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Mr. Camel Toe


Studio: Bang Bros » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/7/05



XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Mr. Camel Toe

Bang Bros

Genre: Gonzo

Director: Cesar

Cast: Angelina, Johnny, Dasani, Alex, Jordan, Monique, Nicole, Shyra

Length: 176.5 minutes

Dates of Production: 2/18/2005, 3/22/2005, 2/23/2005, 2/17/2005, 3/3/2005, 3/20/2005

Extra's: The only extras were some trailers, photogalleries, and the box covers to other Bang Bros movies. While that sucked in terms of extras, it was balanced against a lengthy set of scenes lasting nearly three hours.

Condoms: Yes

Audio/Video Quality: Mr. Camel Toe was presented in the same 1.33:1 ratio full frame color it was shot in by director Cesar for Bang Brothers to distribute. The lighting was substandard and that caused some grain, shadows, and other visual defects (like a problem with clearly focusing). The composition of the shots was not always very favorable to the women since Cesar came off more like a guy testing out his new camera than a professional pornographer but some people like the unpolished, raw look such a presentation will give this kind of show. There were no compression artifacts added by the DVD mastering process but it was never a great looking show. The audio was presented in 2.0 PCM (pulse code modulated) form with no separation between the channels and limited dynamic range. The mix of levels was weak and some background noise was a frequent guest during the show. I know using the microphone attached to the camera makes such a show easy but it sounds like crap so maybe future outings will improve on this aspect of the production.

Body of Review: Fans of the Bang Brothers website will probably like the fact that the company is now producing DVDs of the footage typically seen on the website. Their latest offering I got hold of was Mr. Camel Toe, a show about the mounds of a woman's labia when her shorts or underwear are pulled up between the folds of her lips. I've seen a lot of this type of thing in the past but rarely with the amateur angle the brothers' use so I gave this one a shot. Here's a breakdown of the scenes by cast and action, noting that condoms were used and only those of you wanting fresh meat (regardless of talent) will care for:

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Scene One: Angelina, a "stripper next door" type of gal with light hair and a very pronounced cameltoe, was up first in a scene with Johnny after some introduction in the hotel room lobby. She seemed extra shy and unwilling to answer questions but quite anxious to get on up to the room as they walked down the hallways to their room. After a lot more teasing with her shorts being pulled up her crotch, she finally started slobbing his knob around the twenty minute mark. Yeah, 20 minutes!!! In any case, her mouth was no stranger to sucking cock but she wasn't as practiced as some of the professional performers so if seeing an attainable gal slob the knob of a freaky looking guy is your thing, you'll be in heaven here. They then screwed vaginally with a condom in a yellow chair before he popped his nut in her mouth and on her face in this 33+ minute long scene. There wasn't any chemistry and her "deer in the headlight" look was distracting but as amateur porn, it wasn't bad.

Scene Two: Dasani, a brunette sunning herself on a lounge chair outside a large hotel, teased partner Alex; a guy who reminded me of a younger version of Tony T. He put on his best mack attack and went over to talk to her; trying to convince her to come up to the room to help them find their missing cameltoe. She claimed that she hadn't seen any camels around and seemed to continue the theme started in the last scene of a stripper in an early porn scene (perhaps testing the waters). She had a large, rounded ass and strong legs with a slightly more attractive face then Angelina so the tease footage wasn't bad. She tried on several outfits and eventually got to orally pleasing Alex at the 10 minute mark for the scene. She seemed fairly skilled at oral, sucking him off like she was trying to convince her sugar daddy to give her a nice Christmas present, and pumped her ass in the air to achieve a solid tease effect. They screwed vaginally although her comments about his size were so fake as to defy description. She was playful though and even if it looked like she was so large in her pussy that she could barely feel him, I liked the scene (mechanical comments and all). He wore a condom, popped on her face at the end, and I'd like to see more of her if she'll learn to be more convincing.

Scene Three: Jordan, another brunette but this time far skinnier, was lounging by the pool at the hotel when Alex and Cesar joined her. Alex was again the partner and she seemed willing to play with him although her cameltoe suffered due to her lack of curves. They teased on a fluffy yellow chair and she gave the usual show which would've worked better if she didn't have so many ass zits on parade. Alex went down on her at almost 22 minutes into the scene and she looked like it was her first blowjob after that. They screwed vaginally with a condom for the rest of the ~33.5 minute long scene and he let loose a large load onto her face and upper torso. The same lack of passion and interest infected this scene as the others but again, fans of amateur work might appreciate it.

Scene Four: Monique, a Latina gal outside the back of a store open 24 hours, offered up a different approach when her large ass was placed on display (much to her chagrin). I liked her face but if someone told her to "haul ass" she'd have to make a second, perhaps third, trip. She wore a shirt saying Italia but she seemed more Latina than Italian; neither of which mattered to partner Alex. She seemed ill at ease with her body but willing to suck him off in record time for this show, slobbing his knob starting at the 3 minute mark. He went down on her too and they were boning by the 14 minute mark in her pussy, with a condom, by the window. I liked how the cameltoe action was incorporated into the rest of the scene this time instead of offered up all at once but you know there's a problem when the guy has to hold the condom onto his dick to keep it from falling off. It ended with a popped nut on her face at about the 27 minute mark and wasn't bad.

Scene Five: Nicole, the gal on the left hand side of the front DVD cover (second from the bottom) was skinny but flexible as she stretched on the lawn of the hotel during spring break. She looked like a professional and had some extra years on her (or the sun had damaged her skin to the point she simply looked older) but she kept up a playful nature that I appreciated more than a little bit. I'd buy a lap dance from her thanks to her positive attitude but she seemed stoned during the scene and I'm not into that. Her partner was Alex and the two went through the usual motions with a lot of tease at the beginning of the scene before they began boning around the 14:45 minute mark (it was an abrupt edit too). He was slamming it into her pussy and the microphone was too close to the action so it sounded way too loud compared to the vocals. She was an active rider but I wondered where the oral footage went and he was in need of a tan compared to her body (he was frog belly white and she was not so it made him look creepier than usual). He popped on her face and chest but she seemed dazed at the end.

Scene Six: Shyra, the best looking gal of the movie as seen on the lower left hand corner of the front DVD cover, wore an outfit that reminded me of a Hooter's uniform. They didn't play in the lobby and they would have done so in the elevator but initially, people were in there with them. Alex wanted to pork her so bad he was nearly speechless and the tease footage was actually pretty hot. She claimed to be from Denver and had the most potential to succeed in mainstream porn in my eyes. The action was about the same as always but she would have to take a few lessons before getting into the big leagues as she let him do most of the work here. Still, I could name off several of the biggest stars in the porn industry that have made a lot of money based on looks alone so if she ever decides to make it big, she'll have a good start. Oral and vaginal sex with a condom were the acts and it ended with the facial as expected. For me, it saved the movie but I was puzzled why she wasn't featured on the front DVD cover given her healthy good looks.

Summary: Mr. Camel Toe did seem to have some merit in terms of providing the advertised cameltoe footage more than any other release I've seen to date, all of it from larger companies too. In this respect, the movie was a great success. In terms of the cast (male and female) the results were far less interesting with only a couple gals appealing on anything resembling a replay oriented show. There was a lot of cameltoe for the buck (limited fuck for the buck though) and the technical values were about as good as the lame extras yet I know some of you will find this one appealing beyond my suggestion. That said, for most of you, a rating of Rent It will be fair but fans of amateur porn will find it a lot more appealing so check it out.

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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon



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