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Salad Eating Sluts

Studio: Colossal Entertainment » Review by Saul Good » Review Date: 1/7/06

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Genre: Straight

Director: Ricasso

Cast: Mya Diamond, Simony, Linda Shane, Veronica Carso, Vanessa Hill,

Length: 2hr 45 min

Production Date: Colossal Entertainment, 2005

Extras: BTS Runs a riveting 4 minutes.

Audio/Video: The Audio of the film is 2.0 and comes through very clean. There is no music during the scenes so the actor's can be heard in all their glory. The Video of the disc is full frame color and is equally pleasing. I didn't notice any major flaws or shots or edits that proved annoying.

Body of Review: This may be the very first time an adult film title took itself literally. Although there are no ass-munching honeys filling the bytes of this disc, there are plenty of ladies with some kinky attraction to the produce aisle. Anyone looking to see women lathered in salad dressing and fondle the occasional produce, Salad Eating Sluts is sure to please.

Scene 1: Veronica Carso
Acts Included: Oral, Vaginal, Anal, Facial
Condoms: No
Veronica sits at her kitchen counter peeling carrots when she has the sudden urge to use one as a sex toy. She slobs on it for a while, gripping it like some guy's meat before rubbing it against her nicely trimmed pussy. Veronica is a pretty woman, with a great physique. All natural, perky boobs and flat Euro-tummy. Things get messy, and a bit smelly I imagine, when she pours a bottle of salad dressing on her. This goes on for about 15 minutes--the dressing bath and veggie fondle--until some guy steps in and begins licking her off. This scene is very slow starting as Veronica is not as attractive as most and the idea of salad dressing all over a hot chick is not quite as sexy as something more readily edible such as chocolate. Nonetheless, after another 5 minutes, the two make their way to a bed for more games. Veronica offers some mild deep throating before lying on her back. The sex is pretty typical and tame for a company heralding "eXXXtreme". There is some anal with finger play included, but a real snoozer for most viewers. Veronica is for the most excited and runs along with all the positions. But with standard looks and standard performances there's little of note in this opener. At times the vocals strain the microphone and there is some distortion.

-- sponsored by --

Scene 2: Mya Diamond
Acts Included: Oral, Vaginal, Facial
Condoms: No
Cat-eyed and busty Mya Diamond is making her own dressing when the soft skin of ripe tomatos causes her to yank her top off. Mya is not my type, she has a very tranny face. But her body is rock solid and impressive. Especially as she coats it with olive oil. Lubed and shining like a diamond, Mya rubs her perfect ass and fingers her slit until her co-star comes in to eat her out. Mya pours olive oil on his pecker until it too glistens and then sucks him nicely spending some much-needed attention to his shaved balls. I have to say that while she's not my type, Mya does work the guy's meat pretty well. As with the scene above, where Mya's fails is in the unoriginality, things move too typically and just at standard. Not to mention there is only a brief minute of the guy eating Mya's ass out. Was I wrong in assuming this was what the flick was about? Mya takes the goods in a number of positions, looking particularly nice (body wise) in reverse cowgirl. More boning and an occasional PTM occurs before Mya takes a meaty load in her mouth. She spits it into her palm and rubs a little on her chin.

Scene 3: Simony
Acts Included: Oral, Vaginal, Facial
Condoms: No
Simony is attracted to thick purple things--in the veggie department. She walks into her kitchen and pulls from the fridge a nice plump egglant. Immediately she is turned on, rubbing and licking it as though it were some dude's cock. The cutest woman on the disc, Simony has an adorable face. She's amazing to watch too. Her tits are small and her body slim. When she pulls off her panties she whacks her shaved pussy with eggplant rubbing the tip against her lips. Simony endures a much more heated oral scene. She takes some throat stabs and a few cheek pops at the same time commanding the camera with her stares. As with the previous scenes, cunnilingus takes a good chunk of the begining. But here, it's so much more enjoyable--there isn't the revolting thought of chomping down olive oil and salad dressing. Simony's pussy stays liquid free save her own juices. She takes some more dick in her mouth, occasionally choking, before being bent over the kitchen counter. Simony gives a solid performance mixed with some variety, all of which lack the previous scenes. When it's time for the popshot, she holds her beloved eggplant close to her ear like a telephone.

