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Kim Kardashian, Superstar

Studio: Vivid » Review by Michael Vega » Review Date: 4/7/07

XCritic's Advice: Skip It

GENRE: "Celebrity" Sex tape
DIRECTOR: To call Ray J a "director" would be a severe disservice to anyone who's ever picked up a camera. Well, except maybe Uwe Boll.
LENGTH: 41m 4s
CAST: Kim Kardashian & Ray J

the Audio & Video

Video was shot in a full-frame 1.33:1 ratio and the picture was pretty terrible. In addition, the
lighting was just as bad, which caused a ton of grain. Shot on video.
| Audio was annoying looped and dubbed and presented in Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo


the Special Features

There's not a damn thing on disc one, other than the short itself. However, disc two of this two-disc set features five bonus scenes - "After Midnight" featuring Monique Alexander & Tommy Gunn, "the Houseguest" featuring Stefani Morgan & Tommy Gunn, "Intimate Strangers" featuring Lanny Barby & Van Damage, "Switch" featuring Savanna Samson & Ben English and "Time For Briana" featuring Briana Banks & Evan Stone | Trailers for "Debbie Does Dallas", "Debbie Does Dallas", "Burnt Fury", "Sex & Violins", "Cherry Bomb", "Where the Boys Aren't 18", "Sex Addict", "Love Addiction", "Flasher", "the Female Gardener", "Cassidey's Day Off", "Blue Light Project", "the American Dream", "Vivid Alt Trailers", "It's Not You", "Chemistry Vol 2", "After Party", "Kayden's First Time", "Lacie's Life" and "Savanna's Been Blackmaled"

the Fucking

-- sponsored by --

For those who choose not to "Play Feature", our friends at Vivid have divided Kim Kardashian, Superstar into the following chapters:

  • Boobs [:28] - A 28 second look at Kim's boobs, which she confirms early on in the flick as being real.

  • Butts [:28] - Take a guess. Yup, 28 seconds of Kim's lovely ass on display.

  • Bangin' [17:27] - Well, there's not much to say about this. Actually, there is, but none of it would be positive. Instead, read below.

  • BJs [2:40] - Kim's dicksucking skills are better than her BFF Paris', but not as good as Karrine Steffans'.

  • Pussy Eating [2:03] - I suppose Ray might have some skills, but the majority of the time, they're obscured by the sheets on the bed.


Now, if you've opted to play the feature, here's what you'll see (well, the relevant parts, anyway):

  • 2:03-4:05 - Kim spends a quick two minutes poking Ray's dick in her mouth. And she looked good going it.

  • 5:20-7:40 - Ray dives between her thighs to lick some clit. Well, I think he's licking her clit since, if it wasn't for Kim adjusting her thighs every so often, it'd look like Ray was burying his face in the sheets on the bed. At least we get a fairly good shot of her cooch.

  • 11:06-15:25 - We finally see some fucking...or maybe not. The lighting in the hotel room is so poor, that it made me wish Ray had borrowed Rick Solomon's videocamera - at least we know that one has a night vision feature. Also, it seems like some of the footage is looped. I know the audio definitely is.

  • 16:43-19-35 - The fucking continues, this time Kim is face down and her ass is up. Personally, this is one of my favorite positions, but the way Ray "shoots" it really doesn't allow for any shots of penetration whatsoever. More possible looping.

  • 19:35-20:22 - Inexplicably, the action switches to Kim sucking some dick again.

  • 20:22-21:37 - After that 47 snippet of Kim sucking Ray's dick, we once again go back to the face down, ass up position. More looping? My deja vu is getting stronger.

  • 23:45-31:16 - There's a 2 minute break in the action, before we see them fucking in the same position as above. However, this time it's from a front/side profile. In addition to some of the worst dubbing i've ever heard in my entire life, along with Ray's annoying constant mugging for the camera, we're subjected to a constant extreme close-up shot of Kim's ass as Ray is sliding his dick inside of her.

  • 32:07-36:51 - More footage of Ray licking her pussy, before going back to the previous footage of Ray fucking her from behind, along with the same close-up footage of Kim's ass as Ray is sliding in her. At this point, i'm hoping this disc ends.

  • 37:50-28:31 - More repeat footage. At this point, i'm hoping this disc ends. Wait, am I repeating myself now too?

  • 38:32-39:53 - After some missionary action, Ray pops a shot in Kim's mouth - a shot that Kim swallows. It's good to know she doesn't let a drop go to waste.


[ Kim Kardashian & Ray J | Oral (M/F), Vaginal | Doggystyle, Missionary | Condoms: No | - and that's for Kim ]

the Final Word

Let's get this out of the way -

Kim Kardashian is hot. She has the dark, exotic features that I appreciate in females that give me wood. Not to mention, she has a shapely rump that jiggles when Ray smacks it and a pair of knockers that she states are real even before the action begins. However...

As "hot" as Kim is, there's no way in hell this disc is worth $40 for what amounts to close to 28 minutes of sex - and that's counting all the looping that runs rampant through the "feature". This being a "tape they tried to hide", the low production quality is to be expected. Yet that, coupled with the small amount of actual action that Vivid has to work with, nowhere near justifies the price tag that the lovely folks at Vivid have slapped this disc with. "But, it's a double disc", you might say. Well, you're right. However, the second disc is merely five bonus scenes along with a shitload of trailers that, when compared with VCA including a bonus DVD that has FOUR HOURS of content with some of their flicks, is about as anorexic as Kim's BFF's BFF.

Much like a 24 car pile-up, this one will definitely attract some curiosity and get some people to buy it. However, if you can't rent it for a buck or two, I urge you to skip it and spend your money on one of Vivid's more deserving flicks. In fact, early in the flick Ray J boasts into the camera, "When you're jacking off to this, go hard". Well, thanks to the lack of fuck material, as well as the shitty production, direction and editing, my recommendation to Skip It is probably the easiest rating i've ever given.

"Look at all those fools paying $40 for this."

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