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Backseat Bangers Vol. 4

Studio: Pink Visual Productions » Review by Disco Dirge » Review Date: 12/23/05

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Genre: Gonzo Feature
Director: ???
Cast:: Karina, Carrie, Veronica, Erin, Domino, Sierra, Van Damage, Reno, Various Others
Length: 155 mins
Production Date: 2005

In a Nutshell - Completely Amateurish All Around
If you like hand held camcorder creations where occasional whiting out and focus issues can occur, then this terrible title will definitely be your cup of tainted tea. Granted, filming fuck and suck in a moving vehicle where agility is tested and space is limited can be tricky - now imagine adding inventive positions to the mix. That's why most porn is shot on location, or on sets. It takes skill and dexterity to make this kind of carnality sizzle. Sadly, this title is a droopy dud in the direction department. The 1.33:1 full frame fiasco is faded, blurry and often hampered by lots of handheld camera chaos.

In a Nutshell - Trailers and Ads - Whoopee-Fucking-Doo
Talk about your crappy packaging - Pink Visual fails to deliver even a basic adult DVD with this pathetic release. Three trailers and some website ads do not make for valuable supplementary content. Instead, it represents cheap shit tactics at their most egregious. Points are instantly deducted for the lack of standard additions and other digital goodness.

First Impressions:
How dumb does Pink Visual Productions think the average porn fan is? They advertise Backseat Bangers #4 as "100% Real Hardcore Backseat Pickups", implying that this is an authentic look at ladies who don't mind fucking complete strangers in the back of a moving vehicle for the promise of fame - or in this case, a few hundred bucks. Yes, the premise is just that pathetic. A couple of goofs (including at least one certified adult industry meat puppet) pull up to local California malls and chat up the babes, sweating them to give up the goods. When cash is waved at their coot, it's not long before drawers are dropped and salads are tossed. None of the girls here are newbies, though. Heck, Kari Sable alone has made 60+ films (she's referred to as 'Carrie' here). The same goes for so-called innocents Domino, Erin Moore and Karina. This is just typical XXX action with a mini-van substituting for a palatial valley mansion. What a terrible trade off.

The Sex Scenes:
Believable balling between professional actors is hard enough to realize - doing it in the backseat of your Mom's mini-van (nicknamed the "Muff Mobile" - ha ha) is near impossible. As a result, the sex is robotic and simple, with positions piled on for the sake of variety only. Only two of the performers here show any real desire to be doing it in a car (Karina and Domino) while the others are perplexed by the prospect of having their head shoved into automotive upholstery. Individually, there is very little spice or specialness to the hardcore, and at least to this critic, the vehicular variable and faux fix-ups are just plain stupid. Here's an individual breakdown:

Scene 1: Karina, Some Dork
Acts Performed: Endless Talking, Kissing, Stripping, Blowjob, Tit Fucking, Cunnilingus, Fingering, Underwear Fu, Undie V to M, Cowgirl, Spoon, Mish, Doggy, Ass Slapping, Chocking, Reverse Cowgirl, Squirting, Jousting, $hot in Mouth, Swallowing
Score: 2 out of 5

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If you ever wanted proof that a performer can single-handedly save a scene, Karina is walking, talking video verification. The entire fake first time format is enough to undermine even the most passionate porking, but this fiery female fornicator lets out a orgasmic load of liquid love to give us the impression of pleasure this scene so desperately needs. While her hunky paramour is pretty useless, resorting to choking and panty play to make an impression, Karina is enticing and exciting. Too bad the rest of the gals in this goof aren't as willing to wet 'em as Ms. K. A little clit spit from each of them would help save this title from the rental recommendation it is 'driving' toward.

Scene 2: Carrie, Marcos
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Kissing, Blowjob, Cunnilingus, Mish, Cowgirl, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, Spoon, $hot in Face
Score: 1.5 out of 5
Nothing dampens the ardor faster than a babe who just looks plain uncomfortable. Carrie - a.k.a. Keri Sable - has quite the stellar career as a hardcore honey, but she can't seem to get the handle on humping in the back of a car. Instead, her face registers various levels of soreness as Marcos tries to maneuver his meat into cinematically pleasing positions. He fails time and time again. Besides, there is just far too much talking during the pre-porn meet-and-greet for this XXX fan's liking. While getting to "know" a girl before she's virtually violated may seem like an ethically proper thing to do, the conversation is dull and antithetical to the notion of nookie. The is sloppy smut action, not This is Your Life.

