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On Your Knees Bitch

Studio: Platinum X Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 2/18/06

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

On Your Knees Bitch

Platinum X Pictures

Genre: Blowjobs

Director: Kylie Ireland

Cast: Texas Presley, Jen X, JC Stinger, Reina Leone, Joe Friday, Flower Tucci, Julie Night, Anna Mills, Mike Blaze, Gabriella Banks, Jack Venice, Ace, Lefty LaRue, Kelly Kline, Jerry, Victoria Sweet, John Strong; Kylie Ireland, Eli "bushy balls" Cross (in the bonus scene)

Length: 98 minutes

Date of Production: 8/1/2005 (box); 7/19/2005, 7/25/2005, 7/26/2005, 7/31/2005, 8/1/2005 (credits)

Extra's: There were some decent extras this time with Kylie Ireland's bonus POV blowjob scene being the best of the batch. She knows how to clean a pipe (after over ten years experience, I would hope so) as well as convey a sense of heat to the audience. The next best extra was a tie between the 12.5 minute long Behind the Scenes feature (starting off with Flower Tucci and Julie Night) and the director's commentary by Kylie Ireland and Eli Cross. She seemed to enjoy a perverted sense of fun with the commentary that provided a sense of humor, a sense of anecdotal history regarding what took place, and an ability to keep it interesting to listen to (he was very talented in this regard too when he wasn't so defensive about technical faults mentioned in certain reviews). The other extras included the director's biography, a photogallery, some trailers, and a double sided DVD cover (where the second side was a bunch of covers to other releases).

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: On Your Knees Bitch was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director Kylie Ireland with the assistance of cameraman Eli Cross, for release by Platinum X Pictures. The look of the scenes was varied enough that a single description won't effectively address the numerous issues that arose but most of the time; the lighting was designed less for optimal visuals than to convey a sense of the theme. That means that in the night scenes, and most of them were shot at night, there was too much grain and associated video noise. In the limo scene it was particularly bad but the fun factor generally made up for these limitations. The analogy by Eli on the commentary track that shooting porn is like shooting a sporting event sounded a bit like a cop out to me since I've watched far too many cameramen/directors handle far too many similar situations more effectively but I'll hand it to the couple for getting a sense of energy out of the scenes that some of the more technically adept in the business aren't as good at. Otherwise, the DVD was mastered well enough and I saw no compression artifacts. The audio was presented in 2.0 Dolby Digital but the encoding signal was added in afterwards given the overall quality of the vocals. In that sense, it sounded much like other gonzo porn so don't expect a whole lot and you'll be okay.

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Body of Review: Kylie Ireland has long been one of my favorite performers in porn due to her attractive, curvy body, pleasing face, and general attitude that she conveys so much of the time. We spoke at the recent trade show for a few minutes (and I was said to have taken her first picture of the show as seen in my 2006 Photo AEE Essay) and it was clear that a lot of changes would take place, including her departure from the company though she didn't say it outright with John Strong standing beside us. Thankfully, before she left working for Platinum X Pictures, she made a number of titles that'll be released over the next year, with On Your Knees Bitch, being the latest title to hit the shelves of your local porn emporium. The show was simply a blowjob movie with no other form of sex taking place, leaving it kind of short compared to the company's other titles (that typically last well over two hours). Still, Kylie is a very capable director and even gave some head in the bonus POV scene to her real life partner, Eli "bushy balls" Cross, so it sounded like a winner to me straight out of the package. Here's a look at the scenes, noting that there were more technical variations than usual but also a sense of heat that I really enjoyed:

Scene One: We're With The Band: Texas Presley, one of the newcomers well worth watching for her heated performances, and Jen X, a cutie with blonde dreadlocks, played groupies to JC Stinger (who played a rock star with an attitude). The gals dropped to their knees (as the title suggests they should have done) and orally worked him over rather well. Texas was easily the better of the two ladies at giving head but Jen was pretty good too. I would've liked to have seen the ladies do a whole lot more but it was a decent starting scene and he blew his load onto Jen for some cumswapping action.

Scene Two: I Thought You Guys Liked Donuts: Reina Leone, an appealing brunette with some curves to her body, and Joe Friday, were up next as he played a cop pulling her over along a deserted highway. At the time, they were actually a couple (and both were formerly cops in their real life), with the kind of chemistry a couple has. She knew how to slob a knob, sucking his balls and working over the tip like a champion. It was slightly messy but not like some gals do and this was followed by some titty fucking (stretching her implants a bunch). She went back to jerking him off and sucking as though she were truly trying to get out of a ticket, probably making any real cops watching jealous. I liked the scene even more than the last one.

