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Lady Of The Rings 2

Studio: Private » Review by Colonel Mustard » Review Date: 1/12/06

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Genre: Foreign Feature

Director: Frank Thring

Cast: Lara Stevens, Johanna, Lilane Tiger, Saana, Silvia Saint, Simony Diamond & vyona

Length: One Hour 25 minutes without extras

Extras: Private fills up an extra's section better than most US based adult entertainment companies. This DVD is no different. There is an extended behind the scenes feature-ette, that was mildly entertaining. There is also a Trailer for the film and the pre-requisite photobook. One thing I enjoy on Private are the Production Notes, which explained how this DVD was shot in Budapest & New Zealand, much like Peter Jackson's version of the Famous Toiken novel. There are also trailers from some upcoming DVD releases such as "The Private Story of Lucy Love", "Private Chateau 3", The Private Adventures of Pierre Woodman 9", "Sex for Fun" and "XXX 25". There is also an extended trailer for the latest Private big budget feature "Mission Possible". Like all Private movies, there is the opportunity to hear the movie in several different languages.

Audio & Video Quality: Lady of the Rings 2 looks solid. Some of the lighting in the scenes wasn't the greatest put out under the Private label, but still far from abominable. The audio quality is very good with not even a hint of a disturbance, with one of the outdoor scenes you can hear the locusts or crickets loud and clear.

Body of Review: This is Part 2 of 2 in Private's Lady of the Rings adaptation by Frank Thring. Thankfully, there is a solid recap at the beginning of the DVD for those how missed Part I. Private is notorious for dumping large amounts of capital to make big budget adult DVDs. This is not one of those DVDs. This is a tongue in cheek parody of the legendary Trilogy, with bad costumes, horrible special effects and worse dialogue, but with an honest 'fun' flair. There are seven sex scenes featuring tons of anal sex and an orgy.

Scene One: Saana & Simony Diamond

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Saana, playing the elven character is a fantastic talent that I will be looking for more of in the future, she's a blonde bombshell with a beautiful face, and a body built for fucking. Her and brunette Simony Diamond, the 'dwarf' happen upon the King caught in under a spell by the evil wizard. Thankfully, it's nothing that a little oral sex can't clear up. The two of them tag team the cock, paying special attention to the royal nuts. A weak dribbling of a cum shot ends the scene and casts the King out of his royal spell induced slumber. Very quick all oral scene.

Scene Two: Liliane Tiger, & Vyona
The white wizard is being tortured in the worst possible way. He's being forced to copulate while changed up by two hot European ladies. The two take turns bobbing on the nob, with Liliane forcing the Vyona's head over the wizard's dick, before spewing his magical load all over Liliane's chest. I feel a bit robbed, as the first two scenes are all oral. I would have liked to see more participation out of Lilane.

Scene Two Part II: Vyona
But wait, there's more. Not sure what happens here, but all of a sudden, we have anal penetration, by no one in particular. Camera pans and we get to see the young brunette Vyona getting sodomized on the staircase of the dungon. Solid reverse cow girl before a pop shot is delivered. Quick, yet solid scene, and through two scenes we've yet to see a vagina getting prodded.

Scene Three: Laura Stevens, Johanna
Our "Hibbits" happen across a couple of Orcs, and like all good hibbits, assault their orcan cocks right off the bat. It's a bit weird to see people in dime store orc masks attempting to give oral sex to a woman, but I digress. The hibbits are cute little brunettes, both with small little tits, with very slender tight bodies. Both seem to really put their minds to the task at hand and appetite for sex like no other species in "Under Earth". In an outdoor scene, the ladies get leaned up against rock structures and get their snatches and asses stretched out before taking orcian facials all over their hibbit faces. Not a bad scene, but seems very contrived.

Scene Four: Johanna
By a chance encounter, the one who's been following the "hibbits" and the former ring owner happens upon the two females. "Sammie", played by Johanna takes on the cock of the former ring poesessor as a distractor for "Soto", who makes a embarks to destroy the ring. Johanna, is a light skinned woman with long black hair, small breasts and a fine figure for fucking. There is some seriously solid dick sucking and doggy style in this outdoor sexual romp. To secure some more time, "Sammie" takes it in the ass before taking the demon seed on her face. Pretty run of the mill, baseline Private scene, except for the male is covered in green paint.

Scene Five: Laura Stevens, Johanna, Saana
Orgy time: All of the participants in the movie, as part of the celebration for saving 'under earth' from the evil orcs and wizards, decide to try each other out. Both of the hibbits, the elven Johanna, and a few of pork swordsmen round out the cast. Sodomy & double penetrations occur all over the place. Unfortunately, at the same time this scene is split with the following scene, never allowing either to establish any rhythm.

Scene Six: Silvia Saint & Simony Diamond
Silvia Saint is one of the most well known ladies in all of Adult film. She's starred in countless scenes and has pretty much an icon, despite her age. She's a tall ultra blonde who should be a super model somewhere. Great tits and an ass that would make any man aroused. Simony Diamond is her brunette co-star who is beautiful in her own right. Fantastic face and gorgeous face, make this a match-up that wet dreams are made up. Unfortunately, this scene was cut with the previous scene, so little heat could be generated. There was some great oral and dildo play that you could make out between the scene swaps.

Scene Seven: Saana
We're back to 'reality' and Saana's dream of the battle to save "Under-earth" is over. The tale, however makes her and George Uhl really hot where they have no choice but to fuck outdoors. Nice looking oral scene, and sex before an onlooker decides to stop wanking in the woods and joins the fray for some sodomy and double penetration fun. Saana is super hot as decribed above and this scene is really strong. It almost feels like a bit of an add-on to the story, but it was still very good.

Summary: Lady of the Rings 2, is a parody of "Lord of the Rings", but instead of using millions of dollars on special effects, Frank Thring, put his money into securing sexual talent for a low budget, tongue in cheek version of the Toilken classic trilogy. The dialogue was maddening, the fight scenes and costumes were entertaining, but there was glimpses of hot sex. Saana stood out, and there was some huge unrealized potential from Silvia Saint & Simony Diamond. I'd say Rent It, but realize what' you're getting yourself into.


Colonel Mustard

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