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Teenage Spermaholics #5

Studio: Jules Jordan Video » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 8/14/06

XCritic's Advice: Recommended

Teenage Spermaholics 5

Jules Jordan Video

Genre: Gonzo

Director: Mike John

Cast: Lexi Luv, Erik Everhard, John Strong, Brian Surewood, Arnold Schwartzenpecker, Dick Nasty, Kyle Stone, Mike Hash, Roxxxy Rush, Jon Dough, Jerry, Lela Star, Scotty Lyons, Chelsie Rae, Aaron Hampton, Lee Bang, Lefty Larue, Tone Capone, Sean Michaels, Mysti May, James Deen, Ariel Alexus, Dave Hardman; Suave, Riley Mason, Mike John (last two in the bonus scene only)

Length: 239 minutes

Date of Production: 6/2/2006

Extras: The best extra for me was the bonus scene between Riley Mason and Mike John on disc two. They spent 18.5 minutes with each other, her providing a great hummer and an active vaginal ride to the director as shot in POV fashion. She's really not my type of preferred performer in terms of looks but it was a solid scene by the couple and a decent extra to enjoy with some level of frequency. I liked the almost 19 minute long Behind the Scenes feature as well since it showed more sex, lots of nudity, and a number of humorous moments as Mike talked to the cast (explaining their roles in the various scenes). Some gals were given more time than I thought they were worth but only because others were so much more interesting to watch. The other extras included the cumshot recap, a photogallery, and a trailer to Racial Tension.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Teenage Spermaholics 5 was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as originally shot for DVD by director Mike John for Jules Jordan Video. The colors were solid, the flesh tones accurate, and the lighting almost always very good; making the picture look well done. I would have preferred more fill lighting but this preference isn't shared by all since proper lighting sometimes reveals the many minor physical flaws some performers have but I wanted to note it in case Mike was reading so he could work on it in future efforts. The composition of the picture tended to enhance the look of the ladies in almost every case with few variations in this regard without some of the minor issues that arose from his last movie for the company. One thing of importance to note, there were no compression artifacts observed in the movie this time, showing another area where the DVD improved. The audio was presented in the usual 2.0 Dolby Digital stereo English but the amount of separation and dynamic range was minimal; thankfully, the vocals were clearly understood. In general though, there's a reason why people turn to Mike John when they want a great gonzo movie and much of it has to do with his solid technical skills.

Body of Review: Mike John has been one of the leading POV (point of view) directors in gonzo porn for a long time, providing some excellent work at a couple of companies that he ended up leaving over various issues. Now that he's working at Jules Jordan Video, I expect even more of him since I know the kind of quality Jules expects of his team. Mike's latest release for the company is Teenage Spermaholics 5, a series of scenes where the ladies are into swallowing semen after actively working out the loads using all their skills and body parts, typically in POV fashion. One look at the front DVD cover will tell you if the ladies are up to your appearance standards, keeping in mind that they were almost all skilled in the art of milking a nut (or several). Here's a quick look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that the men weren't identified in most cases but that condoms weren't used (for those who care):

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Scene One: Lexi Luv, the gal flashing her precious little titties on the upper left hand corner of the front cover, was up first as she played a bitchy girlfriend in need of some hard cock. When Mike's car broke down, she went to the nearest house, one happening to be occupied by three men who could give her what she wanted, nay, needed; studly Erik Everhard, muscular John Strong, and parking lot pirate Brian Surewood. They were bored and she seemed heaven sent as they offered her their rods for sucking. She dropped to her knees with a practiced ease, slobbing their knobs like she was on fire. The POV camerawork mixed in well with the other styles to showcase her pretty face but it was her enthusiasm that really enhanced the action more than anything else (her looks were just icing on the cake). The rest of the scene emphasized her vaginal athleticism but she always seemed to favor sucking cock as her primary means of getting the men off. When I found out she was a Boston native, it explained a lot but she looked younger than the 25 years the agency website listed her as being. In all, it wasn't a perfect opener in terms of circus act sex but she was a nice warm up as she swallowed their loads and asked for more from the secondary team of mope squad members. The ones I could recognize by their voice were Kyle Stone, Dick Nasty, and Arnold Schwartzenpecker with Mike Hash dropping in when she teabagged Kyle's gonads. There was also rimming in this second part of the scene but her blowing them was the main event for round two. She swallowed all the semen they jerked out so fans of hummers will be happy.

Scene Two: Roxxxy Rush, the attractive brunette on the lower left hand corner of the cover with the legs in the air and pink sweater on, was up next to serve as therapy for Mike who was frantic about his now missing girlfriend. She had more time to tease the camera as she slowly undressed with her eventual partners to include Jon Dough, Jerry, Erik Everhard, and Brian Surewood (Erik was working the camera from the sound of the POV operator). Roxxxy was much younger than Lexi but also reportedly hails from Boston, probably coming from one of the suburbs if this is true (I'd guess Newton from her voice), and a true gem in terms of looks and sexy demeanor in my estimation. She started out the actual sex by blowing Erik, working him from a limp state (which he almost never has by the way) to a full erection, using her hand and mouth in a coordinated attack. The titty fucking was a bonus I liked a lot but she seemed intent on pleasing him as she followed him into the other room where the rest of the men were waiting. They surrounded her for some oral action too, eventually taking them in her pussy and ass as well though never with as much appreciation as hammering down her lovely throat. She was an active rider of cock in her pussy and ass, with Jon getting first dibs on her backdoor after Brian tore into her pussy like crazy. She did some DP too but I preferred watching her handle one guy in her poking holes, even while sucking down a rod, since it gave her more leverage to aggressively appreciate their poles. It ended well after the one hour mark was passed with some semen going down her throat and an anal creampie that was swallowed after she shat it out (making it a gross ending for me even with as much heat as she produced throughout the action).

