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Ass Masters

Studio: Sex Z Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 8/3/06

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Ass Masters

Metro Interactive/Bad Ass Pictures

Genre: Anal, Compilation

Director: uncredited (some scenes by Bridgette Kerkove, Quasarman, Mike Adams)

Cast: Olivia Saint, Nika, Tyce Bune, Karianna, Mark Wood, Dominica Leoni, Benjamin Bratt, Amber Michaels, Frank Fortuna, Shelbee Myne, Pat Myne, Paris Showers, Mark Davis, Alana Evans, Brian Surewood, Flick Shagwell, Friday, Kiki Daire

Length: 165 minutes

Date of Production: 6/7/2001 to 12/8/2003

Extras: There were some trailers, a slide show, and some spam.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Ass Masters was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by a variety of directors over the years for Metro Interactive. Due to the age and budget of the original scenes, the picture quality varied more than a little bit with many scenes showing moderately weak lighting that added to the grain and video noise present. The DVD mastering also added in a layer of minor issues as did the compositional work of some of the directors, a number of scenes looking far less than favorable to the female cast than you would expect to see in contemporary scenes shot over the last year or so. The editing was also choppy on several of the scenes though I did not see all of the originals to know if these were the complete versions of the scenes. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital but that was how they were processed only; none of them had any detected separation between the channels and the dynamic range was limited in most cases as well. On a positive note, the lame music was rarely so loud as to interfere with the vocals, when any music was present in the first place.

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Body of Review: Metro Interactive is one of those companies that gives me pause at times over the wide range of quality they offer in their movies. On one hand, they may release a cutting edge, well crafted DVD with tremendous replay and stroke value while on the other hand; they have offered a whole lot of "product" over the years that looked like it was shot by a drunk on a binge who was told to keep the budget so low as to barely cover the cost of his booze (John Bone comes to mind). Regardless, this means that in the Metro vaults, there are scores of scenes shot by a varied assortment of directors who had all sorts of motivations and made a number of mistakes on the company dime. This leads me to today's review of Ass Masters, another unlabeled compilation (I hate when they try to pawn off old scenes as new by not properly labeling them) from their archives. The theme for the day was anal scenes and aside from a partial cast list on the front DVD cover, there were no credits to be found, possibly an attempt to cover up where the scenes came from. Still, having watched scores of pornos over the last 25 years, I recognized at least a few scenes and feel comfortable stating that all of them were shot long enough ago that many of the cast will appear to be "new" to most fans watching today. Here's a partial breakdown of the scenes by cast (with the caveat that I was not familiar with several of the ladies) and action, noting that no condoms were used:

Scene One: Olivia Saint, Nika, and Tyce Bune, were up first as they kissed in bed in front of some tribal wall hangings in a scene I believe came from Backseat Driver 16. Olivia was the more sexually aggressive of the two and the scene contained oral, vaginal, and anal sex with all the trimmings, much like all the other scenes in the compilation did. While the gals didn't appear to have any chemistry with each other or Tyce, the energy levels were good enough that the scene had some minor replay value. It ended with Olivia taking the facial straight from Nika's ass.

Scene Two: Karianna, a lean brunette with a star tattoo that gave her identity away, was up next on the couch with Mark Wood in another scene that looked to be from Backseat Driver 16. There was a lot more foot fetish action this time and she seemed somewhat out of it or otherwise not interested but each did what was expected of them. Again, there wasn't much chemistry but she took the cock hard enough when impaling herself vaginally, slowly down to a passive halt when doing anal before the facial.

Scene Three: Dominica Leoni, sporting dark hair and a smaller arm tattoo then I recall her having (it grew over the years, yes?), was up next on a couch while dressed in a fetish corset and stockings with Benjamin Bratt after a guest appearance by Bridgette Kerkove at the onset of the scene. The oral was pretty good here and the toy used to stretch her rectum made the anal possible, if not exactly a welcome hallmark of her favorite things to do. She was largely passive and seemed distant but professionally cold, doing what was needed for the scene but not enjoying it much.

Scene Four: Amber Michaels and Frank Fortuna were up next as they made out on the lawn by the pool in a scene I think came from Ass Backwards. The music was worse here than anywhere else in the movie as it overpowered the vocals in the beginning but the worst part about the scene was the lack of enthusiasm outside of the performance mode both seemed to go into when they were working each other over. The oral was okay and the vaginal barely a blip on the screen with the anal the best thing about it as she rocked back on his cock in doggy. It also had a decent facial but her look at the camera spoke volumes about her desire to be there a minute longer than she needed to be.