Scene 3: Veronica, Van Damage
Acts Performed: Kissing, Tit Sucking, Tonguing, Blowjob, Cunnilingus, Tongue Fucking, Mish, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, Ass Slapping, Spoon, $hot in Mouth, Oral Cleanup
Score: 1.5 out of 5
After spending endless minutes trying to entice Veronica into the van, the rest of the scene is a limp dick bit of dreariness that never once reaches any real level of lewdness. The passion between the performers is non-existent and Ms. V seems lost in her own thoughts most of the time. Van tries to turn up the heat with lots of mouth on mons action, but our Asian Miss seems less than impressed. She can barely blow dick and more times than not, she's grimacing in some kind of forced fuck face that registers nothing but regret and shame. The sad thing is, Backseat Bangers is only going to get worse from here. Oh joy.

Scene 4: Erin, Some Dude
Acts Performed: Kissing, Laughing, Stripping, Cunnilingus, Blowjob with Cell Phone Photo Action, Ball Action, Mish, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, Spoon, $hot in Mouth
Score: 1.5 out of 5
Looking the way she does, Erin should be a better hardcore Hellcat. 'Blond and vacant' usually equals 'strongly erotic' in the pay for pussy game. But there is an inherent idiocy that comes from her onscreen persona that renders everything she does dumb and/or laughable. When she's sucking cock she's awkward and tentative. When she's riding the baloney pony she's equally erratic. Some moments she's into it - at other times, her style is more slapstick than steamy. While her partner is duly impressed, it's a sure bet that the audience has already tuned out from their tepid tool time and moved on to something more satisfying.

Scene 5: Domino, Reno
Acts Performed: Tit Sucking, Kissing, Blowjob, Ball Action, Cunnilingus, Mish, Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl, Doggy, Spoon, $hot on Face
Score: 2 out of 5
Domino is the kind of loose skank slut that men just love to launch loads over. With her "Fuck me" face and razor like nails, she is a fetish fantasy all rolled into one sleazy skeezy package. Reno, on the other hand, is a Slavic slab of meat who looks like he's been piling on the pizzas since leaving his food-optional former Soviet satellite. Together, they deliver an interesting scene, hampered once again by the car seat creativity of the filmmakers. There's not much a muscle-head and his horny paramour can do in a mini-van made for soccer moms except get to sticking and try their best. Sadly, the setting reduces substantially what could be a really hot sequence.

Scene 6: Sierra, Some Nimrod
Acts Performed: Kissing, Tit Play, Cunnilingus, Blowjob, Cowgirl, Spoon, Mish, Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl, Doggy, Pile Driver, $hot in Face
Score: 1 out of 5
Working from the 'more is merrier' ideal, all this couple proves with their nonstop position paradigm is that anything extra is just plain exasperating. This pair more or less wears out the patience of the porn film fan as they quickly shift from one awkward sex style to another. By the time Sierra is face down in the car's carpet, taking a pointless porking by some overacting cock knocker, the bloom is long off the bone. We've tuned out, right around the time this dong for hire showed off his fire red taint to the waiting camera (ugh!). In combination will all the chatter, the phony as a flim flam artist antics and less than arousing Eros, this is the final nail in the already overfull coffin for this hapless hardcore.

Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating: 1.5 out of 5 (Rent It)
Cohabitation Certification: Withheld
The Dirge may have a big ass bias about these "caught in the act" style sex films, but that doesn't mean that he can't be won over be hot and horny suck and fuck. Sadly, Backseat Bangers #4 has very little of either, and can only warrant a rating of Rent It based on his understanding that there are some major fans of the ersatz reality format. Couples will find this film nothing short of annoying and irritating, offering nothing to aid in their marital experiments and exercises. The lack of viable extras and a completely incompetent set of tech specs only add insult to injury. If you want to live vicariously through a group of professional porn stars "slumming" for a glorified gonzo, rush right out and sample this sludge. Those who like their XXX a little less mannered will find better balling elsewhere in the adult industry marketplace.

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