Ah, Generic Porn that most flavorless of flesh feasts. As the adult industry keeps pumping out the product, literally picking people up off the street to fill the need for web/pay-per-view/DVD material, the level of lewdness dissipates exponentially. Now, to the casual fan, that may seem like a crock. After all, every new disc is an adventure in XXX entertainment, a chance to see new players in action, and old favorites filling out the running time. But for an adult film critic, the overwhelming sameness of the suck and fuck being offered is readily apparent. Juicy #4
is a good example of the piss poor porn paradigm. Most of the actresses are acceptable, and their meat puppet paramours provide that oversized shaft that post-millennial product demands. But when you put them together, and add in the handheld camcorder creativity of the entire production, you get something akin to teen pop music oversimplified, interchangeable, and common.
The Sex Scenes:
A quick look at the positions being presented and one can see that the scenes in Juicy #4
are nothing to write home about. Barely registering any chemistry or passion parameters, and overflowing with director Bridgette Kerkovey's arcane lens craft, this is busy balling for the sake of sameness. Whether it's close-ups that crop out everything other than flesh forced into folds, or attempts at personalizing the porn by focusing exclusively on faces, Kerkovey is as guilty as her lackluster lust lackers for the overall paltriness of the pounding. And the sad thing is that many of the cast - Brandi Lyons, Lexi Bardo, Gen Padova, Giana Lynn have substantial sex film credits. Obviously, the lack of premise or originality drives what are typically talented cumsters into dull, soulless schlubs.
Scene 1: Brandi Lyons, Scott Lyons
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Salad Tossing, Blowjob, Cowgirl, Doggy, Mish, $hot on Butt
Score: 1.5 out of 5
As a rule, unless you are Nicole Sheridan and Voodoo, couples should not work together onscreen. Now, one would argue that such an intimate knowledge of your partner's particulars would result in something far more fiery, but the Dirge believes in an opposing credo: familiarity breeds carnal contempt. In this case, Brandi and Scott are like an old married pair in the sack. They put on a good show, but it's all bullshit. There is very little fire in their fucking, and even less sizzle from the suck. Instead, they do what the majority of the talent will do here they go through the motions before delivering the predetermined pop shot. How sad.
Scene 2: Jasmine, Alberto Ray, Mr. X
Acts Performed: Spoon, Blowjob, Mish, Reverse Cowgirl, Anal Reverse Cowgirl, Attempted Gaping, A to M, Anal Doggy, Anal Spoon, Anal Mish, Face Fucking, Ball Sucking, $hot on Ass
Score: 2 out of 5
What does it say about a threesome when one of the parties pulls out literally? Somewhere along the line, this trio becomes a duo (the disappearance of the unknown participant, who is referred to here as "Mr. X" is never explained) and, believe or not, the scene never misses the man. Jasmine does make her dumper available for multiple probings, but even this windfall of ass antics grows commonplace after a while. There is just something inherently average about the filmmaking here, an aesthetic that drains the desire out of a sequence. Between the less than successful gaping and the endless wait for the pop, this is some sloppy, stale sex.
Scene 3: Lexi Bardot, Christian
Acts Performed: Blowjob, Salad Tossing, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl, V to M, Anal Cowgirl, Anal Mish, A to M, $hot on Ass
Score: 2.5 out of 5
Proving that partnership is just as important as positions, Lexi and Christian connect at some baser level and deliver the best scene in the set. Granted, that's a lot like saying that in a town full of lepers you located someone to shake hands with, but this couple really tries to elevate the Eros, and for the most part, they succeed. There is a nice balance between vaginal and anal sex, and the body dynamic between the brawny Mr. C and the slight Ms. B works out well. Only the crazy camerawork adversely affects this otherwise arousing effort.
Scene 4: Giana Lynn, Chris Mountain
Acts Performed: Cabaret, Blowjob, Ball Action, Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl, $hot on Ass
Score: 1 out of 5
Having reached this DVD's apex of stimulation in the previous scene, it's all downhill from here on in. Chris and Giana do what some might call "Basic Balling 101". She dances around and then sucks his cock. He lies on his back and lets her do both variations of range roving on his rod. Add in a perfunctory pop and there you have it Generic Porn. While it's not the worst waste of hardcore time on the disc (that's coming up next), this is clearly a case of talent tripping up the possible XXX-citement
Scene 5: Annika, Gen Padova
Acts Performed: Standard Girl/Girl Action, Rabbit Vibrator Action, Regular Vibrator Action, Vibrator Mish, Vibrator Doggy:
Score: 1 out of 5
Oh boy, here we go again. Two girls, a couple of oversized adult novelties, and lots of time to waste. Annika and Gen may look incredibly slutty as they squirm and worm all over the bed, but they generate about as much heat as an Antarctic afternoon in this dull same sex stupidity. There is lots of feigned horniness, some awkward toy play, and the standard bush butter churning once Doc Johnson's joywands start finding the fetlocks. After a series of titles that actually tried to make something fresh and original out of the standard lesbian shtick, the Dirge now remembers why he hates such Sappho sludge in the first place.
Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating: 2 out of 5 ( Skip It)
Cohabitation Certification: Granted
Here's the commercial caveat for all you fans of digital drilling. If you really don't care what your performers look like, if in your mind, all fucking is basically the same, if the only reason you watch porn is to see the never-boring sight of girls getting dick shoved into their orifices, then by all means, order up a copy of Juicy #4. Though the title means nothing in the grand scheme of sexual things, you'll not be disappointed by the lame level of fuck and suck provided. Of course, this means couples will find nothing offensive here either. Therefore, a Cohabitation Certification is easily warranted. On the other hand, if you want pornography that's interesting, aggressive, inventive and powerful, this is not the DVD for you. In fact, for most fans of adult entertainment, this title earns an easy Skip It. The rationale behind such a rating is simple you won't see anything here that you haven't already witnessed a thousand times over. Any juice this series once had is all dried up now.
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