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Rock Hard

Studio: Sin City » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 3/15/06

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Rock Hard: Making the Video

Sin City

Genre: Vignette

Director: Barrett Blade

Cast: Texas Presley, Cassie Courtland, James Deen, Alex Divine, Tyler Durden, Gina Austin, Kris Knight, Sophia, Anthony Hardwood, Chris Cannon, Joey, Joe Friday, Avena Lee, Billy Glide
Non-sex roles by: Hannah Harper, Cali El Manor, Pepper Rindge, Barrett Blade, Johne (vox), Geoff (guitars), Big B (vox), Jonathan (Keys), Billy "The Skatanic Mechanic" (drums), Matt (bass)

Length: 113.5 minutes

Date of Production: 11/12/2005 (box); 11/20/2005 (credits)

Extras: This two disc set was full of extras for fans of porn as well as fans of the band OPM. The second disc started off with an R-rated video directed by Barrett Blade for the song Luffly. It was short and made some interesting use of special effects (black & white with highlighted color) though the song was largely forgettable to me. The DVD also had four songs, Bump, Rollin', Perfect Day, and Horny that seemed to appeal to me more as they each seemed to have a hook that caught my ear. There was also a series of seven interviews with the female cast that generally lasted around 3 minutes or so, giving each gal a chance to talk about themselves. They were recorded exclusively for this movie so that added to their value for me as a fan as well as being a reviewer. There was also a 13 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Bam Bam that showed the various participants before, during, and after their scenes with some cute humor relating to tricksters like Texas Presley or flubbed bits. The other extras on the second disc included a cumshot recap, a photogallery, and some spam. The first disc had six trailers, a star index and nothing else. There was also a double sided DVD cover for those who care, showing hardcore penetration rather than box covers as others do.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Rock Hard: Making the Video was presented in an anamorphic widescreen color with an aspect ratio of 1.85:1 as shot by director Barrett Blade for Sin City. The lighting on the movie was excellent, getting rid of most grain and video noise that mars so many titles released by Sin City and their Mayhem line up. The composition of the scenes was generally flattering to the ladies and I think they were solid casting picks on most levels thanks to Barrett's understanding of what works and what doesn't. The 2.0 Dolby Digital audio was presented weak on the vocals, which had no separation and limited dynamic range, but the music was actually pretty good (far better than most porn these days). If you're a fan of alternative music, this compared favorably to Neu Wave Hookers, though each had their own merits.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: Barrett Blade has long made it clear that he enjoyed making music as much as making hard, nasty monkey love in porn; hoping to create a fusion of the two in various projects. The sad news is that his success at doing so has been relatively limited for a whole host of reasons but that has now changed with the release of Sin City's Rock Hard: Making the Video, where he was allowed to direct a semi-documentary combined with a porn feature. While not a seamless fusion of the two entertainment genre's, it was a solid first step for the performer-turned-director, following in the footsteps of several others trying to do the same thing in recent years. Here's what the back DVD cover said about it: "Sin City contract exclusive Gina Austin stars in this behind the scenes look at the filming of underground rock sensation OPM's world premiere music video that shows just how difficult it is to get any work done when a constant barrage of frenzied female fans are ripping off their clothes and spreading their legs for some of the wildest sex-soaked fuck parties ever seen. From the mind bending blow jobs to the outrageous three way fuck fests, these sex-crazed nympho groupies will suck and fuck their way into Rock n' Roll oblivion!"

For those of you unaware, the band OPM (when spoken, it sounds like opium, the narcotic), is one of those groups that are difficult to label into a specific type of music. They combine pop, Latin, reggae, and a host of other influences to make for mellow music to get high with and simply enjoy life. They formed in 1999 to release Menace To Society and were initially comprised of Matthew (AKA: Shakey Lo, the Kreation Kid), John E. Necro, and Casper (Geoff Turney), though they've expanded their line up in recent years and seem to have the following members actively working on projects: Johne (vox), Geoff (guitars), Big B (vox), Jonathan (Keys), Billy "The Skatanic Mechanic" (drums), Matt (bass), most of said projects seeming to bridge some of the gap between porn and rock. That said, the DVD set in question is a combination of porn mockumentary and music world promotion, complete with actual music from the Southern California band. For those interested in the porn scenes, here's a breakdown by cast and action, noting that condoms were used in the scenes:

Scene One: Texas Presley, the hot brunette from the best state in the union, beautiful Cassie Courtland, and scrawny James Deen were up first when the gals took a break from their jobs as video sluts to appreciate the finer things in life; each other. He played the PA (production assistant) and they gave him a wild ride that included oral and vaginal sex. Texas was very actively involved in riding him and Cassie was nearly as aggressive. Everyone ate some pussy with some PTM (and variations) taking place too as the gals never stopped going for a taste of each other, even when taking his rod up their coochie. It ended when he rubbed out a load onto their faces for them to share, marking a decent scene to begin the movie with.

