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Hot Squirts

Studio: Bad Seed » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/19/05

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Hot Squirts

Adam & Eve/Bad Seed

Genre: Squirting

Director: Roy Karch

Cast: Cytherea, Randy Spears, Tiana Lynn, Nick Jacobs, Missy Monroe, Tony Tedeschi, Lily Thai, Kelly Wells, Lee Stone

Length: 103.5 minutes

Date of Production: 8/19/2005 (box); 3/11/2005 (credits)

Extra's: For many of you, the best extra will be the bonus scene from the movie Jiggly Juggs between Alicia Rhodes and Frank Gunn. It lasted the better part of 23 minutes and had lots of variety in the action, including anal, but the technical matters were on the lame side. I preferred the 36.5 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Dic Tracy and Richard Monfort as it gave me a chance to see a lot of aspects of the making of the movie; spending a fair amount of time showing nudity, sex and interviews by the ladies. There was also a photogallery, some trailers, and a cardboard protective sleeve on the DVD case.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Hot Squirts was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as originally shot by director Roy Karch for Adam & Eve. It was a basic shoot with decent lighting most of the time that limited the grain and other visual flaws but the color saturation looked orange in many scenes, distracting me a whole lot for enjoying the action. The composition of the shots wasn't always favorable to the look of the ladies but this time he couldn't blame it on the cast since many of them were seasoned, attractive, professionals in the prime of their careers. There were no compression artifacts though so at least the DVD mastering process didn't add to the woes of the production and most people would consider it okay for a low budget release. The audio was presented in a basic 2.0 Dolby Digital stereo that made little use of separation and the quality of the DVD format but I could hear the vocals and the music was only sort of lame this time.

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Body of Review: With squirting all the rage these days, making movies like Supersquirt 2, Squirtwoman 3, and Flower's Squirt Shower 2 very popular, I try to remember a time not long ago when gals didn't feel the need to drink excessive amounts of water and piss in order to get work in a porno. I'm not going to delve into the medical community's opinion of squirting any deeper than to say that gushing female ejaculation doesn't exist but as a fantasy you should enjoy what you want to enjoy and not worry about labels. Today's review in this genre is Hot Squirts, a Roy Karch riff where he takes some gals that are well known in squirting circles and offers them up for your viewing pleasure. Here's a breakdown of the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used:

Scene One: Cytherea, the gal on the front DVD cover, was up first after she interrupted a game of pool by studly porn veteran Randy Spears. Her skimpy little outfit on her boyish body seemed to work for him and the two started in on one another right away. She climbed up on the table to masturbate and was soon turning on the waterworks although the usual oral and vaginal sex took place too. Cytherea's definitely an acquired taste for those of you that like women to look like women, curves and all, but she's been a leader in pissing videos (sorry, I meant "squirting" videos…cough) over the last few years so I can see why Roy started off with her. Fans may even get a kick out of how she tried to shave her pubic hair into a "C" formation but the scene was on the overdone side as most of her work has been.

Scene Two: Tiana Lynn, a cutie with light hair, glasses, and a form fitting body stocking, was up next as she pissed all over the stairs while masturbating with a glass dildo. This attracted partner Nick Jacobs to offer up his meat pipe which she intensely sucked and worked over like the kind of gal I'd like to meet. Her eyes were so pretty that they could've probably coaxed out a load all on their own but he wanted to sample that fine pussy too. She was an active rider and that enhanced the scene even more, giving her reason to piss again before some more vaginal antics. In all, it was a fine scene despite the pissing action and technical limitations that made it look too orangey.

Scene Three: Missy Monroe, wearing a purple mesh body stocking, was up next with greasy Tony Tedeschi by the fireplace. She lay down to give him a show as she masturbated, dousing him thoroughly before he went down on her (spending lots of time on her asshole). She reciprocated with oral on his shaft and balls but the scene didn't get even passably interesting until she began screwing him. Sadly, as good as she can be sexually, she was a lazy fuck this time and had him do all the work so the scene barely rated as worthy of a look. One of the problems with watching a highly talented gal like Missy is that when she's having an off day, a guy like me will still be evaluating her against her better body of work.

Scene Four: Lily Thai and Cytherea, were next up in the kitchen as the two played with one another in a lesbian scene. Dressed in chef hats and aprons, they used food like whipped cream to taste one another with, leading to the usual squirting and playful antics you'd expect of two talented individuals. To Lily's benefit, her body was slightly curvier than Cytherea's so I didn't get turned off but the scene in general was a snoozer unless you're in the mood for some food play.

Scene Five: Flower Tucci, the world renowned anal queen with a nice big fleshy ass, was up next as she teased the camera in her neon blue lingerie and black fishnet stockings. She jilled herself to a wet start in the bathroom; after which she was joined by Johny Zinn who gave her some fine head for the show she provided. She returned the oral pleasure to him with a short but sweet blowjob and the two were bumping uglies in no time after that. There was more pissing and he went back to boning her for a bit but the camera angle wasn't all that observant so while it looked like vaginal sex to me, others might claim she did some anal. Still, whatever the limitations imposed by bad technical work, Flower is always a hot performer and this scene was the best of the batch in many ways.

Scene Six: Kelly Wells, a slightly freaky redhead, was wearing red lingerie as she sat on the bed while partner Lee Stone slept. She used a vibrator and did the deed until he woke up to find her ready for his sexual attention. This led to a standard oral and vaginal sex scene in bed with her pissing during the screwing. She's long been hit or miss with me so consider this one of the misses on her part. Fans will like her more than I did though but it was a generic scene this time so don't get too excited about it.

Summary: Hot Squirts had some heated action at times, primarily Flower and Tiana's scenes, and a limited amount of fuck for the buck. In terms of value, it wasn't all that special although I'll be the first to admit that Adam & Eve has grown substantially in recent years with regard to providing consumers whatever kink they sought out so that alone might be reason to support their continued efforts to reach a more mainstream audience then their typical couples fare. Roy seemed to be missing some of the technical savvy he usually shows during the recording of this one but I'll be the first to admit that I've been acquainted with folks that thought he was "almost as good as Bud Lee" (I wasn't sure if they were complimenting him or not though). In general terms, if you really like the cast, check this one out as a Rent It if you're still interested.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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