Scene Five: Shelbee Myne was up next as she blew Pat Myne in the swimming pool in a scene from Quasarman's Stop My Ass Is On Fire 2. Pat was skinny (speaking loudly as to how old the scene was) but her breasts were not natural so we're talking a couple of generations in porn years. They seemed to be on the down side as a couple here though as she was more into it than he was; marked by the minor aspects you'll see if you watch their expressions. Her anal caused a reaction on her face akin to what most men would provide if getting anally assaulted (a big look of pain) so your mileage may vary as to how much you'll enjoy this oldie moldy scene.

Scene Six: Paris Showers, an all natural cutie with blue eyes and light hair, was up next with Mark Davis on a black couch under a large skylight. He spit on her as they kissed and diddled her pussy as she moaned like a cheap stripper working over a drunk patron in a club. At one point, it looked like he was going to fist her but settled on four fingers in her ass as he stretched her open for the ensuing anal that came later. Her oral was unremarkable in how it showed her inexperience and the rest of the scene was almost as good. I was never convinced that she was having fun as she put up with his penetrative acts for the money.

Scene Seven: Alana Evans, a cute blonde that has been in porn for a very long time but still manages to get my heart racing, was up next with Brian Surewood. Her resemblance to a very young Jill Kelly was what initially interested me in her years ago but her sexual skill was often better and this scene in the home gymnasium was such an example. He rimmed her as she bent over the equipment and her moans, fake or real, seemed to at least approach the level of her having fun. He fingered her ass and she playfully sucked his cock, leading to some moderately energetic anal. She used some dirty talk and seemed to coax him a little into giving her a faster tempo, elevating the heat of the scene a lot compared to most of the other scenes in the compilation. Her body was too girlish or petite for me to really get into but I have to admit that I'd have done her after looking at her ID.

Scene Eight: Flick Shagwell, in one of her earliest scenes that I remember, had dark hair and a keen appetite for cock as she took on both Brian Surewood and Mark Davis in this scene from Stop My Ass Is On Fire 6. I haven't seen the scene in years but recall how much she turned me on back then before I got so jaded on porn yet she still managed to float my boat more than a little bit as she sucked and fucked them fairly well. Like Alana's scene, there were some significant limitations present but even doing a generic scene on a motel room bed seemed to work for her more than a little bit as she ended up getting DP'd and worked over nicely. In all, it was among the best scenes of the movie largely due to the way Mike Quasar captured the heat of the trio and her playfulness that was so evident in major parts of the scene.

Scene Nine: Friday, a chunky blonde built for comfort over speed, was up next on the couch with Mark Wood in a scene that I'm sure I've seen in the past. Her full breasts looked inviting as did that plump ass of hers but anyone doubting it was her could always point to the large "F" tattoo on her crotch to insure they knew who this was. Her oral was fair this time, almost as if it were her second or third scene of the day and the energy levels were lacking from some of her better work. She gave up the ass with some energy but almost as if she were trying to finish him off quickly. Still, as a fan of hers from the past, even a weaker scene of hers worked for me so your mileage may vary compared to mine.

Scene Ten: Last up was a brunette that looked very familiar but her sweet ass aside, there were no obvious tattoos or guidelines by which to identify her in this scene with Brian Surewood on the staircase. The hair could have been a wig and if this was Kiki Daire in disguise, I'd have lost money on the bet though I do know I wanted to tap that ass myself. There was a lot of tease as he went down on her ass and pulled her panties up the crack to give her a delightful wedgie, leading to her slobbing his knob fairly well. The anal was so short as to be almost nonexistent but it was her passive demeanor that ultimately killed it for me, ending the set of vignettes on a low note.

Summary: Ass Masters was an okay compilation of anal scenes with a bunch of uncredited (maybe under-credited would be more appropriate a term) performers having anal sex. If you find a copy cheap, by all means give it a look but I dislike the practice of offering older scenes without labeling them as such enough that I feel obligated to rate this one as a Skip It. In fairness, the quality of the scenes varied a lot and only about 4 or 5 were worth watching at all with little replay value so if you rent it first and find it to your liking, so be it. In short, Ass Masters was a low end compilation with some decent scenes but the limitations were many and the positive attributes few and far between so don't shell out a lot of dough for it.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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