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Off The Rack 3

Studio: DVSX » Review by Disco Dirge » Review Date: 12/23/05

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Genre: Straight Feature
Director: Alex Ladd
Cast:: Michelle B., Sara Stone, Brooke, Havana Ginger, Carly Kaleb, Mason Storm, Nick Manning, Reno, Marco Duarto, Talon, Van Damage
Length: 125 mins
Production Date: 2005

In a Nutshell - Nicely Done with Some Excellent Visual Styling
Offered in a clean and crisp 1.33:1 full screen image, Off the Rack #3 looks very good. Colors are correct, which translates into fine fleshtones and an excellent visual vibrancy, and the details are equally sufficient, meaning the contrasts are nicely balanced. While this is not some Ninn Worx extravaganza or professionally lit optical epic, it is still some good looking adult entertainment.

In a Nutshell - An Interesting Behind The Scenes Featurette
It's rare when we get to see onset sex bloopers, but Off the Rack #3 offers up five whole minutes of Behind the Scenes "boners". Nick Manning gets winded...Reno pulls a muscle...Mason can't manage Van's 'damage'...Brooke eats a donut while waiting on her "partner". It's all very entertaining and insightful, something more Making-Of featurettes should strive for. Also, if you're interested in solo scenes, each gals get an individual masturbation moment. They are fetching, but limited in their 'firmness' fun. Finally, you can see three trailers or skim through the photo gallery - in other words, you can sample the basic DVD extras of your typical porn title.

First Impressions:
It's tit time again as DVSX presents six scenes of excellence sex where breasts are the primary passion of the camera's longing lens. Some of the jugs here are newly bought and positively perky, while others have that welcoming underarm droop that indicates their yummy natural state. This sextet of gals is paired with some potent peter and the result is passionate porn with a great deal of hardcore heat. The only annoying element of this otherwise exceptional set of smut is the desire to actually TALK to the girls before the balling begins. Our director will stop the cabaret and let his camera wander in close as he asks a lot of lame questions that really have nothing to do with the dynamics of dicking. It's just an excuse to pad the running time of each scene.

The Sex Scenes:
All pointless yakking aside, these are some stellar XXX sequences. Sure, Nick Manning still has variable verbal diarrhea, a few of the femmes are equally effusive in their randiness responses, and we do witness the occasionally oversized areola (Havana) or inverted nipple (Brooke). Still the level of lewdness is palpable and the overall arousal rating is high. Individually, here are the scenes offered:

Scene 1: Michelle B., Nick Manning
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Interview, Nipple Play, Tit Play, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Blowjob, Ball Action, Mish, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl, $hot in Mouth
Score: 3.5 out of 5

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Nick Manning has his fans, but to the Dirge, he's a meat puppet magpie who should keep his cornball trap closed and simply stick to fucking. In combination with the equally vocal Ms. B, this is one decibel deafening scene. If Nick's not over enunciating the bleeding obvious ("I'm FUUUUUCKING you baby"), Michelle is mewing like a wounded wombat with its leg half chewed off. This freakish shriek show is almost unwatachable - good thing the eros is so electric. Nick and Mich make a very good couple, and they mesh together well to bring out the best in each other. The result is strong, powerful porn. Without all the hobbling aural histrionics, this sequence would rate much, much higher.

Scene 2: Sara Stone, Reno
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Interview, Tit Play, Tit Fucking, Blowjob, Face Fucking, Mish, V to M, Reverse Cowgirl, Doggy, $hot on Tits, Oral Cleanup
Score: 3.5 out of 5
In another near perfect pairing, the bulky buffoonery of the Iron Curtain's own Reno is matched quite well by the "let's get busy" looks of Ms. Stone. When they get to fucking the fire is fierce. Since the gals and their occasionally amazing mommy bags are the stars of this show, director Ladd does a nice job of leaving the hired cock outside the frame and focusing instead on the pendulous pretties bobbing and wobbling before us. With some excellent tool timing by both parties and an obvious personal connection between the couple, this is electrifying erotica. It is guaranteed to get your glands going.

