As witnessed by my home videos from the bushes of various parks, almost anyone can be a porn star, and anyone can make a porn movie. However, to squirt with enough proficiency to splash a room, shoot into a camera, or bean someone in the eye? That takes a rare talent, my friend. It's a talent that further marks women as money makers in the porn industry over men. My latest curiosity involving women and their ability to squirt led me to this William H. film, and suffice it to say, I was entertained if a bit disappointed. In the end, these are the girls you want to rain on your parade. Are any of these gorgeous women competition for champion squirter Sindee Jennings?
First Squirt: Sindee
You just have to love Sindee Jennings, who isn't only hot, but really makes this movie worth watching. The screams she gives while squirting is not only hot, but utterly hilarious, but we unfortunately have to wade through a brutally obnoxious preamble involving the camera man, and Sindee who tries on some glasses at the request of the camera man, for some odd reason, and gives some expressions and comments that will put the limp in any man watching; and there's also her Elmer Fudd laugh. This is where your fast forward finger comes in, once you take your hand off your piece. As for Sindee's ability to perform, she doesn't let down. She hopes on the cock like a true pro, and looks damn good doing so. She's a beautiful blond woman who wastes no time squirting up a storm before actual penetration, but the segment takes a decline with Sindee's over the top emoting and groaning which really serves as more of a turn off than bating bait. Though Sindee is a capital cummer, her segment could have used Sindee as less cartoonish.
Second Squirt: Britney
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Britney is a gorgeous girl who comes off much more withdrawn in her segment. Even though we have to sit through the brutally annoying interview, Britney is dressed up in a frilly black uniform, and has some great breasts. Britney's segment is much more entertaining, as she looks great getting fucked, and has a beautiful body; she even sounds hot talking to her mate, and cursing at him, but sadly, she's not much of a squirter in the end. Though, she can sprits much to her mate's delight, in one scene, she really never shows us that she can be a contender for a top notch squirter, in the end. Britney's segment is a step up from Sindee's, but she can't match the fire power Sindee brings to the table.
Third Squirt: Nikki
Nikki is a beautiful women, and it helps that she's dressed like a crime fighting dominatrix. Donned in a black and red leather corset, fish next gloves and long black boots, she demonstrates her shooters before getting fucked roughly on a small red couch, with her large rump being pounded to kingdom come quite often. She's bent over and fucked before she does any actual squirting, which works against Nikki's segment, sadly. She only squirts about two or three times, and most of the time she's struggling to find a way to get off, contorting in any way possible, and never paying off as much as she looks like she can. Even though you have to love Nikki and her hot costume, along with her strong gushes, her segment is flat.
Fourth Squirt: Amber
Amber is less a siren and more of a cutie pie, and she begins her segment dressed like the last person you'd suspect as a porn actress. In a flowery long dress, she's a gorgeous girl with a little meat on her bones, and assures a beast underneath her shy smile. Once she gets into the fucking, she looks great, and with a killer body, she's a turn on without a doubt. Not only does that dress add to her sexiness, but she sounds great during orgasm with grunts and screams that makes her segment stand out from the rest. Propped up on a chair, bent over for her big ass to take a pounding, Amber has it all, even if she barely cums at all. Anti-climactic indeed.
Final Squirt: Keeani
Keeani is dressed in a hot pink fishnet tube top, and is just absolutely beautiful. But her claims that her orgasms are like pouring fountains ultimately lead us into pure disappointment as her fountains are more like drips that never pour out like she explains. Even though Keeani is gorgeous and entertaining to watch as she bites onto her tube top, screams during the pounding and is anxious to spray, she's never as talented as she boasts to the interviewer, and that's a shame.
Presented in full screen, the video is probably the best technical aspect, as it's often very sharp and stark, with bold colors and a perfect transfer.
And again with the sub par sound quality. The sound here was pretty terrible, considering I had to turn the volume on my television all the way up to hear what the actresses were saying and then turn it back down again when they went off about cabbage. The commotion is often poorly recorded with none of the smacking or slapping too audible, in spite of the groans and screams being well enough to hear.
The extras are also pretty lacking in flavor, with a bonus scene from part one of the series featured on the DVD that leads to one of the stars performing a strip tease for the camera that comes off especially hot, and probably the only good extra in the batch; because without a doubt, it's much hotter than the actual segments in the film. Beyond that, there's the redundant photo gallery that reiterates much of the action from the movie, there are trailers to six other Elegant Angel titles, an ad for the Elegant Angel website, and ads to sex hot lines with some rather steamy commercials attached to it. That was a neat surprise.
Though the missing ingredient was three judges resembling the ones from "American Idol," which would have completed the robust reality show satire, "So You Think You Can Squirt? Vol. 2" is worth a rent, if only to laugh at the hilarious screams of our actresses while hosing us down. If you can endure the obnoxious interviewer who goes off about sun glasses and favorite types of eggs ("Do you like clothes?" Are you serious?!), "So You Think You Can Squirt?" doesn't exactly make good on its promises, but at least the women are fun to watch quite often.