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Gonzo Girlz

Studio: Metro » Review by Disco Dirge » Review Date: 8/8/06

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

Genre: Anal Compilation
Director: Various
Cast:: Ciera Sage, Kelli Tyler, Tatiana, Estelle Lawrance, Flick Shagwell, Dynamite, Melanie Jagger, Trinity James, Aria, Cailey Taylor, Mark Wood, Brian Surewood, Jason Zupato, TJ Cummings, Alex Rox, Chas Alexander, Mark Davis, Tony T, Alex Sanders
Length: 150 mins
Production Date: 2006


In a Nutshell - As Varied as the Number of Scenes
Compilations, by their very nature, offer up as many different styles of filmmaking as sex scenes. There are no clear standards in porn creation, so some sequences can have adequate lighting and good production values, while others can simply consist of a guy, a gal and a camcorder. That's what we get with Gonzo Girls – 10 installments of suck and fuck, 10 differing visual concepts. Some of the action here is fierce and aggressive. Some is soft and almost romantic. From a pure visual standpoint, the 1.33:1 full screen image is clean and free of defects. Overall, this is a fairly good presentation.

In a Nutshell - Nothing More than the Barest of Bones
Another problem with compilations is the lack of any reasonable added content. As part of the disc, we are treated to trailers, web/phone sex ads, and a gallery of screen grabs. That's it. No bonus scene. No behind the scenes featurette. Nothing but the most minimal of added content.



First Impressions:
Compilations create interesting problems for critics. First of all, they are nothing more than a clip show, scenes or sequences taken out of context and offered up as separate, slightly surreal, entities. Usually developed around a theme (tits, ass, blowjobs, hand jobs, etc) and taken from as many fornication facets as fit the bill, they can either be incredibly entertaining or boring as Hell. After all, once you've seen one "barely legal beauty" giving it all to some nameless meat puppet, there is no reason to venture forward. That is why the best compilations spice things up, using different styles (straight, gonzo, fetish) and performers (amateur, old hat) to help guarantee that every sequence is different. Toss in the tendency to go overboard with the hardcore quantity (there are 10 scenes included here) and you typically have a decent adult diversion. Sadly, Gonzo Girlz is not very interesting – and it has everything to do with the lackluster lewdness provided.

The Sex Scenes:

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Short scenes, frequent fuck ups in continuity, an overall bland level of balling – these are all elements that undermine the effectiveness of Gonzo Girlz. You can tell when a sequence has been lifted whole from a previous release – the sex starts out normal and builds from there. But other times throughout this title, we experience a kind of catch as coitus can. The blowjob arrives before the fade in is complete, and a cum shot is followed by an even quicker dissolve. On top of that, there are odd cuts here and there, moments where the positions change radically for almost no reason. One moment we're staring at doggy, the next, anal cowgirl is well underway. Overall, this leads to a kind of arousal aggravation. Passion and flow are as important to XXX material as talent and attractiveness. Gonzo Girlz is sadly lacking in all four categories.

Scene 1:Ciera Sage, Mark Wood
Acts Performed:Foreplay, Cunnilingus, Blowjob, Cowgirl, Doggy, Mish, $hot to Mouth
Score: 1.5 out of 5
Basic balling at it dullest. Mark makes an effort and Ciera seems right there with him, but in the end, they fail to deliver an ounce of chemistry or carnality. This is about as passionless as porn gets.

Scene 2: Kelli Tyler, Brian Sherwood
Acts Performed:Cunnilingus, G-Spot Fingering, Blowjob, Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, Doggy, $hot on Face
Score: 2 out of 5
Surewood sure looks goofy with his out of whack braided goatee and homeless man hairdo, but he does manage to make Kelli moan with ersatz arousal. This pair puts on a good show, and ends up delivering one of the best sequences, overall, in this otherwise lackluster DVD presentation.

Scene 3:Tatiana, Jason Zupato
Acts Performed: Cunnilingus, Blowjob, Mish, Doggy, Spoon, Cowgirl, $hot on Face
Score: 1.5 out of 5
The only thing that stands out in this scene, aside from Ms. T's rather dumpy upper body, is the interracial element. It is never really played up, but Tatiana seems to like Jason's way with a wang. While not completely horrible, the faux fornication here is routine at best.

