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Lord of Asses 8

Studio: Tom Byron Pictures » Review by Don Houston » Review Date: 8/6/07

XCritic's Advice: Watch On Demand

Lord of Asses 8

Tom Byron Pictures/Pleasure

Genre: Gonzo

Director: Tom Byron

Cast: Veronica Jett, Naudia Nyce, Tom Byron, Trina Michaels, Rita Faltoyano, Jamie Elle, Amber Rayne

Length: 134:41 minutes

Date of Production: 3/1/2007

Extra's: The first extra worth mentioning was the 3:44 minutes of bonus/boner footage starring sexy Rita Faltoyano teasing the camera of the former "Mr. Tiffany Mynx". This was far too short a time to fully appreciate her lovely body but served more as an appetizer for her full scene in the movie. That was followed by a 4:42 minute long Behind the Scenes feature by Tim Von Swine (a noteworthy director in his own right). Sadly, this was just a brief interview and chat with lovely Jamie Elle instead of all the ladies, another teaser of sorts to whet ones appetite. The cumshot recap and ability to turn on a feature allowing you to go straight to the pop shot was okay, as was the photogallery and slipcover to the DVD with some trailers to round the package out.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: Lord of Asses 8 was presented in the usual 1.33:1 ratio full frame color as shot by director Tom Byron for Tom Byron Pictures. Much of the camera work was done by the talented Tim Von Swine with the bedroom ending up as the generic location where the sex took place. The video maintained a bitrate of mid 5 Mbps most of the time, reducing the obvious compression artifacts to a limited few and each scene looked slightly different depending on which cameraman took charge while Tom was busy in front of the camera. The composition of the scenes also varied, with Trina's scene looking the best to me but in all cases the women were made to look their best while engaging Tom in their scenes. The editing was choppy at times, usually when a transitional point was missed by the cameraman or a visual flaw must've required a less skilled look but the flaws were minor compared to some of the mopes out there wielding cameras as though doing so for the first time and I admit that Tom's crews did okay here. The audio was presented in a 2.0 Dolby Digital English offering at 192 Kbps. There was no noticeable separation between the tracks and the dynamic range was limited but I could hear the ladies and the music was not a factor once the scenes started in earnest.

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Body of Review: Tom Byron has been in porn for decades now, having left Houston TX for the glamour of Chatsworth a long time ago. Originally a scrawny pup of a boy, he has filled out over time (like most of us have) and gotten his shit together by forming an all new production company called Tom Byron Pictures. I'm mainly knowledgeable of his work in the 1980's, some of the Seymore Butts titles he made last year, and a handful of features since his exploits at Extreme Associates and Evolution Erotica never really appealed to me much. Now that he is distributed by Pleasure, I expect his stock will rise substantially with the first title making it to me being Lord of Asses 8, an all anal gonzo flick that eschews plot, acting, and the frilly extras of modern porn in favor of simply getting right down to business. The action varied considerably this time, some gals on fire and others showing their weaker side, but in all there was enough to suggest checking out if you like anal and salad tossing (rimming of the males). That said, here is a quick look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used:

Scene One: Veronica Jett and Naudia Nyce, were up first wearing the kind of slutware they seem most comfortable in while engaging in some nasty lesbian antics on the black leather couch. Veronica had on a lot more makeup than usual and Naudia seemed more like Belladonna than ever; albeit a cute version of the award winning hotty so many of you adore. Their clothing did not last long as they started slobbing the knob of Tom Byron; sharing his wand as they took turns blowing him in their respective areas of expertise. Naudia tossed his salad first, fingering herself as he panted in pleasure, but Veronica left her mark upon his rosebud too as she gave him some oral action back there as well. For his part, he gave as well as he received, licking their pussies and asses before screwing the ladies, concentrating on one at a time while the other assisted in the endeavor. Both gals seemed enthusiastic about rimming him as he did about porking their fannies, the gals largely passive as he drilled them repeatedly in a predominantly doggy position. Naudia made sure she fingered his pucker too but the basic scene relied mostly on oral, anal and various circus act sex tricks related to those factors. The scene itself ended when he busted a nut of population pudding in the general direction of their faces; missing as much as hitting them as his salty spew flew indiscriminatingly about the couch.

Scene Two: Trina Michaels, a curvy blond that was one of the highlights of the 2007 AEE Show, was up next as she teased the camera in her tight blue jeans and white top, the slow motion indicative of so many director styles these days as the generic music played on in the foreground. She has just the right amount of junk in her trunk, Tim tracking her ass up the stairs as he followed her post tease sequence. Her partner was lucky Tom Byron and he was in the bedroom waiting for her; feeling her up before committing to some ass play with her clothed behind. Enjoying his attentive dynamic, she unbuckled her belt and slid down her drawers, allowing him to worship her ass before she reciprocated with an aggressive blowjob and session of salad tossing. The tease could have been longer and she could have been more into the salad tossing (she was mechanically licking his ass as he jerked off) but the gal was a solid choice to work with as she knelt before him ready to serve. Sexually, she went back to blowing him before impaling herself vaginally on his rod, alternating between the oral and penetrative sex before eventually taking her active riding style down a couple of notches to accommodate his dick in her ass. She did some taste testing and managed to enjoy the work but it wasn't her best scene to date and as a fan, I really wanted it to be better. If you like male anal play though, this was more extensively showcasing it than most contemporary porn so your mileage may vary considerably. The pop shot went largely to her right eye and face, the gal giving some post coital sucking before the scene faded away.