Scene Three: Where's My Forty, Bitch? Flower Tucci, playing an abusive lesbian dyke, came home in a bad mood to submissive Julie Night arguing. Flower had on her corn row hair style and wore a strap on dildo (a weirdly colored one at that; blue and white psychedelic from Kylie's own collection) to pummel Julie's mouth with as she guzzled her beer to fulfill her role in the movie. Flower sucked some ass as she rubbed Julie's ass and crotch, with the action continuing a very long time (Julie's a great oralist). In all, it was a great lesbian blowjob scene but contrary to the commentary track (this was filmed at Alex Sander's house), it wasn't the best scene of the movie. Fans of the waterworks will appreciate Flower's "squirting" at the end though it wasn't anything I really cared much about.

Scene Four: You Come Here Often?: Anna Mills, an average looking gal that hasn't done a lot of hardcore porn, was up next as she took a piss on a toilet (it looked a lot like Flower's squirting except it was more yellow in color) with her panties on. If you look at her from a distance, you'd think she had a penis but up close it was clear that she was simply sporting huge pussy lips (called "beef curtains" by Eli on the commentary track). This was shot on a scene that was made to look like a nasty public bathroom, complete with glory holes that provided her an opportunity to blow a guy named Mike Blaze. There was some POV (or "wall cam" as Kylie put it) footage and the ending pop shot was kind of weak but it was certainly different (I'd have dropped the urination part of the scene though).

Scene Five: Blind Taste Test: Gabriella Banks, an average looking gal that is now out of porn, was up next wearing one of Kylie's fetish outfits in a dungeon with dominant Jack Venice (complete with his 50 caliber bullet tattoo on his leg) getting a decent hummer from her. He put a blindfold on her head and then Ace and Lefty LaRue (not to be confused with Ace and Gary; the ambiguously gay duo from SNL) joined in to get some head. She seemed to work better with three dicks then one as she went from guy to guy and they loved it. Given the commentary, I'm sort of surprised Kylie isn't directing porn in Europe (where there aren't any restrictions) but it was also well enough handled even if the replay value this time was limited for me. (Commentary note: for the record, Eli can find lots of examples of shadow-less scenes containing three or more guys, his "defiance" aside.)

Scene Six: Most Expensive BJ Ever: Kelly Kline, looking better than any hookers I've seen walking the street, was up next in a scene with Jerry who picked her up in a limousine. The blowjob took place as they drove around town at night, lending it an air of "reality sex"; complete with tons of grain and shadows that were explained away by Eli and Kylie as "fun". I'm probably one of the reviewers they referred to who talked about shadows in past works but this type of a hotty should be reserved for the well lit scenes (she looked fine on the box cover) with the plainer gals working out better in the poorly lit scenes like this. The camera lost focus repeatedly, kind of funny considering how little movement took place by Eli who was holding the camera; a problem when using the auto focus in sub-par lighting situations. In fairness, if you get past the technical faults (the use of the mirror at the end showed the scene could be shot with plenty of light and clarity), it was an energetic and fun scene full of raw energy.

Scene Seven: On Your Knees, Bitch: Victoria Sweet, a Latina hotty that lives up to her last name, and studly John Strong, were up in the last scene in the dungeon scene with Anna Mills (our second favorite Texan of the movie after Texas Presley) assisting as the dominatrix. John was chained to a cross and Victoria was led to blow him though he was released and didn't seem to want to leave while she was blowing him (imagine that!). Victoria wasn't the best oral queen of the movie, looking almost as if she had been a recent convert to giving head, engaging in deepthroating as the streamers trailed down her face before the pop shot.

Summary: On Your Knees Bitch was actually a well done blowjob movie well worth checking out so I rated it as Recommended. Most of the action was male on female but Flower Tucci worked over Julie Night pretty well too in a dyke lesbian scene for those wanting variety. The technical matters weren't the best I've seen, explained away in the commentary as necessary evils of the types of scenes shot, but I wouldn't have rated it any higher if it had had twice the budget, far better lighting, and not one bit of grain. If there had been another half hour of oral scenes and if a few of the gals were more skilled; then, we'd be talking about a higher rating but it showed the Kylie was still improving on the variety of porn she directs. Her next company seems to be climbing up the charts so hopefully, she'll prove to get even better over time too.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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