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Tex-Ass Hole 'Em

Studio: Colossal Entertainment » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 12/20/05

XCritic's Advice: Highly Recommended

Tex-Ass Hole 'Em

Colossal Entertainment

Genre: Gonzo

Director: Dan Silver

Cast: Tory Lane, Kurt Lockwood, Eva Angelina, Tommy Gunn, Sara Stone, Katja Kassin, Justin Magnum, Sandra Romain, Sascha

Length: 124 minutes

Date of Production: 5/30/2005, 5/31/2005

Extra's: The best extra was the nearly 9 minute long Behind the Scenes feature that had the ladies posing and otherwise goofing around in front of the camera. Otherwise, the only extra was a photogallery of limited merit.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Tex-Ass Hole 'Em was presented in the typical 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director Dan Silver for Colossal Entertainment. I'm more familiar with his work on BTS features elsewhere but he's grown into a capable director in most ways of late. The lighting was decent, the grain and other visual flaws minimal, and the composition of the shots was almost always favorable to the ladies in the scenes here. There were some rough edges observed but I could count on one hand the number of times that I'd do something significantly different than he did. The audio was presented in stereo English but there were some minor background noises and variations on the levels of the vocals, proving a bit more work was needed on the audio than the visuals for the DVD.

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Body of Review: Today's review of Dan Silver's Tex-Ass Hole 'Em was fairly easy to write since most of the scenes were a lot of fun to watch. The ladies were among the best in porn these days, the technical matters above average, and the direction of the variations of sexual conduct (or is that misconduct?) that made this latest offering by director Dan Silver a joy to watch so here's a breakdown of the scenes by cast and actions, noting that no condoms were used at all rather than a lot of blathering about unrelated matters:

Scene One: Tory Lane, the hot brunette babe on the upper left hand corner of the front DVD cover, was up first in a scene with Kurt Lockwood as the two played cards with some high stakes. Kurt decided to make things interesting and raise the stakes even higher by betting everything he had against her best assets. She lost so she paid up by jumping into his lap and kissing him before dragging him into the other room where he could collect his prize. Her blowjob was very skillful and the screwing in both her pussy and ass as fine as I expected it to be given the manner in which she has appeared in several recent movies. That the two had chemistry and passion was just a bonus in some ways but fans of rough sex will appreciate how well these two handled that stuff too. In short, the scene was solid from beginning to end and a great way to start the movie.

Scene Two: Eva Angelina, the hotty on the upper right hand side of the front DVD cover, was up next in a scene with muscular Tommy Gunn. The two were playing cards with Kurt and Sara (see the next scene) and a similar set of circumstances ensued where Eva and Tommy ended up together in the back room. She was playful and happy to have lucked out to be with him and went to work on his meat pipe as though it were a long lost friend in need of a scabbard to sheath itself. Needless to say, the first place it went was deep inside her mouth and throat as she proved to be an even better oralist than Tory this time but her hand to gland action added some measure of excitement to the scene too. The sex eventually ended up with him boinking her fine little pussy and tearing into it with the greatest of desire, a fact that I could identify with given her look and positive attitude. While she didn't do anal, her taste testing was nearly as good as Tory's and the titty fuck added to the variety of the scene. The scene ended with the usual pop shot to her face and was even better on average than the first one. Whew!

Scene Three: Sara Stone, the large breasted gal on the lower right hand corner of the front cover was naturally up next in a scene with Kurt Lockwood as they continued their game together. She may not be as fresh and cute as the last two gals but her ample chest and newness to porn combined to make her well worth a look too. She had fewer than average blemishes as well and while her sexual skills relied more on her curvy body than talent, she seemed to be appreciative of his attentions. Her titty fucking proved to be her strong point although she could also handle his penis vaginally fairly well. Still, she was lazy compared to the first two gals and let him do most of the work and that limited the penetration portions of the scene to a single view for me. It ended when he dropped a load into her eye and on her chest but even though she got better as the scene progressed, it was too little, too late to save it.

Scene Four: Katja Kassin, the world's leading anal queen these days with few peers, was up next as she played cards with a group of misfits intent on sampling her goodies as most of us would be. Justin Magnum won the hand and her body; a fact that wasn't lost on her as she bent over for him to service her ass. He played with her ass and the two enjoyed oral and anal more than anything else. To watch her take him on was like poetry in motion and while I'll always prefer her with neon red hair, her brunette look was a nice change of pace too. Her enthusiasm and passion were top notch and all the anal tricks at her disposal were employed to make the scene a winner. I know she has had a couple of mediocre scenes in recent months but this was a return to her at her best and I liked the scene a whole lot. Yum!

Scene Five: Sandra Romain, the spunky brunette that is known for having no sexual limits in her extensive sexual resume, was up last with Sascha; both following the formulaic card game motif as they played for high stakes. She may have lacked the facial attractiveness of Tory and Eva as well as the round rump of Katja but her scene was another solid offering to prove her skill as a performer. All three holes were used by her to milk his load and she proved a very capable sex worker here with some measure of spark. The call on chemistry was a bit more difficult to make but I'd split the hair and suggest she was happy to work with him more than not and the scene ended as expected with a pop shot to her face that she swallowed down.

Summary: Tex-Ass Hole 'Em was a very enjoyable flick for me for many reasons and I thought it was worth a rating of Highly Recommended. The ladies were top flight hotties, the technical aspects of the movies above average, and the level of fuck for the buck better than I expected before watching the DVD. I would've liked to see some better extras and a few more polished up scenes but the raw energy of the majority of scenes will keep you stroking for a very long time. The card game idea was disposable but the sex was well worth checking out if you have even the slightest appreciation of Katja, Eva, Tory or Sandra. To sum it up, the various aspects of the show added up to a full house (of hotties!).

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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