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Teenage Jizz Junkies 3


Studio: Zero Tolerance » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 7/10/06



XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Teenage Jizz Junkies

Zero Tolerance

Genre: Gonzo

Director: David Perry

Cast: Jenny, David Perry, Janet Joy, Steve Holmes, Leanna Sweet, Jasmine Rouge, Jean Yves LeCastel, Titus Steele, Boroka Bolls, Eve Mensen, Bruno SX, Candy, Roxanne Keys, Greg Centauro

Length: 149 minutes

Dates of Production: 11/16/2005 to 3/2/2006

Extras: There was a short 7.5 minutes of Behind the Scenes feature this time, consisting largely of the stills being shot and some limited sexual activity. There was also a cumshot loop, a photogallery, a true double sided DVD cover (naughty on one side and cleaner on the other), and trailers to shows like Drive Thru, Apprentass, Meet The Fuckers, and Who's Your Daddy. I was disappointed that the advertised Strip Tease was missing since that has long been one of the best extras Zero Tolerance provides on some of their DVDs, lowering the rating for lacking it.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Teenage Jizz Junkies was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director David Perry for release by Zero Tolerance. The lighting was decent which meant there was little grain, limited video noise, and few shadows worth mentioning. The composition of the shots wasn't always favorable to the ladies though it tended to show them in a decent light nonetheless. I saw no compression artifacts and thought it looked pretty good most of the time. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English (with an optional Spanish track). The music was thankfully sparse even though the vocals seemed limited too, likely due to a lack of language skills by most of the cast.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: David Perry has been in porn for longer than most guys, stepping behind the camera in recent years in order to provide his own unique vision. His latest release is Teenage Jizz Junkies, no relation to the older Jizz Junkies in another company's efforts (but not much older in most cases). The back cover said it all: "The gateway drug! 1 out of every 3 teens end up becoming a jizz junky, and we couldn't be happier! Studies have shown that daily sperm ingestion is a gateway to other slutty behavior, eventually leading to ass-stretching, pussy pounding, and gobbling up cum like hungry little sparrows. Approach them with caution--these reckless whores will fuck and suck anyone just to get their daily dosage of dick drool! Take a hit of the hardest teen semen series on the street...everybody's doing it!" Now, had the DVD provided that kind of action, most of you would be happy, right? Sadly, this was not the case. The age of the ladies was always as in doubt as was their apparent sexual skill but the most objectively worrisome problem was the lack of the advertised swallowing or creampies. Here's a quick look at the scenes to give you a heads up, noting that at least no condoms were used:

Scene One: Jenny, a girl next door brunette with pigtails, was up first on a bed in her neon pink outfit as she masturbated and played with a large purple vibrator. She looked to be in her 20's but part of porn is the make believe aspect many of us enjoy so I didn't want to get too critical out of the gate. She diddled herself mechanically until David Perry joined her, offering up his meaty rod to suck as he jilled her with his right hand. The oral was lame enough that he started coaxing her to go faster (and deeper) by pushing the side of her mouth but she soon dropped that in favor of letting him bone her pussy. She did grind into him a little initially and do PTM but it wasn't until the cowgirl action that she even tried to show any active riding skills (and they were limited then too). It ended when she took the facial to the mouth, having skipped any anal contact, but she did not swallow; letting the semen fall out of her mouth instead. When a movie disregards the front cover advertising in the first scene ("100% Swallowing or Internal Cream Pies"; are there external cream pies?!?), there's going to be trouble.

Scene Two: Janet Joy, another gal that looked substantially older than the teenage title, followed the routine on the couch with her skinny all natural body and tame tease act before getting to work with Steve Holmes. I'm not saying I'd turn her down in a pinch but she was definitely not the most appealing gal of the cast. Steve fingered her as she continually made the same "oh ah" noises as if by memorization, going right to the vaginal action from there. This didn't last long as Steve had her sitting on his face before dipping his wick back, eventually getting her to blow him about as well as could be expected from someone with little skill. She pumped him a few times with her hand and then climbed back on for more mediocre vaginal riding and then an even more passive anal session. After some taste testing, he launched his load on her face and chest but she didn't swallow either, preferring to play with the load instead.

