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College Wild Parties #9

Studio: Pink Visual Productions » Review by Jason C. Scott » Review Date: 7/15/07

XCritic's Advice: Skip It


I've always been amused by the "real college" genre of porn, which - for those unfamiliar - takes cameras into REAL dorms and REAL college parties to capture the drunken orgy that is apparently college life at many schools around the nation. How about we call it what it really is: porn with drinking and lower production values.

"College Wild Parties" has certainly gained an audience: if it didn't, I wouldn't have the ninth edition sitting in front of me. The feature starts off with a guy behind the camera (which shakes like hell; apparently, this is to give the audience that drunken effect) interviewing a bunch of drunken frat boys. Many "Whasssups" are exchanged, even when the sentence doesn't call for one. Random blonde named Montana with small boobs and long legs catches the camera's attention and she goes up to her boyfriend, who was hanging out with a random extra...I mean, another girl, and she pushes him in the pool. Furious that he was hanging out with an extra - er, other girl - she pushes him in the pool and then...chooses a "random guy" from the crowd to have sex with in front of everyone. After some oral, he starts having sex (doggy, cowgirl) with her in front of the entire wasted, annoying party. At first, everyone's all hooting and hollering, then the camera catches people having conversations in the background while the couple humps on the lawnchair nearby. Thankfully the camerawork is somewhat better during the sex, because it's annoying as hell during the opening.

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Next up are Tiffany and Cody, two girls who just start humping on one another despite conflicting statements about whether they've ever met. One - not sure which is which - is irritating as hell and won't shut up, the other has a giant chest and initially as a look like, "Uh, what's going on?" when the other girl starts dry humping her. These two decide to put on a show in front of the whole crowd at someone's house party, going down on each other. After some 69 action between the two ladies, random dude steps in to join them, getting oral and then having the large-breasted one (not sure which is which, but she just looks more like a Tiffany, so we'll go with that) jump on top for some cowgirl action. They switch places, while Cody (I guess?) gets it in missionary and eats Tiffany. They switch places again and again, getting it in different positions and never staying too far out of reach of one another. He finally cums and both girls share it, ending the scene with a kiss. The scene looks too dark to tell what's going on a few times and on a couple of occasions the light goes out completely. Makes the HD ("Hazy Definition?) symbol on the front of the box more amusing. The girls aren't bad looking, which saves the scene - kind of.

Next is Nikki, a tall blonde with short hair and medium-sized breasts (as well as a blissed-out look that suggests she's a little wasted), who takes on a pair of guys at a keg party. She just kind of lays there as the two guys take turns in a number of different positions. Funniest moment: she says, totally serious, "f*** that turkey!" as one of the guys is on top of her. Kind of a repetitive scene - gets dull after a while. Holly and Megan are up next, and they start the show by providing a pole dance that could best be described as looking unplanned. After some 69 action, the girls go up to a guy and start sharing oral duties. One then jumps on top in cowgirl while he eats the other one. This continues on while the crowd yells, then for a while the camera wanders off into the party, chats with a blonde that's better looking than either of the two stars, then tries to get back to the action only to seem to be blocked by the crowd. Eventually, we get back and the action continues...and like the previous scene, it's gotten repetitive and kinda boring.

Finally, we get Vanessa, a skinny, blah and rather worn-looking blonde. After the intro, she gives some serious deep throating to her co-star before he starts pounding her in doggy and missionary. The room couldn't look more like a set, and the actress was the least of the girls featured in the program. The constant cutaways to the people starring at the action also gets tired. The action in this program in general isn't great, but the constant filming of the drunken crowds in-between the action really takes away from the action completely. Overall, this program's amusing for a little bit, but the poor quality and near-constant distractions really make this just not worth the time.


VIDEO: The production values are zip, but the 1.33:1 full-frame picture presented it all about as best as possible, given the material.

SOUND: Clear stereo soundtrack, but dominated by the yelling going on.

EXTRAS: Tons of trailers, a short behind-the-scenes for a different film, striptease scene and weblink.

Final Thoughts: "College Wild Parties 9" is amusing for a little while early on, but the sex is repetitive and the constant distractions from the crowds take away from the few good moments there are. Skip it.

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