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Studio: Score » Review by Disco Dirge » Review Date: 8/2/07

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Genre: Straight Feature
Director: Unknown
Cast:: Maya Hills, Kayla Stream, Jersey Jaxin, Somaya Lynn, Scarlett Jolie
Length: 145 mins
Production Date: 2006

In a Nutshell - A Tad Oversaturated and Light
As if to emphasize the supposed "wholesomeness" of the performers, Flexi Fucks is filmed in a manner that accentuates the primary colors and overall brightness of the scenes. It can be rather aggravating on the eyes. Still, the 1.33:1 full screen image is acceptable, providing controlled skintones and detailed backdrops.

In a Nutshell - Lots of Backstage/Q&A Treats
The Score Group sets up Flexi Fucks to be a magazine-like experience. Aside from the typical bonus features - trailers, website info, galleries, cumshot recaps - we get a chance to go behind the scenes and talk to Somaya, Kayla, and Jersey. They discuss the business, their inherent 'flexibility", and other superficial matters. Still, it does give us an opportunity to get to know these gals, something most non-mainstream porn DVDs tend to avoid.

First Impressions:
While fans would be loathe to admit it, there's a fine line between modern pornography and pedophilia. Before you misconstrue this statement, the connection between hardcore and the horrendous acts of a child molester exist in one minor subsection of the overall XXX dynamic - the barely legal genre. You see, there are some men - mostly well past middle age - who enjoy the sight of a slightly immature gal getting gonzo. It fuels a fantasy about innocence defiled and arousing acquiescence. In order to avoid long prison sentences however, the adult industry are wise enough not to violate consent laws, and only choose talent who trick the eye into thinking it's seeing teenage youth in full deflowered mode. Thus is the case with Flexi Fucks. Forget the agility angle - most of these gals can arch their back and contort their torsos, that's about it. But the real, slightly sickening, selling point is how incredibly young these actresses look. While all claim majority status in pre-pork interviews, they are dressed up and directed to act like puberty was mere months, not years, ago.

The Sex Scenes:

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There are two clear fuck and suck facets at play here, neither one very entertaining or engaging. Because our stars are supposedly limber and lithe, they are bent and twisted by the men meat puppeteering them. Sometimes, the result is an interesting position. Other times, we fear for the actress's physical safety. We have often heard stories about performers tearing muscles and straining ligaments during the standard position parade. Now add bizarre back flips and spider walk balling and the medical issues are amplified. Granted, all five ladies survive, but not without some non-hump heavy breathing. Our nameless director is also from the point-and-shoot strategy of smut peddling. The camera does canvas our couplings, but more times than not, its static and stationary.

Scene 1: Maya Hills
Acts Performed: Cabaret and Interview, Gymnastics Action, Cunnilingus, Face Sitting, Blowjob, Twisted 69, Mish, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, Spoon, $hot on Stomach
Score: 2.5 out of 5
With a persona that's a mere oversized lolly away from being criminal, Ms. Hills really wants us to think that she's a tool taking tween. Her coy come-ons, her unbelievably bald pussy, and those girly girl thigh high stockings just scream middle school slumber party. It's quite disturbing, and definitely distracts from the rather obvious passion between the partners. Maya really gets off on the moves her unnamed paramour is presenting, and the two actually build up a good sexual rapport. Too bad the school kid vibe had to undermine the action.

Scene 2: Kayla Stream, Nick Manning
Acts Performed: Cabaret and Interview, Gymnastics Action, Vibrator Action, V to M, Blowjob, Acrobatic Blowjob, Mish, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, $hot on Tits
Score: 2.5 out of 5
Here is a clear example of how this underage dynamic fails to fully flesh out. Nick Manning is a professional pussy pounder, a guy who has been around the block and back again at least a couple dozen times. Put him in a room with anyone and they suddenly shift from Pro-Am newbie to seasoned vet in a millisecond. That's exactly what happens here. One moment, Kayla is mewing for the camera. The next, Nick has her bent over and balling. No bullshit. No baby talking. As hardcore, it's a pretty decent scene. As teen queen fantasy fodder, it really falters

Scene 3: Jersey Jaxin
Acts Performed: Cabaret and Interview, Gymnastics Action, Vibrator Action, Blowjob, Mish, Reverse Pile Driver, Standing Reverse Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, $hot on Torso
Score: 1 out of 5
Talk about repugnant - this tattooed trash heap is fresh from the trailer park and eager to show off her half-assed body art. Add to that a vacant stare that signals literally nothing is going on upstairs in this gal's noggin, and you've got a recipe for ribald repulsion. The biggest male movie star in the world could be shagging this skank and the scene would still earn a bottom rung rating. The only reason a score is being offered is because actual sex takes place on camera, thereby fulfilling the mandates of a XXX title. Otherwise...yeesh!

Scene 4: Somaya Lynn
Acts Performed: Cabaret and Interview, Gymnastics Action, Vibrator Action, Blowjob, Mish, Pile Driver, Spoon, Doggy, Reverse Cowgirl, $hot on Torso
Score: 2.5 out of 5
As the only woman of color in this set, Ms. Lynn definitely stands out. Her body type also provides a more runway model style sexuality versus some tenuous 10th grader take on arousal. She really gets into the pole to poon pumping, and runs through her positions routine with apparent professionalism. On the downside - for those looking to see underage African American chicks choking on cock, you've come to the wrong place. Somaya is selling sophistication, not school yard aardvarking.

Scene 5: Scarlett Jolie
Acts Performed: Cabaret and Interview, Gymnastics Action, Blowjob, Deep Throating, Reverse Cowgirl, Cowgirl, Mish, $hot on Cunt
Score: 1 out of 5
We're back to Bo Peep with this last installment of man on Miss action. Scarlett steals a few moves from Scene 1's Maya - pony girl hair, Bay City Rollers knee socks, calculated Cupie Doll pout - but where she stumbles is in the porn department. There is too much pre-performance banter, and when she does get down to dicking, its three positions and then cut to the cum. Talk about the big ol' bait and switch. This is Cockteasing 101, something that should be reserved for less upfront product. Even in the quasi-queasy world of Flexi Fucks, this kind of carnal short shrift is unacceptable.

Disco Dirge Peter Meter Rating: 2 out of 5 (Rent It)
Cohabitation Certification: Granted
The Dirge is going to be honest with you - many of the gals here more or less creeped him out. They reminded him of the industry's past, where girls of all ages would be purposefully compromised by men in bed with mobsters and other criminal elements. You can dress them up like dolls and sell the supposed innocence all you want, but there is still something disconcerting about this blatant barely legal title. Therefore, no matter the effectiveness of the hardcore, an award of Rent It is all that can be offered. It will be up to the individual fan to figure out what they feel about this kind of manufactured manipulation. You'll either love it, loathe it, or find yourself lost in a limited libido limbo, unsure of how to react when the film says fucking, but the mind feels felony. True, there is nothing illegal going on here. But Flexi Fucks sure wants to infer that something really wrong could be. How does one realistically react to that?

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