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Swine's P.O.V.

Studio: Vouyer Media » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 10/20/05

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Swine's POV

Platinum X Pictures

Genre: Gonzo

Director: Tim Von Swine

Cast: Haley Paige, Tim Von Swine, Andrea Ash, Sunny Lane, Lean Stevenson, Jake Malone, Nikki Nievez

Length: 144.5 minutes

Date of Production: 8/23/2005 (box); 8/8/2005, 8/10/2005, 8/11/2005, 8/21/2005, 8/23/2005 (credits)

Extra's: The best extra for most people will be the bonus sex scene between Leah Stevenson and Tim Von Swine that lasted 8.5 minutes long. It was oral only and she made a face during the pop shot that seemed like she was completely pissed off about something but it was an okay blowjob. For me though, the best extra was the 21 minute long Behind the Scenes feature shot by Tim Von Swine. Other than the segment with Leah where Jake (and to a limited extent, Tim) acted like assholes towards her, it was fun to watch (dogging out the gals only works when both sides accept it as a joke). There was also a photogallery and a double sided DVD cover.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Swine's POV was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director Tim Von Swine for distribution by Platinum X Pictures. The lighting was better here than in previous releases but still needed some work. There was some minor grain and video noise too but that was my biggest problem with it. The fleshtones were somewhat too saturated at times as well and a small watermark with Vouyer Productions was a constant reminder of where the DVD came from in the lower right hand corner. I think Platinum X Pictures have made a lot of improvements to the visual quality of their DVDs in the last year and this was one of Tim's better looking releases of late but not up to their usual standards. The stereo English audio track was handled well enough but it was basic to the point of being able to hear what took place only.

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Body of Review: Tim Von Swine is what most people think of when they think of a pornographer, an out of shape white guy that doesn't seem to care much for the women he uses up to make a buck. This is kind of a harsh assessment although it's based on a comparison to what he says in the BTS features I've watched where he seems to readily admit as much. I'm told that part of this attitude of his is an act; that he's actually a big teddy bear, but I have my doubts. In any case, his latest effort for Platinum X Pictures is Swine's POV. Like most movies shot in point of view fashion, the movie has a limited set of compositions he can use as he bones the gals (with one exception) but fans of this kind of thing have recognized that while Tim's no Jules Jordan, Mike John (the best in the biz), or Brother John, he does a capable job most of the time. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that neither he nor Jake used condoms:

Scene One: Haley Paige, the hotty on the front DVD cover, was first up in her black bikini on a bed. She's probably the most experienced gal in porn here and looked younger than her claimed age of 23. Tim Von Swine was her partner and he spent a lot of time playing with her lovely body as he warmed her up. He had her leave the bed to give him a POV blowjob and this revealed the biggest flaw of the show; Tim's fat, white, hairy belly. Like myself, Tim's in great need of some time in the gym if he wants to be on camera so this might not appeal to you unless you can identify with his look (as much as I could). She gave an okay but uneventful blowjob to him before they fucked vaginally and anally. She's a great looker but her act this time was marred by having him do all the work. Her screams sounded less like they were in pleasure than trying to put on an act; lowering the heat for me (and I like seeing her a lot). The scene lasted the better part of 30 minutes and ended with him jerking out a load to her lovely face but I never got the impression that she was into the sex this time.

Scene Two: Andrea Ash, another very attractive gal but much newer to porn, claimed to be 19 on July Fourth as she sat on Tim Von Swine's large whale belly. Her exotic mixture of Greek and German DNA gave her a lot of appeal and her full breasts didn't hurt either. She teased him and he moved her to the couch before allowing her to masturbate and ready herself for his large body to impale her. Her yellow outfit provided some nice contrast to the black leather couch and Tim seemed anxious to get some action from her. Her oral was slow and sultry, appearing to be fun for her though it didn't last long. Her strength was in how actively she managed to grind on his cock as she rode him. This time, the gal seemed to be willing to pay her porn dues by giving Tim a sweet ride in her tight pussy, a decidedly better performance than Haley for the most part. She may not be as pretty but the motion in the ocean was better (great tan line on her too). It ended when he jerked out a load to her face (it would've been better if she did it) and the scene was very nice.

Scene Three: Sunny Lane, a gal with a great ass and nice long light brown hair that touched it, began the scene bent over on the couch wearing a pink bikini styled outfit. Tim Von Swine pawed her as she claimed to like big guys (claiming to have been in 30 years) and it wasn't long before she enthusiastically sucked his dick. She then rode him with her pussy in a passionate manner, never letting up as she tried her best to milk him hard and quick. The scene flew by and while she may not be the absolute cutest gal in porn (I'm not giving her a backhanded compliment, just suggesting she could've been made up better to enhance her natural look), she was a natural performer that I hope to see a lot more of. It ended as expected and I think she was another highlight of the show.

Scene Four: Lean Stevenson, a skinny brunette with incredibly appealing hair, was up next as she crawled over to Tim to eventually sit on the loveseat in the movie. She seemed a bit standoffish and cold as he pawed her but she eventually ended up with Jake Malone instead of Tim. She didn't seem too thrilled with working with him but tried to put on a good front just the same. Jake was very much a dominating guy and that only works if the gal is a willing submissive (not a submissive for pay as here). She did everything he asked of her but it came off as forced and he's not exactly the best cocksman in the jizz biz (I'm being very generous with that comment too). The action showed the two had issues with one another and the scene suffered as a result (most of the problems originated with him by the looks of it in the scene as well as the BTS feature though the end credits put the blame squarely on her shoulders). They did oral, vaginal, and anal with a bunch of balls until he plugged her ass himself (followed by ATM). He eventually jerked off a load to her face but while the scene succeeded on the technical merits, including her swallowing the load, the lack of chemistry between the two killed any replay value for me.

Scene Five: Nikki Nievez, a gal with an angular face and a gap between her teeth like Belladonna, was up next on the bed with Tim Von Swine. He stated that he didn't like the gals to masturbate or tease, yet he often has the gals provide some so I was left wondering where he was coming from on an intellectual basis though she seemed willing to let him do as he pleased too. She appears to be like most 19 year old strippers in generic clubs across the country, willing to trade her skills for cash, regardless of her sexual desire for the guy. I can't fault her for that but it made the scene somewhat mechanical at times, much like Leah's scene without the personal animosity between the couple. With almost no oral to speak of, they boned vaginally and anally before the facial. He did most of the work but she did participate as well and I liked her dirty talk before the "Oooohh yeah!" comments. It was worth watching but only a little bit and not a second time for me.

Summary: Swine's POV was worth a rating of Rent It or maybe even another notch higher if your favorite type of gonzo porn is POV. The gals were a mix of talented and/or attractive performers and the technical values this time were okay compared to most other companies (sorry but PXP and RLD have provided some of the best technical matters in the industry consistently for the last few years and anything less than what they usually offer will be looked at as less than favorable). There was a decent amount of fuck for the buck though and I could see how some might appreciate the general attitude Tim and Jake seemed to convey, it just didn't work for me in all the scenes. Check it out and I think you'll see what I mean.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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