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Real Female Orgasms 5

Studio: Elegant Angel » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 4/8/06

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Real Female Orgasms 5

Elegant Angel

Genre: Compilation, Squirting

Director: Patrick Collins

Cast: Taryn Steel, Tiffany Mynx, Brianna, Daisy Chain, Chloe, Nina, TJ Hart, Ebony Sinclair, Jenna Haze, Kitty Marie, Gwen Summers, Sandy Knight, Catalina, Holly Hollywood, Stacy Burke, Ariah, Macella Bocelli, Sky Taylor, Tiana Lynn, Mark Ashley, Christie Lee, Tony T., Daria Glower, Cytherea, Marco Duato, Lee Ann, Roxanne Hall, Ariana Jollee, Vicky Vette, Chris Mountain, Zana, Cynara Fox, Haley Paige, Elizabeth Lawrence, Tony Sexton, Victoria Givens, Axel Braun, Flower Tucci, Randy Spears, Dick Delaware, Angela Stone, Nikki Hunter, Tori Lane, Hillary Scott, Jake Malone, Kyle Stone, Roxy Jezel, Sunny Lane, Kinzie Kenner, Sammie Rhodes, Gen Padova, Kami Andrews, Mick Blue, dozens more; none of them were credited

Length: 122 minutes

Date of Production: 2/14/2006 (the compilation itself: box); 2/21/2006 (the compilation itself: credits)

Extras: The only extras were more clips from the previous four volumes in the series, some spam, a double sided DVD cover, and trailers to movies like Big Wet Asses 7, Flower's Squirt Shower 2, Squirt Woman 3, Face Blasters! 3, Glazed & Confused 6, and Kill Her Ass.

Condoms: Some

-- sponsored by --

Audio/Video Quality: Real Female Orgasms 5 was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by a wide variety of directors over the years for Elegant Angel with Patrick Collins claiming Executive Producer credit for the show. Okay, rather than outline every scene's strengths and weaknesses, the general video quality was fair this time with many of the newer scenes looking great but many of the archival scenes looking murky, poorly lit, and fuzzy as hell. The fleshtones tended to look fine overall but again, even though this area didn't vary all that much like the other visual aspects did, there were some major variations. If you want to find technically perfect scenes, look to some of the company's newest titles and skip the clipped compilations like this one. There were no compression artifacts observed and the video noise wasn't a problem. The audio registered as 2.0 Dolby Digital stereo though I couldn't hear any separation or major dynamic range in any of the scenes. There were some that were quiet, others that had loud musical selections, and a mix of others somewhere in between. It wasn't the best presentation in terms of audio but many were okay but usual standards.

Body of Review: Elegant Angelhas been one of the leaders in porn for years in the gonzo scene thanks in large part to the financial wizardry of owner Patrick Collins. This is not to say that the company has not had a long list of talented directors and crews working for them over the years, nor is it a slam on the many fine young hotties (and some not so young but still hot) employed by them either. That said, today's review is on a compilation of scenes that focused largely on scenes where the women were said to have "squirted' (in everyday language, this means they drank enough water to urinate a healthy stream of fairly clear piss), called Real Female Orgasms 5. Whatever your stance on the subject though, the premise of the series is to show the very last part of the scenes, or at least the part where the female performer is alleged to have had an orgasm. I know that many of you think female orgasms in porn are about as rare as honest reviews, compassionate conservatives, or thrifty liberals but they do happen from time to time. That said, I started to breakdown the scenes by title, cast, and action, only to figure out that if Elegant Angel isn't going to make it easy (they didn't even list the cast at the beginning or end, I wasn't going to devote hundreds of hours to a series of minute long clips from scenes (I hate editing like this as pointed out in my review of Zero Tolerance's Big Rack Attack. Here's a few comments after I stopped outlining the show:

Scene One: Not Too Young For Cum 1: Tiana Lynn, Mark Ashley,

Scene Two: Young and Filthy 1: Christie Lee, Tony T.,

Scene Three: Euro Glamour Sluts: Daria Glower, ?,

Scene Four: Squirtwoman 2: Cytherea, Marco Duato,

Scene Five: Cytherea Is Squirtwoman: Lee Ann, Cytherea,

Scene Six: Cytherea Is Squirtwoman: Roxanne Hall, Cytherea,

Scene Seven: Booty Duty 11: Ariana Jollee, Tony T.,

Scene Eight: Tails of Perversity 10: Vicky Vette, Chris Mountain,

Scene Nine: S.M.U.T. 19: Zana, Cynara Fox,

Scene Ten: Inside Shooters 2: Haley Paige. Elizabeth Lawrence, Tony Sexton,

Scene Eleven: Filthy First Timers 35: not a clue…

Scene Twelve: The Squirting Adventures of Dr. G #3: Victoria Givens, Axel Braun,

Scene Thirteen: The Elegant Angel Vault: cutie, Randy Spears,

Okay, this went on for dozens of scenes, each displaying a little bit of cuking, fingering, toy play, licking of pussies, or something else to get the gals off. Did I think most of them were really having an orgasm? Well, in fairness to Elegant Angel's stooge that was stuck putting this one together, I think there were a number of ladies getting off. There were others where I didn't really care if they were getting off since their performances were so good to watch and then there were the scenes where gals equated yelling really loudly, with no outward signs of excitement, as having an "orgasm (I've slept with a few gals that were far better at faking it than many of them in fact).

Summary: Real Female Orgasms 5 was definitely one of those shows where you'll either love it or hate it. I would've loved to have seen a dozen full scenes over the surface level clips presented here. As an awards compilation (like the yearly AVN Award show, XRCO, or even DVD Talk's Top Porn List), such a clip show, especially if it included clips from a variety of award winners or nominees, would be fantastic. As a selection of clips from a single company, with such a narrow theme, I have little desire to watch it so I rated it as a Skip It. Still, there is some merit in such shows for a limited audience but there action wasn't long enough for me to stroke to or use in jerking off and isn't that the point of this type of porn? In any case, take my comments with a bit of salt since there were many hot gals (that Tiana is such a fox for example) on display but don't fool yourself into thinking the sum of the parts was worth the outlay of cash required.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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