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For Love, Money Or A Green Card

Studio: Wicked Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 3/25/07

XCritic's Advice: Watch It Online

For Love, Money Or A Green Card

Wicked Pictures

Genre: Feature

Director: Stormy Daniels

Cast: Roxy Jezel, Mr. Pete, Kinzie Kenner, Avy Scott, Katie Morgan, Nick Manning, Gia Paloma, Tommy Gunn, Randy Spears
Non-sex roles by Nina Hartley and Carmen Hart

Length: 115 minutes

Date of Production: 8/8/2006

Extra's: For most people, the bonus scene from Gossip between Roxy Jezel and third tier mope Van Damage will be the best extra. She did a fine job and I described it below for those who care (technically, I prefer extras shot specifically for the movie in hand, not replays though). I really liked the 11.5 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Bill Foxx more since it gave some inside peeks into the production of the movie, more nudity, and showed some of the fun that took place off camera. There was a 6 minute Blooper Reel that was cute too, the cast flubbing their lines left and right to offer some laughs, though surprising because it was presented in a letter boxed format while the BTS was in the same anamorphic widescreen the movie was in. There were also the usual photogalleries and Star Stats, the 2006 Promotional Reel, spam, DVD Catalog of Wicked Pictures titles, the usual DVD ROM material, and trailers to movies like The Visitors, Gossip, Eternity, Camp Cuddly Pines, Hook Ups, Curse Eternal, Fuck, and Manhunters. There was also a cardboard protective sleeve on the DVD case and a double sided cover for those who care.

Condoms: Yes

-- sponsored by --

Audio/Video Quality: For Love, Money Or A Green Card was presented in the anamorphic widescreen color with an aspect ratio of 1.78:1 as shot by director Stormy Daniels for Wicked Pictures in HD. There was some grain and video noise thanks to the lighting (most of the scenes were in darker than average rooms for a porno) but it was a decent looking feature for the smaller budget I believe it had (and there were no compression artifacts observed).The composition of the camera angles tended to enhance the ladies and that was a positive aspect of Stormy's growth as a director. The editing was a step or two up from what she has worked on before too, I later found out that director Jonathan Morgan was responsible for that aspect of the flick (good call to use him). The audio was presented in a 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround English with a 2.0 DD German, Greek, French, Italian, or Spanish track as alternatives (though only the English & Spanish tracks listed on the front cover). These tracks were solely used during the talking parts as the sex scenes remained in English. Like most mid level Wicked Pictures movies, the audio enhancement seemed added in to a monaural vocal track with generic music; sporting little separation or dynamic range, but it still sounded better than many other smaller companies' works.

Body of Review: Roxy Jezel has long been recognized as a gonzo gal with the kind of beauty that would make her the perfect catch for a features production company looking to instill some heat. As such, a number of companies tried her out in leading or high profile secondary roles over the last year or so, the results varying quite a bit, with her ending up working for Club Jenna. One of her attempts at a feature was handled by the lovely hotty Stormy Daniels for Wicked Pictures with For Love, Money Or A Green Card; a light romantic comedy about a gal in need of a husband to avoid being deported. Her role was large and while not exactly demonstrative of either her sexual or acting skills, fans will want to see it nonetheless (and Randy was great). The back cover said it like this: "After coming to the conclusion that she must get married or risk deportation, British fashion designer Vivian (Roxy Jezel), enlists her two friends (Avy Scott & Katie Morgan) to help her stay in the country. After a series of disastrous internet dating mishaps, Thomas (Randy Spears) agrees to marry Vivian for the right price. But this is a marriage made in hell. Can they find true love? Or will the pesky INS agent (Nina Hartley) uncover the truth? Award winning writer/director Stormy Daniels takes you on a sexy and hilarious adventure about just how far people will go for Love, Money or a Greencard." While less a tribute to the various mainstream movies like Andie MacDowell and Gerard Depardieu's Green Card than a slight bit that seemed to have a plot written on the back of a matchbook, it was cute and as a smaller budget flick from the mighty Wicked Pictures, it was certainly worth a look. Here's a brief look at the scenes, noting that condoms were used, if you're still interested:

Scene One: Roxy Jezel, the cutie on the front cover, was up first as the featured performer of the movie, hanging out with Mr. Pete on the couch while he watched a sporting event. She snuggled up closely to him as he paid her no attention, more into the basketball game than life itself. Not one to let a guy shrug her off, she got more aggressive with him and ended his sport fetish with some frisky playfulness that he couldn't ignore. He spent some time warming her up, sucking on her titties before she gave him a really short hummer. He banged her after that but rather than savoring the moment, they acted like they were late for dinner throughout the scene, her vocals being over the top while her usual sexual style was truncated into a passive screw (for the most part). She ended it with some decent oral and he rubbed out a small load of population pudding to her mouth. In all, it was a boring scene even for a couples bit, though she did look nice.