Scene Three: Leanna Sweet, a lean gal with dark reddish hair and a very appealing face, was up in generic underwear (bra and panties) on a love seat as she sort of masturbated for a couple of minutes. David Perry joined her for some mutual hand action before she gave him a lizard kiss hummer that was the brightest spot of the movie until this point (keeping in mind that they were 50 minutes in by then). It wasn't a great blowjob but it was certainly passable to watch, and led to her actively riding his cock vaginally in cowgirl fashion. The cowgirl action aside, the rest of the ride was tame by comparison and it ended when she jerked him off to her face, allowing all his little troops to fall to the wayside. She was very cute and had lots of untapped potential but there was little chemistry and she did not swallow or take a creampie.

Scene Four: Jasmine Rouge, a gal with light hair and a boyish body, was yet another one to look older than her teenage years as she masturbated in the red bedroom (almost everything in the bedroom was red). Her make up was garish to the point where she looked to be covering up several years' worth of wrinkles, masturbating until she was joined by both Jean Yves LeCastel and Titus Steele. She showed all the passion of a Czech streetwalker trying to get to her next customer as she jerked and sucked them off, the guys tapping her pussy and ass in multiple positions (culminating in a short DP). She was receptive enough as a passive cock socket but boring in terms of giving a visually pleasing ride. The scene ended when the men rubbed out loads to her face and mouth that she consciously spit out (and the cameraman followed it).

Scene Five: Boroka Bolls and Eve Mensen, a brunette and blonde team up, may not have been teenagers but at least they seemed fit and willing as they played with each other on the bed in the purple room (the walls were purple). Lacking in the curves department like most of the ladies of the show (which seems to be how the producers were determining their age appeal), they were going through the motions of the show as they engaged in lesbian sex with the colorful vibrator until David Perry and Bruno SX walked in to save the day. While Bruno was old enough to be their father, David (who isn't exactly young these days) seemed more like an older brother in terms of age disparity, and the oral sex began in earnest. All four of them did at least some oral and the gals tried to offer up some modest riding skills during the vaginal action, ending the scene with two facials that were purposefully wasted; not swallowed or creamed into the gals. There was the tiniest bit of cumswapping as the gals kissed to the fading camera but that was it.

Scene Six: Candy, a cute brunette in a blue outfit, and Roxanne Keys, the gal on the front DVD cover, were up last as they made out on the couch. They looked younger than anyone else in the cast by a substantial margin though I'd question their age for a couple of reasons (what can I say; I was a carnival age guesser in a past life) but after slowly peeling off their clothing and mildly playing with one another, Greg Centauro walked in on them. They took his cloths off too and Roxanne sucked him off while he kissed Candy. The sex included vaginal and Candy doing some ill advised anal (she looked like she was getting a root canal) but the fake moaning was terrible and even Roxanne's decent oral skills (including ATOGM) couldn't make this one replayable. He jerked off to their faces with the semen flying everywhere but the places it was supposed to go, providing consistency if nothing else.

Summary: Teenage Jizz Junkies was full of women that were not even close to being Jizz Junkies. If a couple of them were teens, they must've led a tough life that prematurely aged them but not one gal swallowed or took a creampie as advertised. The Striptease extra was missing and the sex mechanical except in a few limited cases, making this one just about the easiest Skip It to date. I have found a number of well made titles from Zero Tolerance and I can only surmise that this one slipped through the quality control process any major company like them would have in place but it was nothing at all like the advertised action. Pass this sucker up or become one yourself.

For much better choices in porn, check out: 2005's Top Porn List, 2004's Top Porn List, and 2003's Top Porn List as well as the latest Blue Room Column

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You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon



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