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Internal Affairs

Studio: Wicked Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 11/18/05

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Internal Affairs

Wicked Pictures

Genre: Comedy

Director: Jonathan Morgan

Cast: Julia Ann, Randy Spears, Stormy Daniels, Brooke Haven, Lee Stone, Steven St. Croix, Venus, Tommy Gunn, Jack Lawrence, Kelli Tyler, Chris Cannon, Alana Evans; Cheyne Collins (bonus scene only)
Non-sex role by Michael Raven, Wankus, Bananaman

Length: 83.5 minutes

Date of Production: 4/10/2005

Extra's: For some of you, the best extra will be the bonus scene between Julia Ann and Cheyne Collins from Valley 911. I described it below but having already seen it; it had less value for me as an extra. I actually liked the All Access: The Making of Internal Affairs (behind the scenes) feature by Mark Stone and Dic Tracy better. It had the cast and crew goofing it up, providing anecdotes, and also in various states of undress. The other extras were more mundane and included various photogalleries, trailers, star stats, promotional reels, a Wicked Pictures catalog, DVD Rom materials like desktop pictures, award winners and nominations, all the usual batch of goodies, and a cardboard protective sleeve on the DVD case.

Condoms: Yes

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Audio/Video Quality: Internal Affairs was presented in a non-anamorphic widescreen color with a 1.85:1 ratio as directed by Jonathan Morgan for Wicked Pictures. The picture was very attractive this time, using lighting, camera angles, and a lot of skill to present a solid experience this time. There was very little grain, the fleshtones were accurate, and the composition of the shots was great in all but a single case (that zoomed in on a scar). If the picture had been presented in anamorphic widescreen, it would've been among the best video-shot production of the year. The audio was offered up with a choice of the usual 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround in English or a couple of dubbed 2.0 tracks (one in German and the other in Spanish). The audio seemed to be recorded in monaural but the music added in with the enhanced 5.1 set up since there was precious little separation this time (Wicked Pictures has been doing this for a while) though the dynamic range was pretty good. It was well recorded although I would've preferred having lighter music (lower levels) during the sex.

Body of Review: Valley 911 was one of my favorite comedies last year for good reason. The flick was inspired by the insipid cable comedy Reno 911 and the porn version was a great spoof on the show, as well as our favorite public servants. Long in need of a sequel, director Jonathan Morgan has now released Internal Affairs; a second take on cops that was even funnier than the first. I just hope Jonathan Morgan doesn't run into a real cop with a bad sense of humor but I really liked the bits where K-Sex DJ Wankus played a driver stopped by the leads, Julia Ann and Stormy Daniels, and put through the paces of a very interesting DWI traffic stop. There were other cute bits too but that one stood out for me. That said, here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that condoms were used but it was a fun ride all around:

Scene One: Julia Ann, looking better than she did on the left hand side of the front DVD cover, was up first as she had Randy Spears "buy her dinner" to convince her to have sex with him. It was a four star meal, complete with 20% tip, as the two made out on the comfy chair; kissing and groping before she gave him a sweet blowjob. Licking and pumping the shaft with her hand and mouth, I'd have popped off way before he did but he held out to get some of the pussy too. She actively worked him over by grinding her hips and riding him thoroughly before taking the pop shot to her lovely face.

Scene Two: Stormy Daniels, the world famous hotty on the right hand side of the front DVD cover, busty Brooke Haven, the massive Lee Stone, and talented Steven St. Croix were up next on a couch after the officers responded to a noise complaint. Having found themselves at a swinger's house, they served the public in another way with Stormy serving Lee (some hair pie) and Steven serving Brooke (a secret service revolver). The oral wasn't the best of the show but it served the purpose well enough to whet their appetites and the vaginal boning was even better. The gals were actively into the screwing here and that made it a great ride for all; ending with a couple of facials. While not extreme sex, it was fun and worth some credit for replay value.

Scene Three: Venus, playing a hooker with an uncanny sense of reality, took care of muscular Tommy Gunn and rastaman Jack Lawrence in the hotel room. I've never been a huge fan of the gal but she undeniably has some serious sexual talent, probably from years of studying techniques in private. She orally worked them over with a lot more energy then usual and they took turns boning her like the plaything she portrayed, hammering away at her pussy as she called for more. She then went into anal mode and bounced up and down before sucking them off to completion.

Scene Four: Kelli Tyler, a redhead with a lean body, and Chris Cannon, were up next in an alley as she sucked him off with gleeful abandon. He then porked her with her leg in the air (like she didn't care) which looked great except that lengthy scar of hers being zoomed in on. This went on for a moment until he popped his nut and the scene was shorter than I preferred.

Scene Five: Alana Evans, playing the screw from Internal Affairs trying to get he goods on the officers of the station, succumbed to the charms of Julia Ann like most sexually active humans would. The two blonds were in the office and took some time with one another as they kissed, rubbed, and otherwise probed one another with their tongues. It could've lasted longer but fans of lesbian action that doesn't involve toys will appreciate this one a lot.

Bonus Scene: Valley 911: "Julia Ann, the lead of the movie for good reason, finally got a chance to shine in the movie (she was the listed star). For those living under a rock for the last ten+ years, she's the hotty on the right side of the front DVD cover (with clear blue eyes). Her curves came in handy as she seduced Cheyne Collins in the interrogation room; stripping him and rubbing him before giving him a great blowjob. Anyone that needs proof that a gal with a couple years on her body can't be better sexually than women (girls) half her age, need only watch Julia go at it in this scene. After he returned the oral pleasure to her, the couple screwed with a small measure of intensity (the oral was the best part of the scene), ending it with her going back down on him and jerking off a load to her lovely face."

Summary: Internal Affairs was a hilarious look at the wonderful world of police as seen through the keen eye of director Jonathan Morgan for Wicked Pictures. If you like to laugh as you watch your porn, this was a nice movie to catch. It may not have been as extensive as Jonathan's Camp Cuddly Pines but it was easily worth a decent rating. I gave it a Recommended although if there had been a better running time (it was well under 90 minutes) and more extras, I'd have boosted it another notch. Julia Ann and Stormy Daniels both looked great, the acting was better than the cable show that inspired the movies, and I look forward to seeing more glimpses into the perverted mind of Jonathan Morgan in the future (especially this series since it was a hoot!). Internal Affairs was a small comedic gem that will appeal to most viewers of comedy and porn.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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