Scene Three: Rita Faltoyano, the sexy gal in purple undies on the left hand side of the front cover, was up next as she gyrated and showed the benefit of experience as she teased seductively on the bed. I've been watching her scenes for years and have come to the conclusion that she is like a fine wine, getting better with age so as she ended the tease to go into a discussion with Tom Byron, leading into a POV hummer where she treated his family jewels with the greatest of care. The manner in which she slobbed his knob seemed unique in how her hands came into play with the funny popping noises adding some humor as she continued on him. It would not be a stretch to suggest she was a virtuoso with the skin flute given her way of blowing him but it was a nicely lengthy bit of oral action that I found superior in many ways to what else is on the market. He then ate her out for a brief time and she climbed aboard his cock, pumping on it vaginally as her fleshy ass reddened from a few swats. The transition to anal penetration was abrupt and I wondered if cameraman Craig had fucked up or simply did not quite nail the shot as needed but it was almost as nicely handled as Tim's participation in the project, making Rita look hot being among the easiest tasks in porn. She was passive during the initial anal but once she was on top of him, her passionate style kicked in, elevating the heat of the scene substantially for me. Rita has long reminded me a bit of Ginger Lynn in her heyday by the way she grinds her hips when turned on, showing such a heated dynamic in front of Tom's pot propaganda posters hanging on the wall. While she was not an active salad tosser (thank you!) here, she did do ATM before taking his moderate load to her face and chest to end the chemistry filled scene.

Scene Four: Jamie Elle, an exceptionally cute gal with a lithe body and appealing face, was up next as she teased indoors and out with her tight ass showing her compact nature in her tight jeans. The tease was once again minimal compared to some of the better known industry icons of gonzo porn, but given her desire to blow him, I can't fault him too much for acquiescing to her demands. Her corkscrew handjob and hummer were highly complimentary of each other, and Tom Byron pretty much left her to her own way of doing things rather than make foolish demands or dictate specific sex acts that could have killed the heat here. He pounded her active cookie and her anal might not have been as exciting in terms of passionate drilling but she was clearly at home with any of her three holes stuffed full of cock. She was another one that took awhile to warm up to a cock in her ass but even then she was more at home with the cock orally or in her pussy so I'd rather she stick with what works for her; even if her dirty talk was top notch overall. Her black and white picture on the upper right hand corner of the front cover showed her nasty attitude best but this was another time when the performer wasn't at their best for most of the scene. The scene ended with him rubbing out his modest load onto her crotch and gaping asshole, both rubbed raw by the action of the scene.

Scene Five: Amber Rayne, the gal next door brunette showcased on the lower right hand corner of the front cover, was up last as she worked a glass dildo inside of her ass during the loud, obnoxious music. She wore a skimpy orange outfit and climbed into bed with Tom Byron to have some fun, joking that she was outta there when he forgot her name. Her all natural body was boyish from the front but she had a curvy, if covered in blemishes, ass for him to worship orally. That got her worked up enough to slob his knob with gusto, the gal best during the oral portions of her scene since the tease was so limited and the penetrative sex typically a bit much for her. The movie went back to the salad tossing dynamic here and while she seemed exceptionally orally inclined, that is one of those acts that probably feels better than it looks. He was an active vaginal ride and this became a slower, more passive anal bit of work, ending with him rubbing out his own load to her crotch. Ending a movie with the weakest scene is a bold move that few directors care to try but a few of the other scenes were decidedly mixed in terms of quality too so perhaps self awareness isn't high on Tom's list of directing skills.

Summary: Lord of Asses 8 by director Tom Byron for Tom Byron Pictures was a return to directing for the fellow and perhaps not the best use of his admittedly rusty skills. He had some winners lined up in the scenes but also some gals so overshot that they might want a break from the industry to help them generate more buzz than lackluster performances will yield them. There were some nice amounts of strokability and replay in a few scenes but only enough to merit a rating of Rent It for me, albeit with the possibility that a big sale could even things out a bit if you find one. In short, Lord of Asses 8 proved to be the return of Tom to directing and while he may not be in the same league as John Stagliano, Jules Jordan, or Robby D., he shows enough sense to hand over the camera duties to his employees so that he can navigate the wealth of gals available to him. It wasn't a bad set of scenes but I expect a lot from a guy so highly praised by my peers and this was not what was promised by them by a long shot.

You can email me with questions at Houstondon @ hotmail.com if you have any constructive criticism of the review too. :) Also you can follow me on twitter @HoustonDon

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