Scene Three: Lela Star, the cutie with the nice ass featured on the lower right hand side of the front DVD cover, was up next as she teased the camera on the staircase, lifting her skirt and jilling herself a bit before being joined by Erik Everhard and Brian Surewood. Erik and Brian began her descent into depravity as the Floridian gave her all to orally excite them and bounce on their cocks like she was on a mission to drain their balls dry the old fashioned way. She's still fairly new to porn and showed Erik that he was clearly her preferred partner but she impaled herself on each of them while blowing the other. Erik was getting so into doing her pussy that he almost lost his load early but it wasn't until the later titty fuck that he coated her tongue with his semen for swallowing. Brian then popped a load onto her face after even more vaginal pounding, leaving her wanting more since much of his wad flew over her head. Scotty, Dick, Arnold, Mike, and maybe one other guy then gave her the cock she needed to suck with her swallowing the resulting loads easily.

Scene Four: Chelsie Rae, the blonde on the middle of the left hand side of the front cover, was up first on disc two as she masturbated and teased on the stairs inside the house. When she bent over, her ass looked much fuller then when she stood straight up but fans of all natural racks and slightly cold looks will not mind this one bit (she was almost scowling at first). Her crawling looked good too with the ass in the air to hook up with the black mope squad of Aaron Hampton, Lee Bang, Lefty Larue, and Tone Capone (my familiarity with them is only moderate but I'm sure about three of them). They worked her mouth pretty hard as they mumbled minor commentary and played with her body a bit. While she was initially projecting a bad attitude, working with the brothers seemed to liven her up as much as it has in other releases she's been in, from her blowjobs to her teabagging to her appreciation of their fingers readying her pussy. They settled for oral only though and she swallowed their semen down handily before moving on to the primary partner of the scene; Sean Michaels. Sean projected the same kind of class he has long been known for in porn and I could see why she'd be even more willing to do anything he wanted as she provided some good head and a decent ride on his cock vaginally. She jumped the shark a bit when she started doing anal with him, sucking the cock clean with some ATM action, thankfully moving back to a vaginal round with a creampie to push out and swallow. I enjoy interracial action as much as anyone but she wasn't firing on all cylinders here, weakening the scene for me substantially (but it was clear she liked Sean a whole lot and probably would've run away with him if given the chance).

Scene Five: Mysti May, the hotty featured on the lower middle of the front cover with a wicked smile on her face as she bent over with her finger in her mouth, was up next as she played boyfriend John Strong with a large audience of mope squad members including the majority of black guys listed above, Kyle Stone, and Mike Hash. She teased them and then blew them silly, swallowing their loads down with a practiced ease of the professional performer. There were other fine ladies in the cast but she was the main reason I picked it up to review given the heat of her recent performances. She didn't truly swallow all their cum as much of it landed on her face but that was when John came home with James Deen and Brian Surewood; making her eat up whatever was left dripping down from her five blowbang buddies. There was a lot of POV camerawork here too but if anything, her enthusiasm increased a couple of levels as she made it up to John and the others by vaginally fucking and orally sucking them like she was on fire. The active riding was my favorite part although some of you might prefer her over the top vocals (as usual, she was quite loud in her playful mannerisms) with loads going all over her mouth (though an earlier one when on top of her pussy). I really liked the chemistry she showed as it combined with her energy and enthusiasm, making the scene another winner for replay value and strokability.

Scene Six: Ariel Alexus, the curvy black gal on the upper right of the front cover, was up last playing a bitchy girlfriend that proved Mike wrong when he said he would never be made a chump by a woman again. He planned a barbeque and she sent him to get her some caviar just before his friends arrived, treating him like a bitch in the process. Rather than slap her silly and dump her on the corner as some men would do, he ran out like a madman, leaving her to tease the camera in POV fashion in the sunny back yard of his home. While he was out, Dave Hardman and Brian Surewood came over and she kept them occupied in the only way she knew how; essentially taking them onto the living room couch to blow and fuck them. They kidded around about having sex and it took her all of two seconds to encourage their advances as Brian went down on her and David pulled out his modest little cock for her to suck. They took turns screwing her mouth, pussy, and ass; even doing a DP but she was far more at home with one dick screwing her at a time so the scene suffered to an extent when they double teamed her holes. They rubbed out loads to her mouth and that left her open to the mope squad coming in to finish the job (Kyle, Dick, Arnold, a black guy and at least one other white dude that never had his face displayed). They popped off all over her face, leaving her looking whiter than Casper with the only variation being a short oil up and titty fuck before they left in a hurry.

Summary: Teenage Spermaholics 5 was another release by director Mike John that provided about two movies worth of fucking, sucking, and general depravity. Some of the cast were top notch and even the worse wasn't bad so I rated this one as Recommended with the caveat that big fans of the POV style action and blowjob aficionados will probably rate it even higher. In summary, for lots of fuck for the buck, varied gonzo action, and tremendous amounts of hummers being given and loads being swallowed, Teenage Spermaholics 5 will be one of the top titles of the year. Mike John was missed and in his absence, a score of lesser directors tried to fill his mighty big shoes but now that he's back, he seems poised to provide the kind of stroke flicks that his fans have demanded.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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