Scene 4: Estelle Lawrance, TJ Cummings
Acts Performed: Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering Anal Fingering, Mish, Anal Mish, Gaping, Doggy, $hot on Face
Score: 1.5 out of 5
Talk about your wham bam thank you ma'ams – this couple isn't onscreen for more than a minute than TJ is shoving his fingers inside Estelle's many meat holes. Then, oddly, we get regular and anal mish and the scene is basically over. Very dull and unoriginal.Scene 5:Flick Shagwell, Alex Rox
Acts Performed:Cunnilingus, Fingering, Blowjob, Man on Top 69, Anal Spoon, Gaping, $hot on Asshole, Finger Licking
Score: 2 out of 5
Flick is dressed up in full leather gear, which is kind of intriguing in a bondage fetish sort of way. Alex can't shut up, constantly chattering throughout most of the scene. In the end, they match up rather well, and do a good job of selling the sex. Even the attempted cream pie is novel in this otherwise redundant display.

Scene 6:Dynamite, Chas Alexander
Acts Performed:Cunnilingus, Blowjob, Face Fucking, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Doggy, A to M, $hot in Mouth
Score: .5 out of 5
God this is disgusting. Ms. D is dressed up like she's 12, and Mr. Alexander plays the pseudo-pedophile a little too well. The Dirge doesn't like the whole "barely legal/underage" ideal for pornography. It smacks of exploitation and makes him physically uncomfortable. This couple could be carnal champions and he still wouldn't give them the XXX time of day.

Scene 7: Melanie Jagger, Marc Davis
Acts Performed:Blowjob, Spit Sharing, Face Fucking, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, A to M, Gaping, Anal Pile Driver, Anal Mish, $hot to Mouth
Score: 2.5 out of 5
Man Pig Marc Davis and the equally eager Melanie make for a sensational poolside pairing. Hot sun causing them to sweat and blush, daylight making the fuck and suck that much more memorable, this is the best sequence of sex in the whole set. You know you're in for a good time when the pair forgets the camera is present and merely gets down to the diddling. With length being the only issue regarding the determination of score, this is an otherwise electrifying scene.

Scene 8:Trinity James, Tony T
Acts Performed:Face Fucking, Blowjob, Bal lSucking, Dick Beating, Fingering, A to M, Bead Play, Beads in Ass, Bead A to M, 8 Finger Ass Fucking, Anal Mish, Anal Spoon, Anal Doggy, $hot in Mouth, Swallowing
Score: 1 out of 5
Tony T is a toad, an overly aggressive arsehole who hasn't earned the right to be so borderline abusive to women. He uses his cock as a nightstick, beating poor Trinity about the face and head like she's violated some manner of carnal crime. The result is a ridiculously pompous porn scene. Even the appearance of some rather hearty anal beads can't save this overdone offering.

Scene 9:Aria, Mark Wood
Acts Performed:Blowjob, Ball Sucking, Cowgirl, Anal Doggy, Anal Pile Driver, $hot in Mouth
Score: 1 out of 5
With his second appearance in this title, Mr. Wood gets the distinction of being boring in 20% of this DVD. He and his operatic partner must be so proud.

Scene 10:Gallery Taylor, Alex Sanders
Acts Performed:Blowjob, Cowgirl, Mish, Doggy, $hot in Mouth, Swallowing
Score: 1 out of 5
So slight it barely warrants a mention, this tepid 10 minutes of balling is like watching a softcore scene with the penetration accidentally left in. What we have here is supposed to be romantic and sensuous, but all it ends up being is slow and snooze inducing. Still it's appropriate for Gonzo Girlz to go out this way. The rest of the compilation has been, with INCREDIBLY rare exception, the dreariest adult DVD in a long while.

Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating:1.5 out of 5 (Skip It)
Cohabitation Certification:Granted
Like the cops say in all those clichéd crime dramas – there is definitely "nothing to see here". If you're a fan of any one of these gals, the Dirge recommends you seek our something other than her efforts in this mediocre marketing ploy. If the set had been steamy, loaded with hardcore adult goodness, the rating would have been far, far better. As it stands, there is really no value in seeing shitty scenes delivered in a bare bones digital package. Therefore, the only score acceptable is Skip It. For couples, this is completely calm. A Cohabitation Certification is easily awarded. Definitely not a greatest hits package of girls going 'gonzo', this slight, insignificant DVD is not worth the price. Even if they were giving it away with an even better XXX title, the Dirge would recommend holding out for something better. This is worse than generic. It's junk.


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