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Janine's Got Male

Studio: Vivid » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 9/30/05

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Janine's Got Male

Vivid Entertainment

Genre: Vignette

Director: Paul Thomas

Cast: Janine Lindemulder, Evan Stone, Dale DaBone, Kimberly Kane, Nick Manning, Tawny Roberts, Rick Patrick, Shy Love, Monique Alexander
Non-sex roles by: Mia Beck, Tommy Gunn; Paul Thomas, Mark Kernes (BTS only for the last two)
Note: Seeing Mia peep in on Janine and Evan in the final scene as well as having Tommy kiss Janine hardly merits a screen and cover credit. There's allegedly a story behind the missing Christie Lee and Christian, also credited on the cover but not in the movie, though I don't know it.

Length: 118.5 minutes

Date of Production: 5/11/2004

Extra's: The extras were pretty standard this time though not without merit. There were five lesbian scenes from the 1990's that each had Janine in them from various movies. There were the usual two photogalleries, trailers, double sided DVD cover, forced spam at the beginning of the DVD, positions room, short Janine biography, and limited credits. For me, the best extra was easily the 25 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Victoria Woodhill (there were a lot of cute bits in it, including a comment by Paul Thomas about Janine's favorite drink having Captain Morgan in it-something fans of her new movie for Digital Playground, Pirates).

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: Janine's Got Male was presented in the same 1.33:1 ratio full frame color it was shot in by director Paul Thomas for Vivid Entertainment. The picture had a lot of grain and some fairly plentiful video noise, owing mostly to lighting issues in some scenes. The colors were mostly accurate and the outdoor scene looked decent but not nearly as clear as I would've liked. I've been told that Vivid's DVD mastering company has problems including all the "bonus" scenes but I've been seeing other companies offer longer shows with better visuals so maybe someone there needs to change something. The stereo English audio track was pretty fair in terms of vocals but they were overwhelmed by the droning music in almost all cases, perhaps employed to cover up background noises. There was no separation between the channels that I could hear and the dynamic range was run of the mill.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: I've long been a fan of the attractive Janine Lindemulder; from her days in the strip dance duo Blondage to her multitude of lesbian scenes in porn for various companies, particularly Vivid Entertainment. Last year, Janine made a so-called come back when she signed a contract with Vivid but the handful of new material she shot with them was kind of weaker than I'd hoped for, even with her having men as partners (finally!!!). In a turnabout from another gal that crossed companies, she left Vivid to sign with Digital Playground but her first movies with men will always be remembered as coming out of Vivid. Now I know some of you think of Janine as being something out of a Groucho Marx song (Lydia the Tattooed Lady) or a rug muncher, but as she herself put it in the initial interview; she cleans up well. Tall, beautiful, with incredible bone structure and a sense of playfulness missing in porn all too often, I have no qualms admitting that I think she's far more appealing than most women in porn (many of which are nearly half her age). Aside from the plethora of compilations coming out of Vivid that she's in, her latest, and maybe last, new movie for them was Janine's Got Male, playing off the fact that she's now doing men. That said, any new movie with her in it is something of an event and while you wait for your copy of Pirates to come in, this will be a decent way to spend some time with her. So here's a quick look at the scenes by cast and actions, noting that condoms were used and Janine was in rare form:

Scene One: A First For Janine: Janine Lindemulder, the hotty on the front DVD cover, was up first in a scene with the mighty Evan Stone and pretty boy Dale DaBone on a couch. There was some okay oral and very solid vaginal action but the gimmick here was advertised as her "First boy/boy/girl scene ever". Granted, this wasn't the first time she was claimed to be in such a scene but I think it was truthful (this time). There was even a very short, very lame, bit of anal as Evan had her so worked up as to try the head of his penis in her ass. Except for his fricking hand in the way, it might've been good but she changed her mind midway through and that was that. Otherwise, I could've used less of the droning music and she had some razor burn from hell but her limits were thoroughly pushed and she appeared to have a great time with the guys. Dale popped off on her ass and Evan jerked out his load as she taunted him, looking almost as if she were fingering his ass a bit.

Scene Two: Let's Get Fucked: Kimberly Kane, an appealing gal next door type with a lean body and multi-colored hair, was up with scraggly looking Nick Manning in a bedroom. It started off well enough with the two kissing but he reverted to form and began yelling his usual dirty talk that kills the heat of any scene. The weird music and limited nature of the sex (oral and vaginal only) was far tamer than her usual performance so I considered it a waste of her (and my) time. It would've been an okay scene with someone less talented but once you've seen her really into a scene, anything less is a pale imitation.

Scene Three: Late Night Trio: Tawny Roberts, one of the best looking gals at Vivid in a long time, and Janine Lindemulder, looking great in a form fitting red dress, were up next with Tawny's then husband Rick Patrick (at the time he was Rick Roberts IIRC). This was another scene that could've been great but turned out kind of weak. Let's face it; you have two incredible women and a talented guy on fire. Yeah, there was some oral and vaginal worthy of merit but come onůso much of the sex seemed posed and made for still photography, I wondered if the director was just trying to capture a web shoot. The gals could've spent a half hour warming each other up, Tawny could've done the limited anal much more enthusiastically (he barely put the tip in, much like Janine's earlier experience in the movie), and they could've done much more on top of that. The lighting and camera work were particularly disappointing, looking far less like Ralph was shooting this time. This amounted to another scene of limited heat but more due to the technical matters than the cast.

Scene Four: Lesbian Lovers: Shy Love, the brunette hotty with the distinctive look (the manner in which her eyes seem so intense as well as the over done implants), and the lovely Monique Alexander, were up next in the only true lesbian scene in the movie. This is surprising on several levels, primarily since Janine is so perfect in such scenes, but they acquitted themselves well enough. The soundtrack droned too loudly and the use of a poorly lit barn setting didn't help them any but I had some fun with the scene. It was lengthy enough and they used tongues, fingers, and cool glass dildos well enough to keep my interest.

Scene Five: Country Matters: Janine Lindemulder, in the last scene of the movie, was outside with the mighty Evan Stone and muscular Tommy Gunn, in a rural setting by a lake. Evan broke a chair to give new meaning to the term "face sitting" while Tommy kissed her. As Evan worked his magic fingers on her, Tommy seemed to fade away (I don't know if it was because he shot his load in his pants as rumor suggests), but I think the two of them were great together (having some spark/magic/chemistry). She was particularly energetic and enthusiastic though I'd have preferred it more if the music were mixed less aggressively into the scene (a common problem these days at Vivid, WTF?!?). It was oral and vaginal only but I'll be watching this one a lot while I wait to see her newest releases.

Summary: Janine's Got Male had the one ingredient that I was looking for in a porno; Janine Lindemulder doing men. I could pick apart all the negative aspects of the movie and the bottom line is that I'd still return to that fact in this part of the review. I'm a fan of hers from years back and make no apologies for it so you know that my rating is going to be a Recommended. She's always had something that appealed to me and this wasn't a compilation of scenes I'd seen a dozen times (or more) elsewhere but I have to applaud Vivid for contracting her for those last few movies (I've only seen a few but I'll put the others on my wish list). If you're a fan of hers, you'll want the movie, and if you're not a fan, there wasn't much here you couldn't find far better handled elsewhere. I hope that Vivid fixes their technical issues on future releases, even if it means dropping the years-old bonus scenes they routinely include, but this could've been done on a home camera and I'd still be able to get off on it thanks to Janine's screen presence.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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