Scene Two: Kinzie Kenner and Avy Scott, both attractive gals with a lot of spark in their scenes, were up next in a lesbian frolic on a couch that spent most of the time with oral but also had a lengthy anal component to it. The toys used were small but the sweaty pair glistened as they got each other off, the vocals adding to the fun in what amounted to a pretty solid gal pal bit. Both took to the anal well, and I just wish it lasted longer.

Scene Three: Katie Morgan, a sexy little hotty with blonde hair and enhanced curves, was up next on the couch with Nick Manning (after a hilarious non sex role by Carmen Hart as a pregnant trailer trash chick). He went down on her and she acted like it was the best she had been handled in days, if not hours, the guy working the folds of her pussy aggressively. They then banged in a few positions and I was impressed that he held off on the usual obnoxious commentary for such a long time (never getting as bad as his reputation provides for). While the vaginal penetration was solid, he did most of the work and I felt like she was holding back most of the time, Nick finishing it up by rubbing out his load onto her ass cheek.

Scene Four: Gia Paloma, playing a trampy little office worker to the hilt, was up next with stud of the year Tommy Gunn at the office (after a great non sex scene by Randy as the anal retentive male lead). They did some really hot oral that showed a lot of chemistry, her seductive nature elevating the scene substantially from the previous pairings involving men, before a short titty fuck and vaginal penetration. The scene then went into an active anal ride where he pounded her mercilessly to her delight, using the desk as leverage before he rubbed out a load to her face. It was far too short but it was one of the best scenes of recent times in a Wicked Pictures flick, adding in some passion to give it replay value.

Scene Five: Roxy Jezel, having shown the world her terrible driving skills (well, it was all done off screen), was up next with muscular Tommy Gunn in a darkened living room. Thankfully, she was much more into the action this time, slobbing his knob with enthusiasm and energy, making his cock her own in the process. I was a bit put off that this was just a blowjob scene but given the relative merits of this one versus the previous scene, I was happy that some of her skills were highlighted better this time.

Scene Six: Roxy Jezel, wearing a lengthy men's shirt over her lingerie, made up with aging lothario Randy Spears in bed after he gave her the worst present in the world (IMHO of course). She acted like most women getting a big ticket item, playfully giving it up as both of them did some slow oral on each other. He was allowed to go down on her longer, the two boning fairly well as a result (though again truncated in terms of length, variation, and her ability to ride. It ended with him jerking out a good load and the credits rolling after a last joke.

Bonus Scene: Gossip: Roxy Jezel, wearing an oversized shirt and black slacks, got a little bit of a revenge fuck herself with Van Damage in bed after she thought her boyfriend was cheating on her. This was another scene where the two performers acted like they were into one another (note to Kris from scene two; Van isn't the best lay in the world but at least he played the role well enough to instill some sense of believability). She impaled her throat with his cock and they did a 69 before banging each other in a heated manner. They met each other pump for pump and I thought Stormy must've really let them loose on each other given the results. Roxy did anal and took the pop shot well too, ending the scene by confronting her boyfriend in the apartment next door.

Summary: For Love, Money Or A Green Card by director Stormy Daniels for Wicked Pictures was definitely a Rent It for me. While it might work in a pinch as a couples flick to show to someone very new to porn, the story glossed over so many great opportunities for laughs (like barely touching upon the Nina Hartley character's secondary thread) that even Randy's comic timing and skills were not enough to give it replay value (the sex was similar in how it rarely even touched on the skill level some of these performers have shown all over the place). Stormy's skills as a director continue to grow but I never got the impression that this one was anything more than a contractual obligation for her so it's not fair to expect the cast to act any differently. In short, For Love, Money Or A Green Card was one I'd deport after watching a time or two but check it out for yourself to see if it works better for you.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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