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Meet The Fuckers 3

Studio: Zero Tolerance » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 4/17/06

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Meet The Fuckers 3

Zero Tolerance

Genre: Gonzo

Director: Mick Blue

Cast: Victoria Lanz, Allison Miller, Mick Blue, Sonia Red, Dillion Day, Diana Gold, Nikolleta, Sue Diamond, Sharka Blue, Francesca Felucci, David Perry, Claudia Rossi, Julie Silver, Franco Roccaforte, Steve Holmes; Annette (bonus scene only though)

Length: 127 minutes

Date of Production: 9/20/2005 to 11/4/2005 (box); 8/23/2005 to 11/4/2005 (credits)

Extras: For most people, the 17 minute long bonus scene between Annette and Steve Holmes, one that included some humorous cum gargling, was the best extra though it seemed to cut off rather quickly. I also liked the 14.5 minute Behind the Scenes footage, largely because it contained a lot of sexual activity and humor; making it a treat to watch. There was also some hot tease footage of the gals in a separate extra, lasting 17.5 minutes long and showing them play to the various music provided. The cumshot loop, series of trailers, and double sided DVD cover with attractive slipcase was also pretty nice. In all then, it was a decent selection of extras.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Meet The Fuckers 3 was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director Mick Blue for release by Zero Tolerance. The lighting, especially when shot outside, was great though the indoor action was lit pretty nicely too. This means there was little grain, limited video noise, and few shadows worth mentioning. The composition of the shots wasn't always favorable to the ladies though it tended to show them in a decent light nonetheless. While not shot by someone as skilled as Mike Quasar, at least it was reportedly edited by him, showing the skill of a seasoned veteran in that sense. I saw no compression artifacts and thought it looked pretty good most of the time. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English (with an optional Spanish track). The volume level on the movie was set substantially lower than the music and extras but you could usually hear the cast without completely spiking up the volume. The music was thankfully sparse and perhaps an option to drop it would've helped make it an easier flick to enjoy.

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Body of Review: Zero Tolerance has been in business now for several years, providing some quality gonzo porn with a variety of amusing titles that convey the action of a DVD as well as stick out in your mind. Today's review is of a movie that plays on the words of a popular mainstream comedy, yet doesn't actually parody it in any way, called Meet The Fuckers 3, where the cover said: "It takes a fucker to know one. That's why you dirty perverts grabbed this movie off the shelf in the first place. If you've never met a chick whose sole purpose in life is to get as much dick as humanly possible, then it's time to Meet The Fuckers. These gorgeous gals have waited eighteen long years to unleash years of pent-up sexual frustration and be the biggest filthy whores they can be. And who can blame them? They'll stop at nothing to satisfy their cravings for cock and make sure they get you off. Don't be shy, introduce your pleasure rod to some of the nastiest sluts on the planet!" In all, it was an interesting work by performer turned director Mick Blue, though it had some limitations that prevented me from truly appreciating it as much as I wanted to. Here's a quick look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used by the men:

Scene One: Victoria Lanz and Allison Miller, were up first as director/scene partner Mick Blue, showed them off in the morning sun outside on a lawn chair. Both of them possessed an ass to die for though I was less interested in the implants. Otherwise, the trio gave each other some oral and played around a bit with some taste testing on the wooden deck; the ladies showing some time tested talent at giving head. Mick then went to hammering away at the ladies in their pussies, with the gals licking him clean repeatedly before the anal started up. The gals were active and seemed to have a little bit of fun but much of it was mechanical fucking as you would expect of performers these days. While I wish they would have stayed outside, they went in for the anal antics, using red anal plugs to stretch the ladies out enough to handle him in their backdoors. There wasn't as much anal as some of you would like but they did a great job bouncing on his rod there, ending up with pearl necklaces when he rubbed out a load to their faces.

Scene Two: Sonia Red, the lean, all natural gal on the front DVD cover, was up next as she teased outside on an overcast day. The cover didn't do her justice although she could've toned up a bit more and she was bold enough to offer herself up to both Dillion Day and Mick Blue. Mick crammed her ass with one of the large red anal plugs as she knelt before Dillion, eventually sucking him off as her sphincter muscles learned to accommodate the toy. Her oral was pretty good as she toyed with him a little to enhance the mood, soon taking care of Mick as well. The men then took turns with each end of her; one getting a hummer while the other porked away at her pussy. The guys then tapped her in a DP; seeming to overwhelm her for a short while as she tried to handle them as best she could. She did PTM and ATM, sucking them off with glee before going back to one at a time, typically in anal. The scene ended shortly after that when the guys rubbed out loads onto her lovely face.

Scene Three: Diana Gold and Nikolleta, a couple of light haired gals with very lean bodies, were up next as they held hands and ran around on the estate of a very large house. Their tiny shorts and bikini tops looked pleasing on them as they entered into the room where Dillion Day and Mick Blue were waiting for them. The sex was another case where the quartet was sometimes mechanical but seeing the gals' pretty eyes looking up at the camera was really appealing to me, even if their faces weren't the most physically appealing of the crowd. The oral by the ladies was actually pretty solid overall, especially once they were warmed up, with more DP footage after the vaginal boning than expected. Fans of taste testing won't be let down either since they gals seemed quite inclined to lick the cocks clean after pussy and anal plunging. Dillion came like he was getting paid per volume and the gals did some cumswapping to close, marking another decent scene overall.

Scene Four: Sue Diamond, another lean blonde with some appealing curves, was up next with studly Mick Blue. She teased the camera in the morning sunlight, looking better than ever, before the camera edited into her blowing him like they were long lost friends. It was clear that she wanted him inside her pussy more though, so he bent her over the railing and let nature take its course. He drilled her like he was on fire and the sunlight worked nicely to enhance their bodies glistening in the sun though why they took the scene inside the house was beyond my understanding. The couple looked great together with some of the chemistry the others were missing. There might not have been any anal but they didn't need it with the scene ending after he popped on her face (though his kissing her with his spew on her mouth was kind of nasty to me).

Scene Five: Sharka Blue and Francesca Felucci were up next in a scene with both David Perry and Mick Blue, skipping the outside portion of the tease. Sharka looked cuter but Francesca seemed nastier as the ladies readied themselves for the action. There was a technical DP involving Dillion and a toy though both gals did anal like champion athletes. There was also a lot of ATM and a couple of very short "real" DP's, though the best action of the scene was the vaginal riding the ladies provided before the facial/chest pops began. The chemistry wasn't as solid as the previous scene but the gals were among the most enthusiastic of the cast so that made up for whatever limitations observed. The scene ended on the same couch with some cumswapping.

Scene Six: Claudia Rossi and Julie Silver, were up last with Franco Roccaforte and Steve Holmes inside the house. Both gals had superior asses with firm cheeks, nice curvature, and skin tone worth looking at for a very long time. Claudia was the most facially attractive of the two but I'd be misleading you if I said either weren't worth more than a passing glance. Steve went first as he boned their pussies but this led to Franco joining them relatively soon. Say what you will about Steve, especially when he looks grubby and unshaven, but he has a knack for the pussy attack that few men his age are capable of providing. Franco offered a different dynamic, with large muscles, a huge cock, and a willingness to drive it home deep inside his partners, he manages to offer the kind of interracial fun that is a growing part of porn today. Combining the talents of these two men, ladies of this caliber tend to do very well; as was the case in this scene. The action was about what I expected with some anal, DP, oral, and all the taste testing you could imagine. The gals weren't cum shy and it was easily one of the better scenes of the movie.

Summary: Meet The Fuckers 3 was a Rent It for me although it came close to providing the level of quality fuck for the buck needed to elevate the rating a notch. The ladies were almost all the kind of European types that we're used to in the Private movies; a mixed blessing in some ways since a little bit of the look goes a long way unless they're really into the action. I think with some more polishing up and a cast somewhat more into one another (a few scenes stood out this way) would've increased the replay value a lot and given the DVD the kind of fuck for the buck needed to boost the rating but check it out and you'll see what I mean.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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