Scene 3: Brooke, Marco Duarto
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Interview, Tit Sucking, Blowjob, Ball Action, Salad Tossing, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, V to M, Cunnilingus, Scissors, Spoon, Mish, $hot on Face and Tits
Score: 3 out of 5
Marco is the master of the underbite (his jaw is so out of whack he probably has permanent TMJ) yet, thankfully, Ladd keeps his mangled mandible off camera as Brooke's bouncing body takes center stage. Very aggressive and really into the sex, Ms. B even makes us forget about her rather gnarly nipples. On the downside, the scene eventually becomes a possible position-athon as we move rapidly and rather abruptly from doggy to reverse cowgirl to scissors. Even with some oral action in between, it feels like the director is standing off to the side and yelling "switch" every few minutes. Had he let each shaft in snatch sequence play out naturally, this would be another excellent offering. As it stands, it's just above average.

Scene 4: Havana Ginger, Reno
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Interview, Tit Play, Blowjob, Tit Fucking, Fingering, Mish, Reverse Cowgirl, V to M, Spoon, Scissors, Anal Pile Driver, Straight Anal, $hot in Mouth, Oral Clean-up
Score: 3 out of 5
Poor Ms. Ginger. She's got wall-eyed breasts that seem made up mostly of oversized areolas. They're a deep chocolate brown and distract from the fuck and suck each and every time they are viewed. While still a fairly fetching Latina lass, these enlarged boob buttons are just plain odd. Reno doesn't care, however, giving this Havana honey a good going over in the massive member department. By the time they are done doing the dumper - Ms. Ginger is the only actress into anal in the set - we have almost forgotten about those perplexing dirty pillows...almost.

Scene 5: Carly Kaleb, Talon
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Interview, Body Licking, Blowjob, Tit Fucking, Fingering, Doggy, Ass Grabbing, V to M, Reverse Cowgirl, Hairy Bush Fu, Scissors, Mish, $hot on Tits, Oral Cleanup
Score: 3.5 out of 5
Leave it to TT Boy's bro to show us how it's done. Talon takes what is otherwise a standard scene and bumps it up a few naughty notches with his obvious desire to make Ms. Kaleb feel all warm and loved. He licks her from head to toe and then boffs the bejesus out of her for good measure. The scene is so steamy and sensual that you just know something is going to come along and mess it up. For some, the 'it' will be Carly's unclipped beaver - about as hairy as the animal the slang term is derived from. Others will find the rather routine positions to be a legitimate letdown. But it might just be that boy wants girl, while girl is rather nonplused by the whole prospect. Whatever the rationale, this is still a sizzler.

Scene 6: Mason Storm, Van Damage
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Interview, Tit Play, Blowjob, Ball Action, Face Fucking, Cunnilingus, Spoon, Reverse Cowgirl, Doggy, V to M, Cowgirl, Tit Fucking, $hot on Chest
Score: 2.5 out of 5
Mason is such a tiny thing - short wasted and very stacked - that you wonder how she'll manage some of the more 'athletic' scenes that smut requires. The answer, sadly, is not very well. When she's on her back or on her knees, she's a potent partner for Mr. VD (dude, change those initials right away!!!). But the minute she is supposed to take the superior position, her squat little gams let her down. She balances precariously on Mr. Damage's dick during reverse cowgirl and has an equally difficult time of the cowgirl copulation. Too bad - she's a pretty and petite porn pistol. Apparently, size matters for the ladies as well.

Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating: 3.5 out of 5 (Recommended)
Cohabitation Certification: Granted
Easily one of the better titles the Dirge has seen in the last couple of months, Off the Rack #3 really radiates in its mammary-based balling. The gals are all attractive (for the most part) and each one is capable of some real carnal delights. The only downside here is the endless cabaret and interview elements. They last far too long within the parameters of the porno, wasting valuable fuck and suck time. Otherwise, this is a sensual and passionate production with lots of memorable moments and dick stiffening dynamics. Couples will also enjoy the steamy sex scenes and interpersonal interaction between the performers.

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