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Spring Chickens #13

Studio: Diabolic » Review by The Mooninite » Review Date: 12/2/05

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

The Movie:

The latest entry from Diabolic Video drags out six more newbies to do their thing on camera for you, following the same format set up in the earlier entries in the series. There's no plot, no real setup, just sex, though the girls are asked a few questions before the copulation begins where they're given a chance to introduce themselves and explain who they are and where they're from.

Chapter 1 Leah Luv And Sascha: After Leah's finished running up and down the hall making chicken noises, Sascha takes his cock out for her to suck. She deep throats him and gags on him a bit, before moving into the bedroom where he pulls her mouth open and spits into it. She gags on his dick again, then rides him reserve cowgirl. She switches up and rides him cowgirl so that he can stick a few fingers up her ass, and then she blows him again before riding him anally reverse cowgirl. There's a few ass to mouth moments then he's got her on all fours fucking her ass doggy style. He pulls out and puts it into her mouth, pulling on her pigtails as she tells him it tastes like pastrami, and then he belches and spits into her mouth again. After that charming interlude he sodomizes her again, before pulling out and shooting into her mouth. Leah's a cute girl, but the sex in this scene was rendered completely impotent with the spitting and the forcing open of her mouth. It didn't look in the least bit erotic when that was going on, and instead turned out to be a complete boner killing moment.

Chapter 2 Sophie Dee And Brian Surewood: After Sophie explains how her mother was a whore and how she's sure that she'd be proud of her for fucking on camera, she gives Brian head. She gets on top of him and rides him cowgirl, stopping every few seconds to talk to the camera about her mother to the point where it becomes redundant and obnoxious. Sophie looks great in this scene, she really does, and she fucks like a champ but the constant mugging for the camera and talking about her mother is completely irritating. To make matters worse, there are a couple of spots in this scene where audio repeats itself. At any rate, he lifts her up and fucks her that way for a few minutes, then lays back so he can get into her missionary style. She bends over and he fucks her doggy style and slaps her ass a bit, then it's back into his mouth before she rides him reverse cowgirl style again. She gets on her back with her legs behind her head and he pile drives her snatch for a bit, but that's all he can take so he pulls out and jerks into her face, as she's still going on and on about her mother and laughing like she's all whacked out on crank. Sophie would have been really hot if she'd have just shut up for a second or two.

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Chapter 3 Cindy Sterling, Brian Surewood, And Joe Rock: Cindy isn't the most attractive girl in the universe and making her squawk like a chicken doesn't do her any favors. Once they've made fun of her a bit, she spreads her ass and then gives the guys head, both at the same time. From there, Brian moves in to fuck her doggy style while she blows Joe, and they play around with a few variations on this for a little bit. She then rides Joe reverse cowgirl style, then lays back for missionary fucking, always with another cock in her mouth. Brian shifts gears on her and puts it into her ass, and then she climbs up top for more of the same. After they've switched it up a few times, moving from ass to mouth and back again, they pull out of her and jack off into her face.

Chapter 4 Marissa Marcelle, Brian Surewood And Steven French: Marissa's a very pretty girl who is also made to make chicken noises to introduce her scene. Once that nonsense is over with, she starts to suck the guys off, first one, then the other, then back and fourth between the two of them. She gets on top of one of the guys and rides him cowgirl, showing off her kilt-clad ass (a nice touch), and sucking off the other dude, periodically breaking into Spanish. She takes it doggy, then reverse cowgirl, as the guys take turns fucking her and letting her suck them off. After that's been done for a bit they pull out and come into her mouth, ending a pretty solid scene as you would expect them to. Marissa looks very nice from start to finish and while some of the comments relating to her Spanish heritage take you out of the mood a bit, she seems to be having fun in the scene which makes a big difference.

Chapter 5 Katie Rae, Brian Surewood, And Johnny Fender: Again, Katie has to make chicken noises before the show starts, and it's irritating. Once that's done she starts to finger herself for the camera until the two guys come into the frame, at which point she starts to suck them off and at one point takes two cocks into her mouth at the same time (they make her try and sing the Star Spangled Banner while this is going on). After the oral fun, she gets on top of Johnny and rides him with Brian's cock in her mouth. From here they waste no time at all going straight to the double penetration action, with her still riding him cowgirl style. There's some ass to mouth interludes, but the rest of the scene is more or less DP all the way. It all ends when the guys pull out, she asks for some cum, and they shoot into her mouth. If you like DP action, this scene fits the bill, and Katie's fun to look at which is always a treat. By the fifth time in, however, the 'act like a chicken' shit is getting really old.

Chapter 6 Sierra Sinn, Brian Surewood And Kirk James: She starts the scene off with an interview, explaining how she would suck her step-dad's dick when she was fourteen. Classy. She says hi to her mom and then goes down on the two guys. She takes on cock in her beaver doggy style, then sucks the other guy off. From here she moves onto his dick reverse cowgirl, sucking the other guy and bouncing around. Eventually after they switch up a few times she gets down on all fours for a DP sequence, with a bunch of ass to mouth action and back and fourth switching. Once that's done, they go back plugging one hole at a time until they're ready to blow, and the pull out and come on her face.



The feature was shot on video but the quality of the image remains pretty stable on this DVD. Colors are well defined and don't bleed into each other as a lot of shot on video productions do. There is some mild edge enhancement and a few darker scenes exhibit some mpeg compression artifacts but these are few and far between for the most part. Overall, Spring Chickens #13 has a decent picture, though not a great one by any stretch.


The Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo mix is of pretty decent quality. Background music, minimalist as it is, has been mixed in properly against the recorded sounds from the sex scenes and I didn't notice any hiss or distortion present on the track at all. There were a couple of spots where the background music did get just a little bit too loud and some of the dialogue levels fluctuate in the mix but it didn't last long and the only reason I really picked up on it was because I was listening for discrepancies in the first place. The mix on this DVD is very fine.


Extras include scene selection, a cum shot recap feature, a web-link, a photo gallery, and a behind the scenes featurette that has some interviews with the girls in a more candid environment. There's a lot of random footage in here with Cindy who even BBQ's steaks at one point, it's kind of odd. The rest of the girls are in here too (except for Sophia and Leah), giving interviews and talking about their sexual experiences from the past and what not.

Final Thoughts:

This one had potential but it was just too much in terms of the degradation and what I can only assume was an attempt at comedy. Most of the girls are average as is most of the sex, though Marissa's scene is really good. One scene isn't enough though, and the extra features don't really add enough extra value to this release to rate it higher than a skip it, which is exactly the label I'm slapping on Spring Chickens #13.

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