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Bang Boat Vol. 3

Studio: Pink Visual Productions » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 10/27/05

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Bang Boat 3

Pink Visual

Genre: Pro-Am

Director: Jonas

Cast: Delilah, Shane Diesel, Jay, Georgia, Tommy, TJ, Brad, Angela, Val, Shane, Mya, Astrid, Darrien

Length: 148 minutes

Date of Production: 7/11/2005

Extra's: The only extras were some trailers.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Bang Boat 3 was presented in the same 1.33:1 ratio full frame color it was shot in by cameraman Jonas for distribution by Pink Visual Productions. Without going into too much detail, the entire show looked like it was shot with a home videocamera, complete with lots of movement, compositional errors, and lighting problems. Thankfully, the scenes were shot outside so the shadows were not always a problem but the way Jonas would zoom in on a gal's flaws struck me as counter productive to say the least. I saw no compression artifacts or video noise though so I suppose it could've been worse. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital English but I didn't notice any separation between the channels and the dynamic range wasn't much to speak of either. The levels varied more often than not and the sound was a bit below average for me.

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Body of Review: Pink Visual Productions is one of the smaller companies in porn that seems to be trying to shoot for the Shane's World type of travelogue show with a number of releases that I browsed through the other day. The first actual release I had the chance to watch though was Bang Boat 3, a show where the formula consisted of Jonas (the director) and friends picking up women and offering them a chance to sun themselves on the boat. This led to sex of course and the action was very generic. Here's a quick look at the scenes but I swear it came off as though Jonas went to a local strip club and waved a few twenties around to attract the talent:

Scene One: Delilah, a plain looking blonde with some of her baby fat still attached to her frame, was up first with well endowed Shane Diesel and much more average Jay on the deck of a boat at sea. I didn't mind her stretch marks, her chubby frame, or even her limited oral skills so much but when the vaginal screwing kicked in, I was hoping for more motion in her ocean (that never came). The guys took turns porking her pussy and ended the scene by dousing her with semen to her face but the sex was tame at best.

Scene Two: Georgia, a gal that looked like a stripper (and could sort of be seen on the upper right hand corner of the front DVD cover) with multi-colored hair and tiny breasts, took on Tommy, TJ, and Brad on the deck of the small boat. The guys were decidedly small and none of them was particularly talented sexually but at least she appeared to have some playful spirit in her as she took all of them on with oral and vaginal sex. If you don't want your porn performers to look like they work in porn, she'll be a nice change for you but I'd prefer someone a bit cuter. The scene ended with the usual pop shots to her face.

Scene Three: Angela, a blonde wearing a light blue shirt that showed her devotion to her mother, was another gal that looked doable if you had enough beers in you. She enjoyed a scene on the deck at sea with Val and another guy whose name I couldn't quite figure out (I thought it was Shane). She took a leak during the scene (some would call it "squirting") with the oral and vaginal being all she was into, ending with a facial (Val never really seemed to get in on the action much).

Scene Four: Mya, a black gal with a very lean body and a tough attitude, started off with some lesbian action but preferred working with hunky Jay. She worked his cock over like a seasoned professional, appearing to me like a gal that works in strip clubs known for happy endings. While not great looking, she was playful and seemed to be fun to work with so even though the scene was kind of tame by most standards, it worked as well as any of the others on the DVD. It ended with the usual facial and he did almost all of the work but she'd do in a pinch.

Scene Five: Astrid, a gal next door type with light brown hair and a love of flowers, was up next as she stripped on the boat as they rode around. Her stretch marks and stomach damage may appeal to some of you more than me but at least she kept her clothing on around the stomach to cover up the worst she had to offer. Her partners were two black guys, Shane and his older friend. They seemed to have some fun with her and she was willing to learn although not particularly skillful with a cock in her mouth and pussy. If you like amateur porn, this will work better for you than it did for me, with it ending as expected to her face.

Scene Six: Darrien, one of the least attractive gals of the show, was up last after the crew teased the viewer with a hotty named Chloe. Darrien looked familiar to me but I couldn't quite place her. She had the largest breasts of the group and Shane liked sucking on them as she sat in his lap. Shane's buddy got in on the action too but she stuck with the formulaic action like the others. I'm sure she's sucked men off for money in the past but the energy wasn't consistent so the scene suffered.

Summary: Bang Boat 3 was one of those porn DVDs that you'll either sort of like or simply hate with little middle ground to speak of. The gals weren't all that great looking and they had limited sexual skill (at least by the looks of the scenes). The men were kind of generic too but in the porn world, that's nothing out of the ordinary so the production doesn't lose points for that. With no extras, no credits, and a completely generic formula relied on too heavily, the best I could rate this one would be a Skip It unless you're really, really into the pro-am style of porn that used to get more play back in the late 1980's.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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