Scene 4: Vanessa Hill
Acts Included: Oral, Vaginal, Anal, DP, Facial
Condoms: No
Tomatos must be the aphrodisiac of the new year. Sultry and sexy Vanessa also falls victim their temptations when she slices one open. This causes her to reach for her trusty vibrator, conveniently situated next to the cutting board. Vanessa is a very pretty girl and watching her play with the dildo is pretty hot. Things get interresting when she starts to crush the tomatos all over her breasts. And as though this wasn't already going to stain the carpet, two guys walk on camera and crush tomatos on her as well as their dicks. Vanessa gets really turned on giving both guys head. Either it's the tomatos again, or it's the inclusion of a second dude, but things get messy and a little more hardcore. Vanessa is treated to some vaginal gapes as she sucks one guy off. The three switch out a variety of positions before leading into a decent DP and a double blast to the face. A back to back strong scene that just might be a little too late.

Scene 5: Simony and Linda Shayne
Acts Included: Oral, Vaginal, Anal, ATM, Facial
Condoms: No
(Note: the second actress looks like Simony from scene 3, but a lack of credits or any recognition make it difficult to verify.). Simony and Linda Shayne put literal meaning to the film's title. Over a bowl of salad, the two stare longingly into each other's eyes thinking, I imagine, about the naked man about to walk into their kitchen. Before a little one on one with each other, both gals get on their knees. The two women are stunning and amazing to watch and they play off each other very well. While one is getting reamed the other lends a hand, sucks some balls or lubes a dry pussy. A lot of time is spent banging on a nearby couch in missionary and doggy. Both gals get some of the action as the guy takes turns banging in doggy while the other gal just sits waiting with her ass in the air.

Concluding Words: You know the old adage: Don't assume, it makes an ass out of you and me. Well, assumption must be my middle name. I was pretty certain this was going to be a hardcore, extreme, salad tossing flick. It was anything but. Call me crazy, but with a title like Salad Eating Sluts, one doesn't usually think literally. So, first of all, I have to call them out on their title, which is a bit misleading. There's only a brief moment of M2F salad eating (non-literal sense) in the entire film. What does occur is a number of women being turned on, drenched in and fucked in, on, or around salad and salad condiments. This leads to some messy porn at times. I greatly enjoyed watching the women lather themselves in dressing and crushed tomatos (I'm all for something out of the ordinary), but I couldn't help but wonder about the smell and the taste; I mean who wants to smell like marinera when you're banging a hot babe like Vanessa Hill?

The disc itself is mediocre at best. Despite the aforementioned misleading title, the sex seesaws on the border of standard porn. Sadly, the disc could have been quite good. The first two scenes set the disc as a regurgitation of the same stale stuff. Tiring, slow paced and fair faces ushered the opening poorly. By scene 3, things picked up. The women were far more attractive (Simony is a doll and Vanessa is quite a vixen) and the action grew more heated. Although the cover claims something to the effect of "eXXXtreme" most of the action is tame. An occasional gag, poke and gape occurs (largely in the later more racy scenes) but I wouldn't call any of it close to something from a Zero Tolerance production.

My dissapointment with this film is bittersweet. I so much liked the last three performances, but I'm bent on the title. Maybe I'm just being silly and annoying, but a good deal of these flicks sell by their title alone, and since the DVD box gives no video info, this is all any consumer has to go by. Include a laughable BTS (a three minute clip? c'mon) with a very slow begining and the grade of this disc drops. Also, there is no cast index, credits or other way to distinguish actors. The internet proved useful but not fully. Some names to scenes may be off. The 2+ hour runtime ensures plenty of action, however. Rent It.


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