATM a regular occurrence here, the gals never let up in this varied and interesting scene. If only it looked as good as the scenes from the first volume in the series… In any case, it was a passionate scene and I thought both gals had a great time in the scene with all holes plundered repeatedly before Haley took the load in her mouth and let it fall into Jayna's gaping asshole (held open by a speculum).

Scene Three: Taylor Rain, dressed in a fur coat and jewelry as though a rich gal, had the next scene with Brett Rockman, Brian Surewood, and Brandon Iron on a staircase to an expensive looking building. She gave each head before taking them on in her pussy and ass, slobbing their knobs with glee as she left them all nasty and drooled on. She was looking quite a mess herself as she had plenty of streamers coming from her mouth as they worked her over but it was the screwing part of the scene that I liked the most. She took the DP far better than most in porn could do and rolled right into some more anal as the guys passed her around from one to the other. She begged for more as they asked her how it felt, always coming back to her wanting more from them. Fans of foot action will be pleased that she did some of that too and the scene ended with them giving her some hot loads in and on her ass (as they held her head down with their feet).

Scene Four: Kylie Ireland, Melissa Lauren, Ariana Jollee, Sophia, Roxy Jezel, Angelica Sin, Brandon Iron, Brian Surewood, Chris Charming, Nick Manning, and Joel Lawrence, were up next in a big orgy scene that sadly didn't have Lauren in it. It looked a lot like one of Kylie's home orgies in a sense but the main focal point of the scene was easily Ariana Jollee demanding more and more cock, especially the DAP (double anal) in bareback fashion. I would've liked to see more Kylie in this one but the overall sense of passion and heat was something that truly shined compared to most orgy scenes done elsewhere. You really have to see this one to believe all that took place but it managed to convey a sense of sexual pleasure in a manner that only Gazzman seems able to do under such limited circumstances.

Scene Five: Lauren Phoenix, Eve Laurence, Rich Handsome, Chris Charming, and Brian Surewood were up in a second orgy scene in a dark room. There was a lot of Eve this time (she was new to the business when this was made) and Lauren got plenty of screen time too as they did all the usual tricks with one another and the guys. Fans of gapes will appreciate this scene and Lauren's early ability to do a solid DP was also noted. There was a lot of taste testing (PTM and ATM) but it was how the gals seemed to be on fire that really made the scene. This was another one that I wish had better production values; the composition of the shots was decent enough but not the levels of grain and lighting that detracted from the action. Still, fans of either gal will find this one a winner in terms of passion and chemistry.

Summary: Lauren Phoenix's Fuck Me was the weakest of the Fuck Me trilogy due in large part to technical matters. The sexual hijinks were just fine but the presentation on DVD sucked goat balls. The extras were interesting to watch and the composition of the shots managed to convince me that good old Gazzman wasn't the issue here. In all, I thought it was worth a rating of Rent It to all but the most slavering of fan boys that are devoted fans of Lauren Phoenix but I wonder if the PAL version of the DVD was as poorly executed considering the visual quality of the other two by comparison. Fans of Eve Laurence/Lawrence (the English spell things slightly different at times, including names) will find this a must have for her early performance (an exceptional one with a solid extra too) but Lauren has so many scenes where she lights up the screen that when one with poor technical matters comes along, I'll generally wait for the next choice if you catch my drift. In all though, the entire trilogy of titles, including this one, Belladonna's Fuck Me and Katja Kassin's Fuck Me all provided something off the beaten path, I just hope that the issues are worked out if future volumes are going to be offered up. Conceptually, I'd also like to see more footage of the lead performer other than a couple of scenes and some minor interludes but that's a judgment call on the part of the director so your mileage will vary. Check this one out though and you'll see what I mean.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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