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Nowhere Angels

Studio: Metro » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 3/7/07

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

Nowhere Angels

Metro Interactive/Cal Vista

Genre: Feature

Director: DCypher

Cast: Riley Mason, Barrett Blade, Leah Luv, Barry Scott, Veronica Jett, Eric Masterson, Cassie Courtland, Charlotte Stokely, Johnny Cobalt, Dominic, Justine Joli
Non-sex roles: Kittalli, Tanya Lee, Jessica Jeensalute, Danika Sandberg, Louise Charlemange, Jim Enright, Stephen Deliefde, PX Danny Hollywood, Thor, Dimonico, Antou, Ethan Cage

Length: 94.5 minutes

Date of Production: 1/30/2006 & 1/31/2006

Extra's: The best extra was the 31 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Dic Tracy. There was additional nudity and a lot of interviews (the primary focus of the BTS was interviews and photogallery shoots) for fans to enjoy but otherwise, it was fairly tame. There were a few trailers, a photogallery, a true double sided DVD cover, and some spam but the BTS was the only "real" extra worth mentioning.

Condoms: One

Audio/Video Quality: Nowhere Angels was presented in a non-anamorphic widescreen 1.85:1 (letterboxed) color as shot by director DCypher for release under the Cal Vista label by Metro Interactive. Shot in "Hi-Def", the movie actually looked very crisp and clear in terms of the picture. The fleshtones were accurate and the level of detail provided was quite high for a Metro release but it wasn't substantially different than most mid range porn offered these days. The composition of the shots tended to favor the ladies in an alt-porn manner, showing marked improvement from others in the field but still relying on punked out ladies too heavily for me. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English offering, not the surround sound bandied about online, and for the most part, it provided a standard porn experience but for the music. The vocals were easy to hear and the music was good this time, coming from mainstream band Dial 7, thanks in large part to Barrett Blade's participation in the project. It was a change of pace and while not going far enough, it was appreciated as a nod to the thematic elements.

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Body of Review: DCypher has long been a writing fixture in porn, eventually directing for a few companies including Metro Interactive and Club Jenna. If you've watched some of the headier movies he has written, you'll know that he has the unique ability to fuse different kinds of story telling techniques to make for some of the weirdest, admittedly focused, kinds of fiction. Some of the time, it comes across as pretentious while other times it serves to push the audience to the point of discomfort, guiding their sensibilities to make a point. This kind of artistic endeavor is tried all the time in independent movies, ones that owe allegiance only to the creator rather than the inevitable lack of commercial success (though these days, there are huge numbers of outlets for such movies to be shown and appreciated). Trying such a movie in porn is ballsy since the main reason people buy a porno is to jerk off their privates, not get a mentally stimulating workout serving as mental floss. Such was the case with the recently released Nowhere Angels; another example of Devan's version of literate pornography or "lit-porn" as he refers to it. Quoting heavily from a variety of niche writers, Justine Jolie stars as a lost soul looking for something she acknowledges that she will never find, along with a host of other lost or nowhere angels. The press release said it like this: "Porn Valley- Acclaimed director DCypher invites you to a party where you'll meet a group of young rebels... the bad kids grown-up with all the sexual angst and inspiration that is the hallmark of true passion. Shot between Los Angeles and Mojave, "Nowhere Angels" is the story of several young adults coming of age in a burned out wasteland filled with drugs, religions, rebellion, and sex. Measuring their lives in lust, their angels appear from nowhere like messengers sent by the Gods of fornication. Amidst adversity, one thing thrives, one thing escapes... it's the release of physical pleasure. Starring blonde sensation Cassie Courtland, AVN nominated Riley Mason, Charlotte Stokely and beautiful Justine Joli in roles that transcend... Nowhere Angels takes you to a new plane of eroticism. Are you ready to meet your angel? "Nowhere Angels is by far my favorite movie I have ever shot." raves director DCypher. "It's a true example of lit porn, combining elements from writers like Brett Easton Ellis, Thomas Pynchon, William Golding, Hunter S. Thompson, and Jack Kerouac. It's postmodern punk rock porn blended with an angelic sadness that will break your heart." "It's also worth noting that the entire soundtrack is from DIAL 7, a band once signed to Warner Brothers. Barrett, our editor and one of the lead actors, was in DIAL 7, so he owned the rights to use the music." Adds Metro's Sales VP Christian Mann: "DCypher's movies have come to symbolize what our Cal Vista imprint is all about: big budgets, big stories and last but not least, big sales. The market is flooded with releases, so it's a pleasure to distribute "event movies" that stand out, have a long shelf life and cement our role as a player in the big movie game. DCypher's previous efforts like "Wonderland" and "Taboo 22″ continue to sell months after their initial release. Quality always prevails." Nowhere Angels is being supported by a campaign that includes an AVN insert poster in last month's Adult Video News and a trailer currently running on the home page of AVN.com. The packaging highlights the punk-chic bad girl theme... where the Nowhere Angels go, trouble follows." To be fair, the sex was like most of the alt-porn releases on the market these days, formulaic and lacking in energy as it deglamorizes the usual attempts at passion in most cases so if you're looking for your father's brand of smut, look elsewhere. If, on the other hand, you want something decidedly different, you might enjoy the non-sex parts more than most, albeit with some messages about life that may not appeal to you. Here's a quick look at the short scenes, noting that only one condom was used and that the cast was poorly identified:

Scene One: Riley Mason, the alt-brunette wearing the red & white polka dot top on the left side of the front cover, was up in the first full scene after a very short solo bit by Justine on the bed. Riley inhaled the cock of Barrett Blade; practically letting her barbell nose piercing hit his abdomen as she took him in so deeply. The contrast between his tan and her milky white skin was pronounced; made additionally weird by the disco ball lighting in the small blue living room they engaged each other in. He ate her out too but only enough to get her wet for the ride where she impaled her pussy on his cock fairly heatedly. They tried a few positions on the ottoman before he launched his population pudding into her mouth, her then reddened ass cheeks glowing from where he spanked her. It was a pretty good opening scene although not as erotic as a longer solo act by the lovely redhead would have been.

Scene Two: Leah Luv, a skinny gal with a mullet wearing a black thong and arm warmers, was up next on a couch with Barry Scott. She looked less turned on than simply wanting to alleviate the boredom of her life, sucking him off in a Christmas decorated room (he even wore a Santa hat). She used her mouth and hand to get him as hard as possible, the guy feeling her up with a concentration on her ass. He ate her and they screwed, Barry doing almost all of the work until she was suitably warmed up. They did a few positions and like the last scene, he rubbed out the load to her face.

Scene Three: Veronica Jett, looking kind of spent in her fishnet top and overly made up face, was up next with a philosophic Eric Masterson by the outdoor pool at a punker party during the day. They sat back on the lawn chair as she blew him, no one else paying the slightest bit of attention as she worked him to the bone. As in the other scenes, he reciprocated on her, licking the fleshy folds of her pussy mechanically to prepare her for some penetrative action. He wore the sole condom of the flick as she rode him with a slight bit of energy, building up as time went on but never truly showing anything like the sparks she provides when into a scene. The scene continued the formula with a mouth pop after several positions, probably making a louder statement than the dialogue.

Scene Four: Cassie Courtland, the hotty featured on the center of the front cover in the red bra, alt-porn goddess Charlotte Stokely, and a couple of punker guys (Johnny Cobalt and Dominic?), were up next in the "end of the end of the world party" on a bed that started with the ladies having some lesbian fun together. That led to the quartet pairing off for the ladies to suffer through the third tier mopers; working their cocks efficiently with blowjobs before the usual vaginal riding took place. I liked how Charlotte's fleshy ass cheeks rippled when she was getting tapped and Cassie seemed to want to provide a more active ride, her mohawked partner having wood issues more than a little bit. The camera angles used did not allow a clear view of the holes being penetrated at all times (though it looked like Cassie was doing anal) but as yet another scene that tried to show something outside of porn style sex, it did not give the appearance of any chemistry or heat, resulting in mouth/titty pops to close out before the next monologue by Justine was provided (there was one between each scene, something others giving one too).

Scene Five: Justine Joli, the redhead on the right side of the cover in the background and star of the movie, was up last in a lesbian scene with Riley Mason in a darkened room. Okay, while none of the other scenes appeared to have any consistent heat between the players, these two sure shined like a bright light by comparison. The actual sex was primarily feeling and licking, touching and otherwise sensually exploring one another; providing a marked difference from the style of the other scenes that seemed so aloof to the potential passion underlying the pairings. It was a solid way to end the movie sexually, the thematic ending a bit too depressing for me considering this was a stroke flick.

Summary: Nowhere Angels by director DCypher for Metro Interactive was a mixed trip for me. I enjoyed some of the messages in the dialogue portion of the movie a lot more than the sex, perhaps that was the point, but it seemed to preach a bit too heavily for my liking on balance. The sheer number of quotes bounced around made it seem like it was being tailored to impress the wannabe literate types out there and I'll be the first to admit that had the sex been more passionate, the flick would have worked better for my tastes (though in doing so, would have betrayed the themes a bit too much by the looks of it). Therefore, I'm rating Nowhere Angels as a Rent It with the opinion that some of you will adore it and most will hate it but I doubt anyone will be left without a strong opinion of it either way.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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