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Black da Fuck Up

Studio: Third Degree Films » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 7/9/06

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Black Da Fuck Up

Third Degree

Genre: Black

Director: Dynomite Dolamite

Cast: Candace Von, Jean-Claude Baptiste, Chyanne Jacobs, Brian Pumper, Marie Luv, LT, Jemeni, Jada Fire

Length: 143 minutes

Dates of Production: 10/17/2005 to 10/28/2005

Extras: For me, the best extra was the 11 minute long Behind the Scenes feature in the form of a Director's Comment (not a separate commentary but much like John Stagliano used to provide at the front of his DVDs) that showed the ladies during their scenes. The anecdotes were short but they added something to the value of the show and I hope 3rd Degree includes this type of thing more often. There was also a photogallery, a cumshot recap, a true double sided DVD cover, and trailers to movies like Cum Beggars 4, Illegal Ass, Spanish Harlem, Liquid Ass-Sets, Hand To Mouth 3, Finger Licking Good 2, and Crack Addict 2.

Condoms: None

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Audio/Video Quality: Black Da Fuck Up was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by Dynomite Dolamite for Third Degree. The lighting needed some work at times, added in grain above what I have come to expect from a Third Degree release but the camera angles and composition were handled well enough that I thought the director had some untapped potential. The fleshtones were accurate and the over use of the zoom apparent but this was his first attempt as director so I can't be too hard on his flaws in need of repair. The DVD itself looked about average with no compression artifacts. The audio was presented with the usual choice (for Third Degree at least) of a 2.0 Dolby Digital processed audio track in either the original English or the dubbed Spanish the company provides. The vocals varied too much (sometimes too low, other times distorted) and the music needed some better dynamic range but aside from no true separation in the tracks, it was about average.

Body of Review: As a recent convert to the quality of Third Degree's brand of porn, I have come to expect a lot from their assorted directors. They recently tried to get one of their crew, Dynomite Dolamite, to step up to the plate and direct his first flick, in this case being Black Da Fuck Up. The movie had black men and women doing each other, a change from the usual white women getting nailed by healthy black dicks. As a first effort, it wasn't bad so here's a quick look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used:

Scene One: Candace Von, a hotty with light skin and sweet curves, was up first to showcase her performing abilities with Jean-Claude Baptiste. The scene began with her teasing the camera as she gyrated about in a small top and tight shorts, making my own shorts a little tighter in the process. According to the director, the couple was "into this" and she left porn soon afterwards but the short interview and tease were a nice way to start the scene. She masturbated and then gave him a slow, seductive humjob before riding him vaginally with an increasing tempo. When she was on top, she was a great ride that showed a seriously active riding style though her doggy was more active then usual too. She did PTM and her all natural titties swayed like crazy in the crappy setting that focused all attention on her. She was vocal and he rubbed out a small load to her mouth, ending a solid opener that included swallowing.

Scene Two: Chyanne Jacobs, a lean gal with a good ass and mean face, was up next in a blue satin bikini and white thigh high boots with Brian Pumper. Both had their "bling" on as the director suggested in his commentary, and seemed to appreciate the skills the other had to offer. She followed the general formula of tease, masturbation, interview and sex with her partner, this time doing anal (and a good amount of it at that) as though she was just learning how. Okay, she wasn't hot looking facially but what bout her skills you ask? Well, her oral skills were top notch and I believe that she could suck a golf ball threw a garden hose the way her cheeks inhaled his rod. Her vaginal riding style was kind of passive to me, except when she was on top, but she was clearly more ready to handle a cock in her ass by the way she impaled herself on his dick. He rubbed out a load to her mouth (which she clamped shut during the initial pop as though he spewed toxic waste) and the overall scene was kind of mixed in terms of quality.

Scene Three: Marie Luv, the leanest of the ladies in the flick and probably the tallest too, had the benefit of giving the best tease footage as well before she worked with LT. Her outfit was tiny but the way she dry humped the red sofa was awesome! Her solo routine was just that – routine – but she was another gal well versed in sucking cock (as long as you like the messy, noisy style that is made for audience participation). He did most of the work in the vaginal sex and she warmed up towards the end by giving very vocal comments but her anal was better. Still, she tends to do a lot better than this and even the mouth pop (no swallowing) couldn't save it from being a one time watch for me.

Scene Four: Jemeni, the hotty featured on the front DVD cover with the fine ass, was up next as she followed the formula in her metallic orange bikini. Her muscular figure enhanced the action and the cover did not do justice to her face (what a great smile she had!) although the lighting wasn't optimal for this kind of camerawork. Her scene was with Jean-Claude Baptiste in the garage, initially beside a shiny car that spoke of someone's success. Her tease was good, the masturbation on the weak side, and the oral decidedly more limited than the previous two scenes. She was passive when doing vaginal in a few positions and her anal was nothing special either. I wanted to like her more than I did but her vocals stunk and her sexual skill reminded me of a couple of past girlfriends that thought they were terrific (when they were actually barely above passable; fitting largely during a dry spell). He ended this travesty by jerking off a small load to her ass cheeks, lowering the overall score of the movie for reliance on looks over skill.

Scene Five: Jada Fire, a freaky black gal with some large curves and the attitude to go with them, was up last with lucky Jean-Claude Baptiste and LT. While not a classic porn beauty, Jada has had to rely on her over the top sexual style that almost always serves her well. Her tease was fair as was her solo action and I got the impression she was tired considering how much she relied on her vocals over active riding as she usually does. She did the expected anal too but I've seen far better from her (and the comments on this scene were hilarious as to how she cut one of them with her braces; resulting in him almost smacking the shit out of her). She did provide a few moments of her usual self but not enough to save the movie from a rental status in my eyes. As far as the pop shots went, one went to the mouth and the other to her fleshy ass, neither making a difference to me in the process. Fans of pissing, errr…I mean squirting, will like how she ended the action by herself but it seemed weak to me.

Summary: Black Da Fuck Up was only worth a rating of Rent It to me and then for fans of black on black porn. The ladies were either fit or fine but their sexual performing skills were kind of spotty in terms of heated riding ability and/or oral talents. I look forward to seeing what the director comes up with as a follow up since he showed some potential but the title itself was not all that great when it wasn't hitting on all cylinders. The formula employed was as basic as could be and Dynomite will need something more explosive to get a rise out of his audience if he wants to compete with some of his competition.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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