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Cash & Carey

Studio: Legend Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 8/2/06

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Cash & Carey

Legend/Mary Carey Productions

Genre: Feature

Director: Cash Markman

Cast: Sandra Romain, Steven St. Croix, Mary Carey, Brandi Wylde, Alana Evans, Kyle Stone, Evan Stone, Sophia, Reno
Non-sex roles by Cash Markman, Steve Austin, Slick Rhodes

Length: 95 minutes

Dates of Production: 5/4/2006, 5/5/2006

Extras: The best extra for me was the 9.5 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Captain Bob. Most of the feature was devoted to interviews but there was a little extra hardcore action too for those willing to shift through the entire thing. There was also a photogallery in the form of a slide show but that was it other than some crappy spam.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Cash & Carey was presented in a non-anamorphic widescreen color with an aspect ratio of about 1.85:1 as directed by Cash Markman for Legend Video. The lighting was generally decent, minimizing the grain and video noise as well as providing accurate fleshtones. The composition of the camera work was not always favorable to the ladies but I thought a decided majority of the time the ladies were the primary consideration. The audio was presented in a 2.0 LPCM with little separation between the channels and average dynamic range, much like the expected sonic quality of the estimated budget would allow. The vocals were clear and the music minimal but there really wasn't much to say about this aspect of the movie either in favor or against it.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: Those who know Mary Carey are probably already familiar with her promotional efforts of her political career (perennial candidate for Governor of California) but she has been a porn performer for several years too. Now under contract for Legend Video, she has made Cash & Carey, her 3rd movie for Legend. The story was a movie within a movie about the crazy shit that happens on a porn set taken to the extreme, including the death of a performer and a nosy cop that continually get in the way of director Cash Markman (playing himself) trying to please diva Mary Carey (also playing herself). Here's a quick look at the scenes from the movie by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used at all:

Scene One: Sandra Romain, the Romanian brunette anal queen, ignored everything around her (including director Cash Markman), as she gyrated and rubbed herself on the lap of Steven St. Croix in the hotel room. The scene bounced back and forth between the cast and crew with Sandra getting her ass eaten out by Steven during some face sitting. She responded by slobbing his knob heatedly which led to him porking her ass in doggy on the couch. They mixed up the positions a little bit and she breathlessly gasped as she diddled herself while he screwed her, providing some active riding herself. The scene then ended when she jerked him off to a facial pop shot. They might not have had much chemistry together but the energy levels were high enough that I thought it was a fitting opening scene.

Scene Two: Mary Carey, the curvy blonde on the front DVD cover and lead of the movie, was up next in a lesbian scene with wrestler Brandi Wylde (another implant queen that looked much like the stereotypical porn performer) by the fireplace. I haven't seen Mary in a movie in a very long time and I'm pleased to say that she was looking fine, much more appealing than Brandi in fact, as the two went down on each other with tongues and toys. Sexually, the scene was far too short

Scene Three: Alana Evans, a curvy blonde that looks a lot like Jill Kelly when she was much younger, was up next in a bedroom scene with mope squad reject Kyle Stone (after he was tossed aside by Mary). She did some face sitting on him and seemed to enjoy his tonguing action on her fine little pussy. She playfully sucked him off in return; giving one of her sweet little mouth rides to him to reciprocate the warming up. They screwed in porn performance style with her on top as she used dirty talk to enhance the moment with some PTM and a titty fuck to finish out the scene. His pop shot was small and the scene too limited but I liked her nonetheless.

Scene Four: Mary Carey, again looking mighty tasty in a bikini, was on a bed with the mighty Evan Stone as she demanded when she turned down the opportunity to work with Kyle. He diddled her pussy as she gyrated and made sexy noises with the two kissing as they enjoyed each other's company. I've run into her a few times over the years and while a lot of people say mean things about her, she's always been nice to me so that enhanced the scene for me (I try to admit my personal biases). They went down on one another and they appeared to share some chemistry as they actively appreciated what took place with her giving him the best hummer of the movie. She was too passive when it came to riding his cock vaginally but at least she jerked him off to completion on her crotch, a step up from what it could have been.

Scene Five: Sophia, yet another busty gal worth checking out, was in a classy black dress on the couch with Reno as he went down on her. His oral skills weren't as solid as Evan's but she was a decent enough performer to make it look like he knew what he was doing. I wasn't keen on the large bruises on her thighs but her blowjob was nearly as good as the one Mary provided in the previous scene in terms of passion and energy levels. The good news is that she was a more active vaginal ride when on top of him so they met thrust for thrust but the other positions were less appealing. It ended when he dropped a load onto her crotch, marking the relative end of the movie within a movie.

Summary: Cash & Carey was a small budget quickie with a lot of appeal for fans of performer Mary Carey as well as those who like spoofs of the adult film industry's guerilla style shooting procedures but the limited extras and minimal scenes convinced me it was worth a Rent It for most people that aren't slavering fanboys of the cast. Cash wrote the script and it was certainly cute enough to invoke a few smiles (I'm sure Nic Andrews will appreciate the death jokes surrounding the plot given who "died") but Mary's sex scenes were not all that great compared to some of her past work and as much as I like seeing her on the small screen, this time she simply lacked some of that spark she has been known for in the past. In short, the level of fuck for the buck was such that you'll definitely want to rent Cash & Carey before shelling out your hard earned dollars unless you're a big fan of the political candidate.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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