Scene Two: Alex Divine, another gal at home with being a video slut, worked her magic to land Tyler Durden/Woods in bed. This included him snacking on her crack as he fingered it, her providing a suck-fest blowjob in return, and the two bumping uglies to the point where he drove his meaty member deep inside her ass after some vaginal action. My main concern with this one was how she let him do most of the work when it came time to screw. I greatly prefer an active sex partner in bed and she wasn't doing it for me (or him). While in real life a gal can lie there and let a guy get off, that doesn't convey any chemistry or heat to a viewer at home (at least one who pays attention). It ended with a facial but it was far from her best work.

Scene Three: Gina Austin, the new Sin City contract gal and former Penthouse hotty, was allowed to defy the laws of physics and pretend like she was a better fuck than Hannah Harper to enjoy a scene with Kris Knight. Gina was the cutie on the front DVD cover and looked like she could've been the kid sister to Gina Ryder though with a much leaner body. The couple started having their scene on the staircase, undressing, rubbing each other, and kissing to set the mood. Her rock slut outfit enhanced her look a lot and some day, I suspect she'll pick up enough tricks at performing to make it without relying so heavily on her looks over skill. Don't get me wrong; she blew him like she'd been practicing for years with hundreds of cocks in her mouth and she did bounce on his lap like she were trying prove a point but it was a mechanical fuck in most ways and will likely only appeal to the slavering fanboys of hers instead of the more discriminating audience. Still, it was better than the other two performances I've seen her in and I nod in deference to her getting better with experience. It ended when he jerked off to her mouth though she didn't swallow.

Scene Four: Sophia, the curvy cutie with crystal blue eyes and a sunny disposition, was up next in a blowjob scene between her and Anthony Hardwood (who was dressed more like a cheap gangster than anything else). She was energetic and came across like a gal on a mission; in this case, she was trying to get past him to meet the band. I wished she had gone all the way with him but that came up in the following scene thankfully enough, so the oral and titty fuck were enough to sustain me the extra couple of minutes. It ended with a moderate load to her mouth that she never got to display thanks to editing.

Scene Five: Sophia, still looking hot as could be, wanted to meet the band so badly that she did their manager, played by Chris Cannon. Showing the difference between a "real fan" and a lot lizard (a rough looking groupie who hangs outside of establishments in hopes of meeting musicians), she gave him a swell blowjob and then rode his dick like there'd be no second chances. This meant that while she did a decent job riding him vaginally, she also gave up some ass for him to plunder as she lay back on the couch in the suite. At first, the anal looked kind of weak but when she was given the chance to ride him reverse cowgirl style, she came alive as she impaled herself soundly. The pop shot went all over the place and landed partially on her tongue but the strength of the scene was with her energy and passion.

Scene Six: Joey, a very cute gal with blonde highlights and a lean figure jumped on Joe Friday after the shoot was finished while Asian Avena Lee took care of Billy Glide. I wish they had taken some time to mix it up a bit but they stuck with their original partners throughout the scene. Each gave the other some head and this led to them screwing like happy little minxes. Joey was the cuter of the two gals but Avena was the most active participant on that score. Billy dropped the biggest load of the movie but he was otherwise too involved to focus his efforts on his partner, continually looking at the camera as though it were his mirror. Still, it was a better than average scene for Sin City and closed with the usual facials taking place before the world premiere of the OPM video was shown.

Summary: Rock Hard: Making the Video earned a rating of Recommended for the attempt to fuse pop music, exclusive pop music at that, with modern porn in a way that allowed for a semi-mockumentary style of presentation. It had some rough edges but the technical matters were well handled and Barrett proved he has the kind of creative ability behind the camera that he has been touting for years as where he wanted to go with his adult film career. The ladies all looked their parts and there were some fine sexual performances, solid material with the band OPM, and unique extras that really came close to earning the next highest rating. While this will be a must buy for fans of the band, it was still a decent porno, never forgetting who the primary audience for it was. I hope Barrett can follow up with something even better given the way he crafted this one.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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