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Squirtwoman 3

Studio: Elegant Angel » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 11/14/05

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Squirtwoman 3

Elegant Angel

Genre: Gonzo, Squirting

Director: Patrick Collins

Cast: Cytherea, Kat, Billy Glide, Lee Stone, Patrick Collins, Tiana Lynn, Kinzie Kenner, Anna Mills, Claire Robbins, Angela Stone, Lexi Love, Randy Spears

Length: 95.5 minutes

Date of Production: 8/20/2005 (box); 8/13/2005 (credits)

Extra's: Most people will appreciate the bonus scene between Cytherea and a cheap version of Barrett Blade on a couch. It was a basic scene where she pissed but the camera work was limited, lasting over 11 minutes and coming from a previous volume in the series IIRC. There was a short bit between Cytherea and Pat Collins too but I liked the audition reel where Patrick put Hillary Scott and Jewel through the ringer to see who should be hired. I think the 20.5 minute long Behind the Scenes feature was my favorite though as it gave the cast and crew a chance to really shine (as well as goof around). It was one of the best BTS features I've seen on an Elegant Angel release and hopefully their future releases will include similar quality efforts. The rest of the extras included a photogallery, some trailers, and spam with a double sided DVD cover for those who care.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Squirtwoman 3 was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director Patrick Collins for his company, Elegant Angel. I like the company but it tends to use minimal lighting which exaggerates the saturation of the colors, the grain, and the video not (not to mention the shadows). Still, this looked great compared to his earlier works and the technical qualities rarely weakened the passion between the performers (better work here might've enhanced it but that's all that would've happened). At least there were no compression artifacts to deal with and the composition of the shots was solid in all but two scenes. The 2.0 Dolby Digital stereo English audio track was as basic as ever with minimal separation (if any, I didn't hear any to speak of) and no significant dynamic range outside of the usual vocals you'd get from a gonzo production but I heard the cast (and only occasionally the background sounds).

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Body of Review: Patrick Collins was something of a leader in porn in his earlier days in the industry and helped start the careers of many others. Now that he's reigniting his company, he's become something of a maverick that attracts a certain crowd. He may not be the technical directing whiz some of the more recent directors have become and his ability to offer up something very different than anyone else limited but I have to give the guy credit for being able to offer up some good sex on camera. His latest release is Squirtwoman 3, starring the very cute Cytherea as a gal who pisses when she gets off. I'm not going to debate the merits of "squirting" over "pissing" since this is a review but I'll be the first to admit that Cytherea is among the top five gals in porn to perform on queue in this regard. If you like squirting, you'll want to see either her or competitor Flower Tucci, the two leaders in the field. That said, here's a brief look at the scenes of the movie, noting that no condoms were used and even Patrick got in on the action:

Scene One: Cytherea, the cutie on the front DVD cover, lean little Kat, and gap toothed Billy Glide were up first on the couch. Kat started warming him up but the true lead of the scene was easily Cytherea once the foreplay was over with. The star dominated the newcomer and the oral went rather well before the trio began screwing on the couch. Cytherea pissed like a race horse and made a mess of the affair though Kat seemed a bit taken back more than once when greeted with a face full of water induced urine. Kat was on hand to do some anal action and the scene, while not up to the best I've seen from director Collins, wasn't bad at all (and well worth a look or two).

Scene Two: Cytherea, looking made up and still as cute as a button, took on the massive Lee Stone next as they played around trying to determine when she would hire him next. He was huge compared to her lean frame and they seemed to work well enough together as they necked and made out a bit less than average. She wasn't able to handle more than a little bit of his penis in her throat before they boned vaginally to the point she turned on the waterworks. He did most of the work this time too which was sort of disappointing to me since I've seen her blazing hot on the small screen in the past. While she wasn't exactly lazy, this was a filler scene for me compared to the others and not worth a second look for anyone but slavering fanboys.

Scene Three: Cytherea, playing as a director on her set, had a very brief scene where studly Patrick Collins (okay, I like the guy as he's always been pretty amusing to me) jilled off the starlet to completion in a bed. It may not have been the best scene of the bunch either but it came across as realer than the last one and regular looking guys can fantasize that they're the ones stroking her to orgasm.

Scene Four: Tiana Lynn, Kinzie Kenner, Anna Mills, Claire Robbins, and Cytherea, were up next in a scene supposedly directed by Cytherea outdoors in the shade of the midday sun. They used tongues, toys, and fingers to get one another off as some onlookers were watching on the patio. I thought the camera work on this one was the weakest since it all too often focused on camera angles not complimentary to the women or their faces as they were getting slammed with plastic meat. Still, there was enough to like that I watched it twice and the gals seemed to get off for the most part. It continued in the living room as well but the energy levels dropped down a bit during this part of the scene as though the gals used everything they had outside.

Scene Five: Cytherea, always cute and cuddly, was then joined by very attractive Tiana Lynn, to have a scene with Billy Glide on the living room couch. Cytherea was much more active in the oral this time and the passionate blowjob she bestowed on him was far better than her earlier work in the show. That Tiana joined her so well was just icing on the cake so the screwing portions of the scene made it even better. There was a lot of pissing and the load went right to Tiana's face for those keeping track, swallowed along with Cytherea's wet finish. Yum!

Scene Six: Angela Stone, a bleached blonde gal with limited curves, Lexi Love, a gal that'd look right at home during at any frat party as the stripper, and aging lothario Randy Spears were up last in a scenario centered on cameraman William H. Nutsack recording a scene for his own movie. I found it curious that Cytherea wouldn't be in the final scene of the movie but a change of pace was needed after she left on a high note so I wasn't upset at the change from standard practice so much as curious. The gals were talented at fellatio, using their feet to jerk a guy off, and vaginal sex with the prerequisite squirting rather obvious too. In all, the scene was the second best of the movie in most ways and I thought they worked well together. Whew!

Summary: Squirtwoman 3 was definitely for fans of squirting but of limited value to the rest of us as the movie was so short and the action so standardized in most cases. A few scenes fell flat and I'm going to rate it as a Rent It unless you think the sun rises and sets on the lovely Cytherea (a possibility I can understand given her cute face and lean body). The extras added some value and I thought director Patrick Collins showed he still had some talent but the extraneous factors weakened the scenes for me more than a little bit, including some jarring edits. Give it a look if you're into Cytherea, squirting, or the other cast members but don't forget that Patrick's made better in recent years too.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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