XCritc.com Adult DVD Reviews
Porn Reviews » Adult Movie Reviews » Absolute Asses

Absolute Asses

Studio: Amateur District » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 11/28/06

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Absolute Asses

Red Light District/Amateur District

Genre: Gonzo

Director: John McGill

Cast: Dasani Lezian, Jordan Ashley, Riley Evans, John McGill, Brianna Beach, McKenzee Miles, Leah Wilde, Traci Lynn

Length: 147.5 minutes

Dates of Production: 6/5/2006, 6/8/2006, 6/10/2006, 6/12/2006, 6/18/2006

Extra's: The only extra was a photogallery.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Absolute Asses was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by John McGill for the new Red Light District subsidiary, Amateur District. The lighting came from a variety of sources, sometimes using the sun and other times the ambient light of a well lit room; almost always banishing grain and video noise as a result but still maintaining the raw edges of an amateur production. Keeping in mind that most productions of that nature look and sound like shit on their best day, I'm pleased to announce that this one looked just fine in most ways, even if the camera moved an awful lot and the editing left much of it in the finished project. While not as solid looking as the usual RLD movie, that didn't appear to be the intent and even the composition of the shots seemed to at least pay a nod to enhancing the looks of the decidedly mixed looking cast, though in an uneven manner indicative of mediocre "mainstream" porn. The DVD mastering added no major compression artifacts or edge enhancement for those who care either. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English although I'm sure the mike attached to the camera was all that was used as a source so there was no separation or major dynamic range to speak of. The voices were fairly discernable and this added to the charm of the production for those who care, albeit in a manner begging for more quality.

-- sponsored by --

Body of Review: John McGill is an unknown to me as far as porn is concerned but his recent work for Red Light District under their fledgling Amateur District label is bound to change all of that. His first release for the label, though not properly credited, is Absolute Asses, a series of scenes shot by gals without a hundred scenes under their belts as in most porn. The press release for the subsidiary said this of the idea behind the company: "Red Light District's new Amateur District label is releasing its first title, Absolute Asses, on Monday. Starring fresh-faced newcomer Riley Evans, the title shows how young amateurs do it for the cameras. "That's the whole point of the label," said Larry Schwarz, spokesman for Red Light. "These are all girls who are doing some of their first scenes in front of the cameras." The blond-haired Evans is especially hot in her scene as she teases then takes her man hard for a spirited banging. Likewise, brunette newcomer Brianna Beach shows off her round ass to her man before sucking down on his member. "These are all brand new girls from Florida who have very little experience, but love what they're doing," Schwarz said, adding that the titles will all be shot in Florida. "Like with our Candy Shop line, that deals with black and interracial, we started Amateur district to focus on a specific segment of brand new amateurs." The title also features Dasani Lezian, Tracy Lynn, Leah Wilde and McKenzee Miles." I like the idea of the company continuing to expand in order to cater to the desires of the consumer and this was a fairly decent initial effort, with lots of rough edges to work out in future volumes but enough potential to make me care. Here's a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used:

Scene One: Dasani Lezian, a lean and oiled up Latina (on the lower left hand corner of the cover), was sunbathing and enjoying a dip in her pool in the backyard, was stalked by director Jay and performer Jordan Ashley until they gathered up the balls to knock on her gate. She had a few extra pounds on her frame that looked very appealing to me, especially as Jordan helped apply another coating to her shiny body. She jumped in the pool after he got undressed, swimming up to him for a taste of his worm. She showed him a solid oral time before he did her (vaginally) in several positions with taste testing. She was energetic, enthusiastic, and fresh; ending up with his wad in her mouth by the end of the scene. While it was obvious that she was no stranger to cock, she didn't look like the cookie cutter type many companies tend to shoot these days.

Scene Two: Riley Evans, a sexy stripper type of gal with great breasts, blond hair and blue eyes, was up next on the couch as she showed her assets to the cameraman. Her unpolished act added something special to the act, even if it was purely fictional in nature, and she was soon sucking off John McGill. That didn't last long at all when he started nailing her from behind, testing the worthiness of her pussy as only a lucky guy could. Sadly, she was a passive lay that let him do all the work, reminding me of some contract gals in the industry (past and present), even as the load launched to her chest.

Scene Three: Brianna Beach, the cutie on the upper right hand corner of the front cover, was up next and while she has been in porn for awhile now, she hasn't exactly been used a lot in scenes. The setting was the pool from the first scene and her all natural body looked good to me; especially her rounded rump. The backyard tease with Jordan Ashley was interesting but they went inside to start the real sex; her blowing him fairly well to begin. It didn't last long when he started pumping her pussy but her over the top performance seemed as fake as any in porn have ever been; greatly lowering the heat for me. In her favor, she rode far better on top of his lap, giving it up mechanically but still with some sparks flying. The ending facial was okay and I think her potential is far greater then was shown here.

Scene Four: McKenzee Miles and Leah Wilde, the two gals featured on the center of the cover in bikini's, were up next as they teased the camera a little on a public beach with Jordan Ashley and John McGill. John worked the camera as usual and the bunch enjoyed some fun in the sun before going back to the bedroom for the ladies to expand on their lesbian tendencies. A change in plans led them to take on Jordan, and in a limited fashion, spend some POV time with John, sucking and sharing one another in the bed before the ladies started concentrating on Jordan almost exclusively. The vaginal sex was fairly active, if appearing performed more than natural, resulting in the two loads hitting their faces to finish up the scene.

Scene Five: Traci Lynn, a curvy little cutie with great legs, breasts, and a hot ass, was up last as she teased at the gas pumps at night. Jordan Ashley was the stud and "Michael" was on camera (even though he sounded exactly like John) and they went back to the crappy studio with her following. The sex was a standard oral with numerous vaginal positions but she seemed to be well versed in the art of milking a nut. I hope to see more of this gal given how she looked like a gal next door type that worked in strip clubs at night (the usual combination of innocent and naughty). In all, it ended as expected but she sure made me want to move to Florida to get an eyeful. With a little bit of training, she could really make a name for herself since she had lots of raw talent, pretty eyes, good looks and a smoking hot body.

Summary: Absolute Asses by John McGill and Red Light District/Amateur District didn't exactly charm the pants off of me thanks to some performances that appeared as fake as standard low budget porn and some ladies that have been in the business far longer then you'd be led to believe given the advertising but the idea that an untrained guy like John with a handheld camera could go and shoot porn in Florida for the company was a good one that I'm sure will pan out as he gains the experience needed to make better looking scenes. The cast was often cute and while the extras sucked goat turds, I still think a rating of Rent It or better is in order for Absolute Asses, thanks to the new dynamic it had to offer. I found a few of the scenes quite strokable and a couple of the ladies really need to make more porn to gain the kind of experience that'll assist them in polishing up their skills a bit.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

comments powered by Disqus
Popular Reviews

The Preacher's Daughter
First Anal 2
Hot Wife 2
Nurses Takin' On Big Dicks 3
Angela Loves Men 2
My Sister's Hot Friend 49
The Feral Woman
Anal Threesomes
Pirates 2 Stagnetti's Revenge
Curvy Girl Sexercise

Best Sellers

Featured Reviews

Get XCritic Via Email:

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner